# I'm starting to do a little acting. Help me pick some audition monologues. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 6, 2019, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613 "2019-03-06T03:49:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/1 "2019-03-06T03:49:51Z")
I’ve recently started acting in some zero-budget and student films. This is just a hobby. I don’t have any immediate plans to do it for money, but I suppose if I actually show some talent, maybe I’ll invest in some training and see if I can make a go of it. I’ll have to see how the movies I’m doing currently turn out. For now, I’m just having fun with it. The auditions I’ve done so far have been pretty informal cold readings. But I realize I need to have a couple monologues ready to go for auditions. Most of the casting calls I see that ask for you to have a monologue ready specify a contemporary monologue about one to two minutes long. I’m thinking I want to prepare maybe a pensive monologue, a lighthearted one, and an intense one. For the pensive one, I think I’ve settled on the “pinot noir speech” from _Sideways_. For a lighthearted one, I have no clue. For an intense one, maybe something from _Breaking Bad_, but not the “I am the one who knocks!” bit, which seems too obvious to me. When I shave my head I look a lot like Walter White, so I think something from _Breaking Bad_ would work, just something lesser known. I’m a thin 46 year old white guy. In real life, I’m gloomy and depressed, with a short temper, so anything that plays to those characteristics might be a good fir for me. Oh, and I’ve been living under a rock since my son was born eight years ago, so I’m mostly oblivious to any recent movies. Links to clips would be most appreciated. Suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/2 "2019-03-06T04:45:54Z")
Martin Scorsese in _Taxi Driver_ - intense Dennis Hopper in \*Apocalypse Now\* could possibly be played lighthearted (definitely lightheaded). [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJdLk-lB6) Zk NOTE: Owing to a hanging, half-naked corpse in the BG of this scene, I have separated the last two characters of the link to be in accordance with the site’s “two-click” rule. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/3 "2019-03-06T07:18:12Z")
I’ve done a little bit of acting myself. I say go for the best: Hamlet’s soliloquy from Act 3, Scene 1. If they want a comical monologue, I recommend the Porter Man’s long speech near the end of _Henry VIII_ Act 5, Scene 3. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/4 "2019-03-06T08:12:48Z")
I took a drama class in high school. Everyone had to do a monologue. Our teacher was a serious theatre woman and very much had the attitude of 'nothing is off limits." Profanity, sexual references, whatever, she said if it’s a monologue from a script, it’s allowed. So fuck it, I said, I’m doing _Glengarry Glen Ross_, which I (as a high school junior) had recently watched for the first time. Not, actually, the more famous Alec Baldwin “Always Be Closing” bit, but the tirade that Pacino’s character Ricky Roma delivers to Williamson, the office manager portrayed by Kevin Spacey, after Wiliamson fucked up Roma’s deal by making a rookie mistake of revealing something the client wasn’t supposed to hear. The first words of the monologue were “You stupid fuckin’ cunt.” I honestly can’t remember what kind of reaction it got, but the teacher kept her word and didn’t have any objections to it. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/5 "2019-03-06T08:54:22Z")
My go-to monologue: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/HiFEzc_gsuw/hqdefault.jpg "William Shatner - Shatnerian Monologue - Star Trek "Return To Tomorrow"") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiFEzc_gsuw) ---
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/6 "2019-03-06T09:30:45Z")
Depending upon what is meant by ‘contemporary’, and my suggestions are purely from a my favourite monologues perspective. For intense you can’t go far past [Quint’s Indianapolis monologue.](https://youtu.be/xO60RohuARY) I’m not sure if the specific monologue is necessarily comedic itself, in fact it could probably be in the pensive category, but I’ve always like [Billy Crystals speech from City Slickers](https://youtu.be/IqX6z6djbD4) Not sure if it would be long enough but I’ve always loved [Roy Batty’s monologue in Bladerunner](https://youtu.be/HU7Ga7qTLDU) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/7 "2019-03-06T11:33:43Z")
> [@Defensive\_Indifference](#): > > I’m a thin 46 year old white guy. In real life, I’m gloomy and depressed, with a short temper, so anything that plays to those characteristics might be a good fit for me. > > Suggestions? _Clerks_, Chewlies Gum Representative [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gHqYddtmNU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gHqYddtmNU) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/8 "2019-03-06T13:09:58Z")
I second the “Indianapolis” monologue. Don’t do it in Quint’s weird accent, though. Make it your own. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/9 "2019-03-06T16:34:30Z")
Some good suggestions so far. The Quint monologue is a great idea. I definitely wouldn’t try the accent. I can barely get around in my own accent most of the time. Maybe I can try to tackle dialects when I master some of the fundamentals. Anyway, I like that speech a lot, and I think I can pull it off. I’m not sure the _Taxi Driver_ scene is right for me, but the _Glengarry Glen Ross_ one is a contender. I think I can do an office meltdown. Speaking of which, I just thought of the scene in _Charlie Wilson’s War_ where Philip Seymour Hoffman blows up at his boss. That might be a good one too. OK, so I’ve got some good options for the “intense” one. I need a lighter one. The Billy Crystal one could work, but maybe something a little more obviously comedic would be good. Or maybe one from a romance movie? Any good 1-2 minute speeches from a middle aged guy in a romance? ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/10 "2019-03-06T16:47:28Z")
