# "I'm sorry BUT..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169 "2009-07-15T23:45:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169/41 "2009-07-17T14:57:59Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I’m sorry but the phrase “I don’t disagree with you” is much more maddening. I’m sorry, but we’ll just have to agree to disagree. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169/42 "2009-07-22T21:51:31Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > I’m sorry, but we’ll just have to agree to disagree. Are you saying that “agree to disagree” is annoying? Because that’s pretty much the only way to end a debate when both sides have made up their minds. If this phrase is universally reviled on the Dope, it explains why Great Debate threads go on so much longer than their content should allow. I mean, how many times can both sides say the same thing over and over? If you disagree with me, tough. I admit that I’m not sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169/43 "2009-07-22T22:10:36Z")
> [@Creaky](#): > > Exactly! I actually TOLD this sorry wench at this sorry meeting that I WAS SORRY. Not, “I’d like to apologize” but, “I owe you an apology and I am sorry **if** I offended you.” > > I can’t help it if she knew in her heart somehow that I thought she was STILL wrong (which I certainly did). My apology was technically correct and VERY public which is more than she could have ever managed. Grrrr. People. Can’t shoot 'em, can’t live without 'em… (Emphasis mine.) You’d have done a lot better to leave out the “IF”. It’s the kind of thing people making insincere apologies often say, and it suggests that you have some doubt as to whether she was actually offended. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169/44 "2009-07-22T22:14:14Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Are you saying that “agree to disagree” is annoying? Because that’s pretty much the only way to end a debate when both sides have made up their minds. If this phrase is universally reviled on the Dope, it explains why Great Debate threads go on so much longer than their content should allow. I mean, how many times can both sides say the same thing over and over? > > If you disagree with me, tough. I admit that I’m not sorry. I’m sorry, but bless your heart. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169/45 "2009-07-23T02:13:02Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > There is no BUT. If there is then you really aren’t sorry to begin with. I call it the “Frazier Apology”. “I’m sorry Niles, I [just] had a bad day, and then that cab splashed me, and then my microphone shocked me, and…” Apologize first and then explain. Or don’t even explain. Just say you had a bad day and you were in a bad mood and you shouldn’t have said that. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2009, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169/46 "2009-07-23T09:15:34Z")
> [@Creaky](#): > > Exactly. I JUST went hrought this crap with somebody at work yesterday. > > Apparently I insulted a woman during a meeting and she (tacitly) asked for an apology. > > I apologized in front of the WHOLE room but it wasn’t enough for her. She was, like, "That wasn’t an apology because you non-verbally indicated that you had a REASON for not really being sorry (the “but” part). > > Good lord, whatever. They don’t pay me enough for deaing with this crap. Sounds like a good follow up apology is “I’m truly sorry that you’re a huge bitch.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2009, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169/47 "2009-07-23T13:51:24Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > I’m sorry, but bless your heart. If you’re a Southerner, you _really_ owe him an apology now. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-but/503169.md?page=2)