# I'm Sorry, I can't hear you. I have a spider in my ear **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2012, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076 "2012-08-10T13:44:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/1 "2012-08-10T13:44:43Z")
Yuck > [@](#): > > A woman who went to China’s Changsha Central Hospital complaining of itching in the left side of her head was told by doctors that the source of irritation was a spider that had been living inside her ear canal for five days. > > Doctors reportedly used a saline solution to flush out the spider in order to avoid having the spider burrow deeper inside the canal or bite her. There are cringe-inducing pictures [http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/doctors-remove-spider-hiding-woman-ear-canal-195029859.html](http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/doctors-remove-spider-hiding-woman-ear-canal-195029859.html) [http://www.shortlist.com/home/spider-found-in-ear](http://www.shortlist.com/home/spider-found-in-ear) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/2 "2012-08-10T13:49:17Z")
Following the links, we have this less cringe-worthy news item: > [@](#): > > \*\*Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom \*\* > … > … > … > The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table. > He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game. > **[Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html)** > > A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked. Yes, of course he wasn’t. I often hang curtains while nude, myself. It gives the neighbors something to talk about. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/3 "2012-08-10T14:16:51Z")
Soooo, did the medical staff ASK him how he ended up with a potato up his butt, or did he feel it was necessary to explain that he wasn’t playing a sex game on his own initiative? I’ve never hung curtains while nude. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/4 "2012-08-10T14:26:34Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > . . . I’ve never hung curtains while nude. Aw c’mon, Lynn. It’s like picking your nose or using a potato as a sex toy. We all do it. We just don’t want to admit it. TIP: If you ever get a bug in your ear, flood the ear canal with baby oil. You’ll be grateful for this tip if you ever need it. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/5 "2012-08-10T14:28:53Z")
Aw… It’s a cute li’l jumping spider! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/6 "2012-08-10T14:38:35Z")
OH DEAR GOD!! This made me dry heave. Especially comforting is the fact that I found a small spider on my bed when I woke up the other day. Definitely small enough for the ear canal or any canal for that matter. This is actually a great fear of mine, a bug crawling into an orifice. Although previously it had been a fear of a bee getting in my ear. Why? I don’t know because I fucking hate bees. Fuck bees. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/7 "2012-08-10T14:42:04Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Aw… It’s a cute li’l jumping spider! 🙂 Yes. If it wasn’t inside an ear canal it could easily be featured as “creepicute” on _The Daily Squee_ section of I Can Haz Cheezburger dot com. Context is Everything ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/8 "2012-08-10T15:10:44Z")
> [@Aeris](#): > > This is actually a great fear of mine, a bug crawling into an orifice. What if, say, you were hanging some curtains in the nude (as its a nice day). While doing so, in the general proximity of some Idaho Russets, you stumble and manage to lodge a tuber in your bum. Unbeknownst to you, there is a large worm inside the potato, wriggling his merry way to freedom. What do you do? _What do you do_? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/9 "2012-08-10T15:31:05Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > …in the general proximity of some Idaho Russets… The potato of choice in that situation is the fingerling. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/10 "2012-08-10T15:37:36Z")
There’s already a procedure for dealing with this. You introduce (in this order): A bird, a cat, a dog, a goat, a cow and a horse. If you survive the horse, the chances of remission are small. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/11 "2012-08-10T15:39:10Z")
Why would a spider bite the inside of someone’s ear? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/12 "2012-08-10T15:40:42Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > What if, say, you were hanging some curtains in the nude (as its a nice day). While doing so, in the general proximity of some Idaho Russets, you stumble and manage to lodge a tuber in your bum. Unbeknownst to you, there is a large worm inside the potato, wriggling his merry way to freedom. > > What do you do? _What do you do_? Die without seeking medical attention! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/13 "2012-08-10T15:40:46Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Why would a spider bite the inside of someone’s ear? To catch the fly. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/14 "2012-08-10T15:48:34Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Why would a spider bite the inside of someone’s ear? Because they’re the evilest fucking satanspawn on the planet. Seriously…after looking at those pictures, if that happened to me, the only reasonable way to get rid of that thing would be via shotgun blast. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/15 "2012-08-10T15:55:12Z")
Eww, I would go nuts knowing I had a spider in my ear. Look at those pictures! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/16 "2012-08-10T16:25:30Z")
I think this is a situation where the doctors should just tell the patient “You had something in your ear, but we got it out no problem, so you should be OK now”, without being specific about just what the something was. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/17 "2012-08-10T16:59:18Z")
Spidey just wanted to feast on a few ear mites and keep the roaches out. Cute liddle fuzzy forward-facing jumpy spider!!! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/18 "2012-08-10T17:17:25Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I think this is a situation where the doctors should just tell the patient “You had something in your ear, but we got it out no problem, so you should be OK now”, without being specific about just what the something was. No, the proper response is to say “We took it out of your _other_ ear. It was a female. And they lay eggs.” And then enjoy the hysterics. (Proper thanks to Rod Serling for writing “The Caterpillar” screenplay for _Night Gallery_, and to Oscar Cook for writing the original story > **["Night Gallery" The Caterpillar/Little Girl Lost (TV Episode 1972) ⭐ 8.0 |...](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0660818/)** > > | TV-PG > **[Night Gallery Blogging: "The Caterpillar"](https://reflectionsonfilmandtelevision.blogspot.com/2008/11/night-gallery-blogging-caterpillar.html)** ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/19 "2012-08-10T17:37:21Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > What if, say, you were hanging some curtains in the nude (as its a nice day). While doing so, in the general proximity of some Idaho Russets, you stumble and manage to lodge a tuber in your bum. Unbeknownst to you, there is a large worm inside the potato, wriggling his merry way to freedom. > > What do you do? _What do you do_? Answer: First of all, I would not hang curtains naked, that’s ridiculous. BUT if it did happen I would vomit and poo myself until I’m a puddle of goo on the floor and then hopefully be found by some EMTs who will then do what they do. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076/20 "2012-08-10T18:31:07Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom. My Privates’ Own Idaho? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-i-cant-hear-you-i-have-a-spider-in-my-ear/631076.md?page=2)