“46 year old white guy”, “short temper” For intense, how about Col. Jessup’s courtroom “speech” from “A Few Good Men” (“we live in a world that has walls…”) ---
**Author:** ![kbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kbear)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/11 "2019-03-06T19:47:59Z")
Newsroom’s Jeff Daniel’s rant about why America isn’t the greatest country in the world? ---
**Author:** ![snoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@snoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snoe)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/12 "2019-03-06T20:09:51Z")
For some reason I want to suggest Spalding Gray, probably something from _Swimming to Cambodia_, for the lighter one. (What? It’s got funny bits!) Going from memory, here would be some short funny bits: Spalding gets “cahst” in The Killing Fields by Roland Joffe Spalding’s girlfriend Renee almost gets beaten up by the upstairs neighbors [What New York Does to You - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI4NvgpjXYo) Spalding’s description of Nixon’s post-Kent State visit to the Mall to meet with protesters All of these give you the chance to “do” voices/accents without having to do them particularly well, since you’re telling stories from Gray’s point of view. ETA: Now that I think about it, these probably aren’t very “light.” Sorry ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/13 "2019-03-06T20:17:21Z")
If you’re a relatively inexperienced actor, I’d stay away from iconic bits…especially Shakespeare. I’d also go with something from a play rather than TV, but that’s a personal preference. Just google “audition monologues” and you’ll find a wealth of material available. Also, make friends with someone that can do video editing. If you do enough work, you’ll want to get your friend to assemble clips of your best stuff into a “sizzle reel”, sometimes called an audition reel. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/14 "2019-03-06T22:26:11Z")
A good source for monologues: > **[Colin's Movie Monologue Page - more than 1,200 files from over the last 17 years](http://www.whysanity.net/monos/)** > > A multitude of movie monologues -- for auditions, classes, or just general entertainment -- from classic and contemporary movies. I’ve used more than a few from there, when auditioning for community theatre. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/15 "2019-03-06T23:19:53Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > A good source for monologues: > > [Colin's Movie Monologue Page - more than 1,200 files from over the last 17 years](http://www.whysanity.net/monos/) > > I’ve used more than a few from there, when auditioning for community theatre. Oooh, cool. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2019, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/16 "2019-03-06T23:21:31Z")
If you’re willing to go exceptionally dark with your ‘intense’ monologue, you could try this reading from [12 Angry Men - 1957](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTDhgR3p12w). If the director responds with the correct line, that just means you’re doing a fine job - or you really suck. One or the other. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/17 "2019-03-07T01:43:43Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > If you’re willing to go exceptionally dark with your ‘intense’ monologue, you could try this reading from [12 Angry Men - 1957](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTDhgR3p12w). If the director responds with the correct line, that just means you’re doing a fine job - or you really suck. One or the other. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/18 "2019-03-07T02:10:47Z")
“These pretzels…are making me thirsty” ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/19 "2019-03-07T03:23:53Z")
> [@snoe](#): > > For some reason I want to suggest Spalding Gray, probably something from _Swimming to Cambodia_, for the lighter one. (What? It’s got funny bits!) > > Going from memory, here would be some short funny bits: > Spalding gets “cahst” in The Killing Fields by Roland Joffe > Spalding’s girlfriend Renee almost gets beaten up by the upstairs neighbors [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI4NvgpjXYo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI4NvgpjXYo) > Spalding’s description of Nixon’s post-Kent State visit to the Mall to meet with protesters > > All of these give you the chance to “do” voices/accents without having to do them particularly well, since you’re telling stories from Gray’s point of view. > > ETA: Now that I think about it, these probably aren’t very “light.” Sorry ☹ “Spaldinnnng! Come baaack!” ---
**Author:** ![Kimble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kimble/32/19185_2.png) [@Kimble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimble)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613/20 "2019-03-07T04:09:57Z")
[Libby’s audition](https://youtu.be/7jQ0SbWYdgQ) [[script](http://www.whysanity.net/monos/libby.html)], deleted from _Waiting for Guffman_? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-do-a-little-acting-help-me-pick-some-audition-monologues/830613.md?page=2)