# I'm starting to go bald, and it makes me feel like a worse person. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 12, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201 "2013-12-12T22:30:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/41 "2013-12-13T05:00:17Z")
Voting for shave it. Mind you, I’ve had my head shaved and know it’s a fair, well shaped head; you may be bulbous. But anything’s better than the Hair Club and combovers. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/42 "2013-12-13T05:01:04Z")
I met my boyfriend after he was already bald, so maybe that colors my perception. I was initially attracted to his voice, leadership skills, and strength of character. Oh, and his eyes are sooo pretty. I guess if his eyes started falling out, that would be justifiably upsetting… 😉 > [@Leaffan](#): > > Being fat isn’t a normal thing; are you kidding me? > > Being fat is a choice; being bald is not. Really, do we need to do this here? You know what she meant. ---
**Author:** ![Carryon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Carryon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carryon)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/43 "2013-12-13T09:00:11Z")
I know how you feel, when I was in 8th grade I was playing baseball and got smashed in the mouth with a fast ball and I lost my two front teeth. I have worn dentures since then. I spent money on implants later on in life and they feel and look great but they didn’t last. And for $2,000 a tooth I expected more than a year. Anyway, I feel for you, as I’ve had people react very funny when they found out I had fake front teeth. It does get easier as you get older, but I’m only in my early 30s so you still get negative reactions. But on the flip side, ain’t nothing you can do really so as my mother said, “The sooner you learn to accept it the better off you’ll be.” ---
**Author:** ![Whitney\_Harper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@Whitney\_Harper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whitney_Harper)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/44 "2013-12-13T11:23:22Z")
I am not joking, but it can help to live in a climate where it gets cold in the winter, then you are wearing a hat a lot of the time. I live in a cold climate, and a bonus about it, is that when my hair is not clean, or my hair color starts to grow out, I can most of the time simply wear a hat. Your wife sounds great, and she married you, not some guy with a lot of hair, so please just accept it. Acceptance can be a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/45 "2013-12-13T11:38:09Z")
If I already loved a man, him starting to lose his hair certainly wouldn’t affect how I felt about him. I’m not that shallow. But I am shallow enough that if he was balding when we met, that might be different. And let’s not just tell the guy to shave his head. That looks good or okay on some men and terrible on others. We would need to see a picture to give advice on that. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/46 "2013-12-13T13:35:33Z")
True, you have to have the head for it. (Still, better than a comb-over no matter how mishapen the skull.) Another hat in winter part … no hat head! ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/47 "2013-12-13T13:59:29Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > Well, that stinks. I’ve heard some horror stories from folks who have gone to less than reputable facilities. The only way to combat this is with research. There are some providers that have excellent reputations. Sucks for him its true. He DID his research ad infinitum! He’s not one to jump into things believe me. But the transplants dont work for everyone apparently. He is just genetically programmed to have thin hair, why fight nature? ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/48 "2013-12-13T14:26:27Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > Just be a man about it and be bald. Yup. Look your age; 38 is hardly “young”, and trying to look like it by using rogaine and hair dye is just as sad as those dried-up middle aged women trying to look like they’re in their 20s by wearing age-inappropriate clothing and getting boob jobs, etc… ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/49 "2013-12-13T15:01:55Z")
Look at VP Joe biden…$80,000 worth of hair plugs -and he still looks like a moron! As George Costanza said: “once it advances past the top, its all downhill” You can always have your head tattooed!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/50 "2013-12-13T15:14:00Z")
Own your baldness. Women find confidence much more sexy than hair. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/51 "2013-12-13T15:17:50Z")
I started going bald at 21 yrs old, by 25 my hair was so thin that in a photo I looked like my top was completely bald. I am 65 now and have felt sexy and atractive every day of my life, even though every woman would not agree. I never could understand the panic about going bald, none of us appeal to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/52 "2013-12-13T15:26:15Z")
