# "I'm sorry if anyone was offended"...No You Aren't **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 25, 2013, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383 "2013-02-25T22:54:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![SirGalahad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@SirGalahad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirGalahad)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/81 "2013-02-28T21:05:51Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Why can’t folks just apologize?? I am so sick of these non-apology apologies that amount to basically, “I did nothing wrong, I meant nothing, but you are kind of an overly sensitive wuss.” Own your contrition and criminey, even if you aren’t really sorry, but you are just doing it to save your political/acting/sporting/music/nuclear physicist job do a fucking better job faking it than “I’m sorry you were offended” because quite honestly that is worse than no fucking apology. Isn’t that something of a passive-aggressive response? “I’m saying I’m sorry, so you really can’t fault me, but I sort of want you to know I contemptuous of you.” I honestly don’t care who’s sorry for what, or the degree or sincerity of their contrition. Nor do I care if I offend an over-sensitive individual unless that person is a judge or a cop. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/82 "2013-03-01T02:55:51Z")
> [@vd](#): > > Just make the apology about what you did, rather than how it made them feel. If you’re sincere, own it. “I’m sorry. What I said was wrong.” You can then follow up with feeling bad about the feeling bad and what you really meant. That is usually the order I in which I apologize. Problem is I apologize for just about everything. Lol. I apologize for things like when people run into me or I drop something. Things I shouldn’t be apologizing for but still have this reflex were I just say I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![SirGalahad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@SirGalahad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirGalahad)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/83 "2013-03-01T16:40:06Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > That is usually the order I in which I apologize. Problem is I apologize for just about everything. Lol. I apologize for things like when people run into me or I drop something. Things I shouldn’t be apologizing for but still have this reflex were I just say I’m sorry. Sorry to hear that. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/84 "2013-03-01T17:09:28Z")
> [@SirGalahad](#): > > Sorry to hear that. Me too. Sorry I said anything. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/85 "2013-03-02T00:19:01Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > Offer noisome joy unto the Lord! Hee! I guess it depends if you like the smell of incense or not! ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/86 "2013-03-02T00:36:41Z")
All these days later after the original post, I’m still a huge fan of “I couldn’t be sorrier” I’m going to use that from now on. It’s absolutely 100% bulletproof and brilliant and SOUNDS just like an actual genuine apology. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/87 "2013-03-03T03:49:31Z")
As stated in previous posts and my personal favorite to hate: “I’m sorry if you feel that way.” Wha…?!? Like it’s my fault. I wouldn’t feel that way if you hadn’t made me with what you said. It’s not the way I took it, it’s how you meant it and I reacted accordingly, dick. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/88 "2013-03-03T04:20:09Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > As stated in previous posts and my personal favorite to hate: “I’m sorry if you feel that way.” > > Wha…?!? Like it’s my fault. I wouldn’t feel that way if you hadn’t made me with what you said. It’s not the way I took it, it’s how you meant it and I reacted accordingly, dick. The point, as I believe has been made in this thread, is often the person saying that A) Isn’t sorry or B) Thinks you need to get over yourself. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/89 "2013-03-03T21:35:26Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:69, topic:651383”] You forgot to mention that you were the one riding the goat and holding the apple. [/QUOTE] Princhester, apologize to the goat already. If the goat was offended, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/90 "2013-03-04T01:50:05Z")
> [@11811](#): > > Princhester, apologize to the goat already. If the goat was offended, I mean. So . . . if he got the goat’s goat? 😕 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/91 "2013-03-04T02:30:51Z")
> [@11811](#): > > Princhester, apologize to the goat already. If the goat was offended, I mean. The goat is never offended. The squid, on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/92 "2013-03-04T04:07:04Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > The point, as I believe has been made in this thread, is often the person saying that A) Isn’t sorry or B) Thinks you need to get over yourself. That’s basically what it says in the OP, and in fact that’s what the OP is complaining about: > [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Why can’t folks just apologize?? I am so sick of these non-apology apologies that amount to basically, “I did nothing wrong, I meant nothing, but you are kind of an overly sensitive wuss.” Own your contrition and criminey, even if you aren’t really sorry, but you are just doing it to save your political/acting/sporting/music/nuclear physicist job do a fucking better job faking it than “I’m sorry you were offended” because quite honestly that is worse than no fucking apology. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/93 "2013-03-04T06:36:44Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > That’s basically what it says in the OP, and in fact that’s what the OP is complaining about: And which a number of people in the thread are disagreeing with - to wit, if someone’s being forced to apologise for something they’re not actually sorry for, they should be able to use a “Weasel Apology” if they want to. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/94 "2013-03-04T16:53:52Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > And which a number of people in the thread are disagreeing with - to wit, if someone’s being forced to apologise for something they’re not actually sorry for, they should be able to use a “Weasel Apology” if they want to. Sure they can, and they sound just like a weasel and my advice is if you are going to fake an apologize at least do it so you don’t sound like an even bigger dick, or don’t do it at all. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/95 "2013-03-04T17:59:25Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Sure they can, and they sound just like a weasel and my advice is if you are going to fake an apologize at least do it so you don’t sound like **an even bigger dick** , or don’t do it at all. Exactly. Since time immemorial a danger of the weasel apology has been that it would inflame your audience to physical violence; sometimes referred to as ‘whacking the weasel.’ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383/96 "2013-03-04T18:47:22Z")
Here in British Columbia a 17 page “memo” was leaked detailing how the BC Liberal Party cout win the “ethnic vote” by making apologies for historic wrongs, etc. The fall out is pretty huge, the writer of the memo has resigned, people within her own party are indginant, riding association presidents quitting etc. Now the premier apologises for “The language in the document”. As if the language was the offensive part. [Link](http://www.cbc.ca/m/touch/news/story/2013/03/04/bc-christy-clark-ethnic-vote.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended-no-you-arent/651383.md?page=4)