# I'm stuck in my pants.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 28, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141 "2001-02-28T02:15:31Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/1 "2001-02-28T02:15:31Z")
For some reason this particular pair of pants has a lot of extra fabric right behind the zipper. If I’m not paying attention and I zip the pants too fast, the zipper gets stuck. This happens to me almost every single time I wear these pants, but I usually get the zipper unstuck with little difficulty. This is the second time I haven’t been able to unzip my pants. I’m stuck in my pants!
Last time I got the zipper too stuck to get out, I got so frustrated that I took my pants off (the zipper got stuck half way up) and cut at the fabric with a pop can. (I was in my dad’s truck in the middle of nowhere (read: Wyoming) and didn’t have a scissors or knife handy.) It worked and all was well with my pants once again. I’m at home now, so I can use a pair of scissors. But I’m too lazy to do it now so, for the time being, I’m stuck in my pants. Except this time, the zipper’s all the way up. And I really have to pee.
---
### Author:  [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/2 "2001-02-28T02:23:47Z")
Whatever you do _dont_ think about warm waterfalls… whoooooshh…
---
### Author:  [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/3 "2001-02-28T02:27:58Z")
or go down one a them dirt roads in your dads truck…
But, this _is_ a stressful situation. I think you need to make absolutely _sure_ you stay properly hydrated…
---
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/4 "2001-02-28T02:33:26Z")
HA! Nice try, but you’re too late. (No, I didn’t piss all over myself.) I managed to wiggle out of my pants with the zipper still up. Then, like the dumbass I am, I wiggled back into them. So now, when I get up the motivation to chop up this extra fabric (again), I have to try to wiggle out of my pants (again).
---
### Author:  [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/5 "2001-02-28T02:37:15Z")
So, I’m startin ta get this picture of ‘all that extra cloth’ pressing into, and somewhat cutting off the blood supply to
your brain…
:wiggle wiggle:
😉
---
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/6 "2001-02-28T02:42:45Z")
I’m not cutting off my blood supply. Hehehe. Look at your pants. There’s a flap right behind the zipper, acting as a guard between the zipper and your skin. For some reason, that flap of fabric is waaaaaay bigger than necessary on these pants, and it gets in the way.
---
### Author:  [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/7 "2001-02-28T02:48:01Z")
I’m sure any one of hundreds of men on this board would be willing to try to charm you out of your pants.
Maybe you should pick a couple and let them try. If all else fails, you can at least laugh your ass off at them.
---
### Author:  [@Short](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Short)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/8 "2001-02-28T02:51:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*
> **I’m not cutting off my blood supply. Hehehe. Look at your pants. There’s a flap right behind the zipper, acting as a guard between the zipper and your skin.**
:checks pants: Well I’ll be. Myself, I generally wear underwear for this reason.
---
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/9 "2001-02-28T02:55:47Z")
Should I start a thread: “Charm me out of my pants”? Hehehe. Good idea, Sue. I hate these pants. But they’re my favorite pants. I tell myself everytime I put them on “Pay attention now, don’t get the zipper stuck.” I don’t though. :rolleyes:
Short, that’s a guess on my part. I actually have no idea what the actual function of the fabric is. And some people _do_ go without underwear, be it occasionally or all the time.
---
### Author:  [@zyzzyva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zyzzyva)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/10 "2001-02-28T02:58:03Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \*
> **I’m sure any one of hundreds of men on this board would be willing to try to charm you out of your pants.**
Sue, you disappoint me. The correct line is, “don’t be sad. Just think of all the men on this board that would love to be stuck in your pants.” 😃
Good to have you back, Silver. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/11 "2001-02-28T03:02:34Z")
Iiiii’m not lookin at my pants
_You_ look at my pants
Iiiii’m not lookin at your pants
_You_ look at your pants…
_wait a minute_
‘I hate these pants, but they’re my favorite pants’?
Now listen Silver- _stay off_ the dirt roads, k?
Only go on the nice smooth paved ones…
---
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/12 "2001-02-28T03:13:25Z")
LOL! Thanks, zyzz. It’s good to be back. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/13 "2001-02-28T03:23:06Z")
[Velveeta French accent]
Your eyes are like precious and succulent gems, spreading light and heat throughout the world, and roughly corresponding to whatever stone matches the colour they are in real life.
Your lips are like slivers of rainbow, bringing happiness and wistful thoughts to all who see them.
Your pants are like… OH MY GOD! For the love of Hannah, girl, what did I tell you about going and spoiling the mood like that? Holy Hannah! I can’t work under these conditions, grumble, grumble, and they said that they’re be pie, too. (Walks off shaking his head)
[/Velveeta French accent]
---
### Author:  [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/14 "2001-02-28T03:44:37Z")
Would you like some beer? 😃
---
### Author:  [@LazarusLong42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LazarusLong42)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/15 "2001-02-28T03:44:44Z")
I opened this thread only to see how many of the SDMB Official Horny Guy Club had popped in to say “I’d like to be stuck in your pants, Silver.”
I’m disappointed. Only one. And, no, I think **zyzz** is female.
Guess I’ll have to take up the slack. So to speak.
Silver, I wouldn’t miond being stuck in your pants.[sub]But don’t tell my girlfriend I said that.[/sub]
LL
---
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/16 "2001-02-28T03:57:37Z")
Oh no, zyzz is most definitely male. And a very nice one at that.
---
### Author:  [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/17 "2001-02-28T04:03:26Z")
oops, I retract the brain comment…
:goes and ponders the splendorous idiocy in the mirror for a while:
Soo, Silver, about those pants…
😉
---
### Author:  [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/18 "2001-02-28T04:20:57Z")
I’m still stuck in them.
---
### Author:  [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/19 "2001-02-28T05:14:12Z")
Dear, let me help.
It’s what I’m here for…
---
### Author:  [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2001, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141/20 "2001-02-28T05:29:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \*
> \*\*I’m not cutting off my blood supply. Hehehe. Look at your pants. There’s a flap right behind the zipper, acting as a guard between the zipper and your skin. For some reason, that flap of fabric is waaaaaay bigger than necessary on these pants, and it gets in the way. \*\*
Sounds like _somebody_ is jealous…
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-stuck-in-my-pants/56141.md?page=2)