> [@Motorgirl](#): > > My thoughts on balding men. (in the interests of full disclosure I should tell you that my husband is fairly bald and was starting to bald when I met him, when he was in his early 20s). > > I find it to be a neutral factor - it doesn’t make a man more or less attractive to me, as long as he OWNS his thinning/receding hair. Don’t try to cover it up. Find a haircut that works with the pattern you’re developing and fits your face and carry it with confidence. > > Remember - you can’t go bald without lots of testosterone, right? You’re super manly! 😃 I agree, it’s neutral to me. There are some really attractive bald men, some really ugly, and a lot in between. You just need to own it and get a haircut that works for you. Maybe not shave it all off at first, but usually a short hair cut helps for balding men. And feel free to ignore this advice, but maybe if you’re feeling insecure about your looks, maybe use this as a chance to update your wardrobe or do other things that make you feel like you look better. Don’t go overboard and try to start dressing or looking like a college kid, but a man in a good well-tailored suit always looks good. You won’t ever look like a 20-year-old again, but you can look like the best version of the 36-year-old man that you are. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/53 "2013-12-13T16:16:54Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Yup. Look your age; 38 is hardly “young”, and trying to look like it by using rogaine and hair dye is just as sad as those dried-up middle aged women trying to look like they’re in their 20s by wearing age-inappropriate clothing and getting boob jobs, etc… Well aren’t you pleasant. 38 isn’t young but it’s not old. I don’t see why he shouldn’t try Rogaine. If it does work, then it doesn’t look weird, right? It either will do nothing or it will look natural. There’s nothing sad about it. It’s not a cheap toupee. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/54 "2013-12-13T16:22:50Z")
I apologize to anyone who may have already said this, but you might want to look into shaving your head. It can be hit or miss, but if it doesn’t work out your remaining hair will eventually grow back. Otherwise, as one person did say before, going bald means you have lots of testosterone. Take pride in your manliness. ---
**Author:** ![Dustin\_the\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f1d935/32.png) [@Dustin\_the\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dustin_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/55 "2013-12-13T17:41:56Z")
FWIW, I find a bald/shaved man with a neat beard and moustache very sexy (hello, Bryan Cranston). I agree what a previous poster said about confidence being more sexy than hair. I hope you can learn to embrace it. When I was single, I found it odd that some women would find baldness to be a negative. Blows my mind. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/56 "2013-12-13T18:01:48Z")
When I was younger I didn’t find bald(IMF) men attractive but then I have never liked men who are older than me. Now that I’m in my forties it’s no big deal. I mettle husband three years ago and he was quite thin on top. I still think he’s very sexy. He started taking testosterone and his hair is rapidly thinning on top even more. It just really doesn’t have anything to do with how I see him. At mid life most men don’t have a lot if hair, so that’s just the way it is. It’s a sign of maturity and being further along in life. I wouldn’t want a younger man with a full head of hair. Men in their twenties look like kids to me, we are in different worlds. Whether or not you lose your hair your wife could always find a younger man. She is with you for a reason. I am starting to get some symptoms of being premenopausal and when I turned 40 I was like you, I felt like I was a totally different person, like I was so old and unattractive. My h is three years younger than me and I kept thinking he was going to regret being with someone who is already having symptoms of menopause. But it really got better. I think I’m in a better place about it now. I think a lot of men feel better about these things when they start working out, lifting weights because that’s something they can control and improves their appearance. ---
**Author:** ![skylyn12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@skylyn12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skylyn12)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/57 "2013-12-13T20:01:26Z")
Gotta agree about the working out helping. When I decided to shave my head (I shave it every other day with an electric shaver, no attachments) I also decided to get in better shape. I love it and feel like I look better than I ever have. I spent a year or two in my early thirties hiding under hats and worrying about my hair (not to mention, even when I had a ‘full’ head of hair it was pretty thin and flat). It sucked and I am glad I took the plunge. Not dealing with hair is very freeing. In short- shave your head and start lifting weights! ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/58 "2013-12-13T20:51:26Z")
I find myself noticing men who have cute faces who are balding more now than ever because they remind me of my husband. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![phreesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@phreesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreesh)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/59 "2013-12-13T21:34:24Z")
I’m a bald(ing) guy around your age and I think it’s a bit of a bummer, too. I will 28th that you should keep your hair short and ‘own’ it. My coping mechanism has been to stay fit. I think it keeps me in the game vs. my pudgy friends with flowing manes. You have to treat it like any other ‘deficiency’. You’re not as good at chess as some guys. Does that weigh on your mind? You’re not as tall as some guys. Is that a problem? You make less money, etc, etc. You can’t have everything. Focus on the good things you bring to the world, not on what you don’t have. I think there’s a lot of good advice in this thread. If it’s really important to you, try some of the baldness remedies and try to get hair back. If it’s not that important to you, don’t apologize for it and have confidence in all the non-hair things you offer to the world. What you do’t want to be is the guy who’s ashamed to be bald and grows their hair out to compensate or always has a hat on or whatever. That’s just sad. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201/60 "2013-12-13T23:01:27Z")
Does anyone still wear toupees anymore? Are those still around? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-starting-to-go-bald-and-it-makes-me-feel-like-a-worse-person/676201.md?page=4)