# I'm starting my own country **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2004, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655 "2004-12-02T04:45:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/21 "2004-12-02T17:06:24Z")
Can I be the Duchess of Milton? I’ll rule my duchy with an iron Swingline! ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/22 "2004-12-02T17:11:30Z")
I want to be Chief Cat Herder! ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/23 "2004-12-02T17:16:04Z")
Can I be Minister for Random Plans, you see I have this plan for infinite energy… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/24 "2004-12-02T17:18:18Z")
Can I be Secretary of All Things Fun to Play With? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/25 "2004-12-02T17:19:20Z")
Or Chief Executioner of All People Who Piss Me Off? ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/26 "2004-12-02T17:57:32Z")
I’d like to be Secretary of Disinformation (we can think of a name for public use later). My first order of business would be to invent a country, say Greatistan, that we could blame all our problems on and would take the heat for all your brilliant ideas, that have somehow turned out to be not 100% perfect, through no fault of your own your highness. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/27 "2004-12-02T17:57:32Z")
You can’t run a country without a Ministry of Female Underwear Removal and Inspection. I don’t want to run it, but I would like to work there. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/28 "2004-12-02T18:02:44Z")
I’d cut my right hand for the position of Justice Minister in Asgard. ---
**Author:** ![Canadiangirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Canadiangirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadiangirl)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/29 "2004-12-02T18:16:13Z")
Can I be in charge of something too? Can I? Can I? I can be Chief, Vice President in Charge of Enjoyment of Space, Air and Water. ---
**Author:** ![Eliphalet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eliphalet/32/9563_2.png) [@Eliphalet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eliphalet)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/30 "2004-12-02T18:28:08Z")
I, personally, lay claim to the the title of (get ready for it…) Warlord of Exsanguination, Defenestration and Evisceration. Pillager of Pies and Snacks, Watcher of Pretty Women Which is completely different than the Watcher of _Pretty Woman_; a job better applied as a torture device for King **Odinoneeye’s** enemies ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/31 "2004-12-02T20:15:00Z")
I want to be **Lord High Poobah**! But not of anything, I don’t want to be tied down with actual responsibilities, I just want the privileges of high rank with nothing to do for it. I can be the foundation of your national aristocracy and live a life of wealth and conspicuous consumption. _Somebody’s_ got to make the sacrifice so that the peasants will have something to revolt against. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/32 "2004-12-02T21:28:39Z")
All the above wishes are granted with the following provisions. **Vunderbob** , you are Chief Executioner of All People that Piss You Off as long as they Piss Me Off as well. Also, you can double duty as Secretary of All Things Fun To Play With Except PS2. Hal Briston already called that. **Elenia** I don’t need a concumbine, but **Tapioca Desxtrin** is inspector of the royal harem which doesn’t exist yet, so if you’re cousin would like to be the royal harem. P.S. It doesn’t matter if I’m cute, I’m in charge! ---
**Author:** ![iggy\_popov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@iggy\_popov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iggy_popov)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/33 "2004-12-02T22:15:39Z")
Can I be the Secretary of Fun and Excitement? ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/34 "2004-12-02T22:35:54Z")
What’s your official stand on, “Retirees Who Generally Mooch Off The Public Largess?” If I can count on you for a little cash each month I might be persuaded to come over and hang for a while. Don’t want any work, responsibilities, chores, obligations, or items of productivity - but I do a mean hang out and do what I want all day. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/35 "2004-12-02T22:37:39Z")
> [@FordPrefect](#): > > You can’t run a country without a Ministry of Female Underwear Removal and Inspection. I don’t want to run it, but I would like to work there. **VunderBob** already called this one in post #24. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/36 "2004-12-02T22:39:26Z")
I would like to apply for the post of “Official Court Composer.” I would also head the **Ministry of Cultural Purity: Music Division** I will require discretionary power to summarily execute all those who compose, perform, promote or listen to anything Muzak, Top 40, Lite Jazz or anything else soulless, saccharine or created with commercial rather than creative intent. We will, however, promote and provide for all those who wish to contribute to the culture of our society in the musical arts, as long it’s not one of the above. In addition to sitting around playing music all day, I would work closely with **duffer** ’s **BPB&S** ( **Bureau of Pot, Booze and Smokes** ) performing random quality control checks on the substances that pass through the borders of the kingdom. ---
**Author:** ![DWToml815](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DWToml815](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWToml815)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/37 "2004-12-02T23:56:13Z")
We could of course retire there at 25, right? ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/38 "2004-12-02T23:58:40Z")
All right **Picker** , but here are my rules concerning the creation of music. Musicians are allowed to produce 1 and only 1 song a year. This song must be honed to perfection. Each musician is allowed 1 and only 1 bad song. If they produce a bad song twice, their music license is revoked and they must get a real job. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/39 "2004-12-02T23:59:31Z")
Pick me! Pick me! I wanna be in charge of Homeland Perversity, right here! Me! Me! ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655/40 "2004-12-03T00:03:40Z")
> [@](#): > > All right Picker, but here are my rules concerning the creation of music. > > Musicians are allowed to produce 1 and only 1 song a year. This song must be honed to perfection. Each musician is allowed 1 and only 1 bad song. If they produce a bad song twice, their music license is revoked and they must get a real job. I’m down with that. I’m assuming that as official composer, I will be exempt from the one song a year requirement? In the interests of the state, of course… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-my-own-country/277655.md?page=3)