# I'm terribly disappointed with the recent lack of crackpots **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [December 3, 2007, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716 "2007-12-03T22:37:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2007, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/1 "2007-12-03T22:37:06Z")
[Freemasonry?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_138.html) Nada. [Autolevitation?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_136.html) Zipola. [Scientology?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_134.html) Not even freakin’ Scientology? This is pathetic! If Cecil can’t flush out some crazies talking about that, might the battle against ignorance be finally won? No, I didn’t think so, either, but what the heck is going on? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/2 "2007-12-03T22:42:30Z")
They’re at their Winter Meeting deciding their “base causes” for the coming year. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/3 "2007-12-04T00:15:27Z")
Well I for one would like to know if it is true that all the US presidents except for JFK were Masons. There. Happy? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/4 "2007-12-04T12:38:03Z")
As the guy who sorts through Cecil’s mail, I can tell you that we just haven’t got that many crackpot letters recently. The only ones are (1) conspiracy theorists whose idiocies are dealt with on many, many, many websites, or (2) short yes/no answers that won’t fill up a column. He doesn’t make up the incoming letters. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/5 "2007-12-04T15:14:34Z")
[QUOTE=C K Dexter Haven] He doesn’t make up the incoming letters. [/QUOTE] That’s just what you _want_ us to believe! I say he _does_ make them up! Open your eyes, people! RR Just trying to do my part to help out the OP ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/6 "2007-12-04T15:52:32Z")
[QUOTE=C K Dexter Haven] He doesn’t make up the incoming letters. [/QUOTE] I’m shocked you would suggest that that was my suggestion! What I am missing is the flock of loonies that the recent classic columns should have attracted to this board. Going to their home sites is no fun because there’s no one there to slap them down with the sword of reason. Okay, it’s still fun to watch them draw each other to greater heights of lunacy, but it lacks the uppance that should eventually come. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/7 "2007-12-04T15:59:08Z")
I can explain the lack of Freemasonry crackpots - We got 'em all, they’re currently fertilizing our gardens under the pyramid on Mars (except for their eyes which are stacked on top of the pyramid) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/8 "2007-12-04T17:45:43Z")
Shall I describe how I can taste your punctuation? ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/9 "2007-12-04T17:56:39Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Shall I describe how I can taste your punctuation? [/QUOTE] I’m currently in an 11-step program for serial comma abusers, you’re bound to see some residual effects in other areas. ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/10 "2007-12-04T21:22:48Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] Going to their home sites is no fun because there’s no one there to slap them down with the sword of reason. [/QUOTE] Well, that’s your problem right there: you’re looking for someone to put on a slap down with a sword of reason. One slaps with the _fish_ of reason but _stabs_ with the sword of reason. Geesh. ---
**Author:** ![John\_W.Kennedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_w.kennedy/32/1031_2.png) [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2007, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/11 "2007-12-04T23:03:31Z")
There are still the anti-Stratfordians. (news:humanties.lit.authors.shakespeare, which used to be their home, has recently been taken over by a solipsist). ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/12 "2007-12-05T03:25:57Z")
[QUOTE=Humble Servant] One slaps with the _fish_ of reason… [/QUOTE] No, no. That’s the [Salmon of Wisdom](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon_of_Wisdom). If you’re going to be pedantic, be _correctly_ pedantic. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/13 "2007-12-05T03:31:41Z")
Maybe the fight against ignorance if finally making progress? ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/14 "2007-12-05T16:27:43Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] No, no. That’s the [Salmon of Wisdom](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon_of_Wisdom). If you’re going to be pedantic, be _correctly_ pedantic. 😉 [/QUOTE] [dry lawyer’s cough]Ah, but in such happenstance I would point out that we’d appear to be mixing HGTTG/Python metaphors; though I suppose nonetheless thereupon could ensue the rejoinder that we have encountered another exemplar of the Inter-Connectedness of All Things, resulting in much rejoicing.[/dry lawyer’s cough] ---
**Author:** ![CJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@CJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/15 "2007-12-05T17:39:03Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] What I am missing is the flock of loonies that the recent classic columns should have attracted to this board. Going to their home sites is no fun because there’s no one there to slap them down with the sword of reason. Okay, it’s still fun to watch them draw each other to greater heights of lunacy, but it lacks the uppance that should eventually come. [/QUOTE] I know you’re being facetious **dropzone**. However I’ve found with age that these type of battles are no longer fun; they have basically become exercises in humiliation or contests to see who can devise the most clever insult. I’m far more interested in a serious community devoted to discussing questions/topics where I don’t automatically know the answer. “Fighting ignorance” isn’t always an external battle… ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/16 "2007-12-05T17:58:51Z")
Ah, crackpot fads come and go, but Dr. Gene Ray (“a ‘Cubic Thinker’ and far wiser than any god, any scientist, and any educator who preaches the evil singularity of a single 1st corner,”) and his theory of the Time Cube (“EARTH HAS 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE WITHIN SINGLE ROTATION.”) never fails to delight and inform. Witness: _**The 4 quadrant corners of the Earth sphere rotate as a quad spiraling helix - thus creating 4 simultaneous days per each rotation and 4 simultaneous years per 1 orbit around Sun. Greenwich day is of stupidity. Academia and religion are as entities which transgress upon the Cubic values of life unity. Human god has quarter value as 1 human has 1-corner face. Educators are teaching doom. I charge academia, religion, media and government with a criminal act of collusion and conspiracy against children. USA on a path to cannibalism. I plan to sue academic institutions for multi- millions of dollars for their endangering the lives of children through brainwashing and indoctrination stupidity. I am seeking sharp attorney interested in a case that transcends the excitement of the Scopes Monkey Trial.**_ I don’t know what it all means, but when I’m feeling a little down at work I just pull up [TimeCube.com](http://www.timecube.com/) and it reminds me of all the wonder and mystery in the world. (You just have to ignore the occasional nasty anti-Semitic and racist commentary that slips into the pure crazy that is Dr. Gene Ray.) Stranger ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/17 "2007-12-05T18:07:38Z")
[QUOTE=nutjob] I am seeking sharp attorney … [/QUOTE] Well there is his problem, what he is really seeking is a stupid attorney… ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/18 "2007-12-05T20:40:39Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] Well there is his problem, what he is really seeking is a stupid attorney… [/QUOTE] Goodness, no!! A stupid attorney would get laughed out of court! Think how amazingly brilliant an attorney would be who manages to prove the world is square!!! I mean, John Payne only managed to prove that Santa was real, and look how smart HE looked as a result (to say nothing of getting to marry Maureen O’Hara!). ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/19 "2007-12-05T20:53:33Z")
[QUOTE=DSYoungEsq] Goodness, no!! A stupid attorney would get laughed out of court! Think how amazingly brilliant an attorney would be who manages to prove the world is square!!! I mean, John Payne only managed to prove that Santa was real, and look how smart HE looked as a result (to say nothing of getting to marry Maureen O’Hara!). [/QUOTE] Dude, if you have to reach that far for humor it isn’t worth it. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716/20 "2007-12-05T21:02:37Z")
Sorry, **drop** , I certainly didn’t mean to imply that I thought you were implying Cecil would make up his letters. As a member of the Straight Dope Science Advisory Board, you can see the stuff we get in. It’s sadly pretty much devoid of interesting loonies. My comment was intended to be addressed in general, to answer any suspicions or doubts. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-terribly-disappointed-with-the-recent-lack-of-crackpots/428716.md?page=2)