# I'm thinking of giving up on women... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2002, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989 "2002-12-06T19:02:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/21 "2002-12-06T19:39:25Z")
**Res** not that I know anyone is dating in my class, but there is alot at college. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/22 "2002-12-06T19:44:47Z")
I need to get a LiveJournal. (sorry for the \) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/23 "2002-12-06T20:11:44Z")
Wait, **Eve** gave up on men? Damn! Oh, wait, I’m married. Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/24 "2002-12-06T20:20:09Z")
I tried giving up women once. I decided to try reproducing through cell division. So I sat in my bedroom all day, thinking “divide…divide…divide” No luck. Seriously though, when I was 15, I was planning to fly to Texas to visit a girl I knew. Odds are, we were going to have sex. My parents talked to her parents about the trip, and they canceled it. I was rather crushed, and was certain I’d be a permanent virgin, and that my parents set the inevitiable back for years. Actually, the time they set it back was closer to about three weeks. Three weeks after I was supposed to arrive in Texas, I had sex with a girl I knew. Lesson, you never know what’s going to happen next, so don’t give up. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/25 "2002-12-06T20:24:42Z")
But still… I don’t think I’m ever gonna lose my goddamn virginity ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/26 "2002-12-06T20:32:19Z")
Good! More for me! Seriously, Ryan, losing your virginity shouldn’t be marked as a passage into adulthood. There’s no shame in virginity. I didn’t have sex until my early twenties, and then married the girl later (not the same day, you goof!) It’s nothing to rush into just because “everyone else is fooling around.” Trust me, when it happens it’s great, but only when it happens naturally. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/27 "2002-12-06T20:33:40Z")
What do you mean you’ll never lose your virginity? You’re 17! You’ve only been capable of having erections for a few years. You’re being melodramatic. Find one of the “at what age did you lose your virginity” threads on here and you will find that 15 is not the average. You don’t want to be boinking the girls at your school, anyway. In 10 years the difference between virginity at 17 and 20 will be insignificant. ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/28 "2002-12-06T20:49:53Z")
Like everyone said, you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. Relax a bit. And **erictelevision** if you need a livejournal code I can send you one if you’d like. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/29 "2002-12-06T20:58:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ryan\_Liam \* > \*\*It just seems God has laid out a path of celibacy for me… \*\* Some call it “Natural Selection”. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/30 "2002-12-06T21:14:43Z")
I’m still a virgin. I’m not bothered in the least. Now, _little Res_ gets annoyed with that fact every so often, but I keep reassuring him…“Not now, dammit!” ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/31 "2002-12-06T21:37:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*I’m still a virgin. I’m not bothered in the least. > > Now, _little Res_ gets annoyed with that fact every so often, but I keep reassuring him…“Not now, dammit!” \*\* You have a hot girlfriend, though. So it’s not like you’re companionless. BTW, I hear Hello Again is going to make us all go watch TTT with her. I think we should steal yours or her copy of FOTR:EE and hijack Cranky’s living room before this. We can watch it over and over and over and over until Cranky removes us forcibly. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/32 "2002-12-06T21:59:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ryan\_Liam \* > \*\*But still… I don’t think I’m ever gonna lose my goddamn virginity \*\* Neither did I. As recently as August. I gave up on women for a while (about a year, actually) because I was tired of being in the Friend Zone with everyone I knew. Now, roughly three months later, the virgin thing (at least as it applies to sex wif wymmyn) is in my past and marriage is in my future. Best of luck:) ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/33 "2002-12-06T23:20:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ryan\_Liam \* > **…besides no girl has even looked at me for ages and I’m beginning just not to care anymore…** That’s probably your fault…it depends on who are (and what types of girls) do you “look at.” If you look @ shapely girls…get yer ass in shape. If you look @ girls with nice complexions…use lots of soap & water If you look @ girls with nice teeth…keep up on dental hygeine If you look @ athletic girls…join a few teams If you look @ smart girls…go learn If you look @ friendly & outgoing girls…be warm & extroverted If you look @ bookworms…go read at Starbucks or Borders If you look @ girls with big hair & snap their chewing gum…Buy a guinea tee. If you look @ goldiggers…work 3 jobs & get yourself a nice sportscar. If on the other hand, all you’re looking for is a channel on which to gripe & an occasional slice of porn, stay where you are…on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/34 "2002-12-06T23:49:48Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kyla_ > You have a hot girlfriend, though. So it’s not like you’re companionless. > > BTW, I hear Hello Again is going to make us all go watch TTT with her. I think we should steal yours or her copy of FOTR:EE and hijack Cranky’s living room before this. We can watch it over and over and over and over until Cranky removes us forcibly. Ack, I’m going home for Christmas break and I’ll be there until mid-January. Although if you guys want to borrow my copy of FOTR (either edition), I’d be happy to lend it. …would be fun to hijack Cranky’s home, though. ---
**Author:** ![caffeine\_overdose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85e7bf/32.png) [@caffeine\_overdose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caffeine_overdose)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/35 "2002-12-07T00:21:35Z")
Being 18 and not getting ANY type of action until last summer I sympathize with you. In what way are you lacking feminine companionship? I have not had a girl friend since 8th grade so if your looking for one of them I cannot help you. However if your looking for a friend that fucks I can give you some advice. 1. Be kind 2. Be confident 3. Make sure she enjoys anything you two do worst case scenario: become a Jesuit priest ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/36 "2002-12-07T00:37:40Z")
oh sweetie, i’m sort of proud of you though. because what i did when i was at that point in my life was to have casual and meaningless one night stands. and lots of them. doesn’t help. you’ve just started at uni, and you’ll realise that the next year is about YOU. not about being with someone else. get settled in being an independent adult before you start with the relationship stuff. and like everybody else said; chill! they’ll come to you, or you’ll come to them, whatever, when it happens it’ll be fantastic. just don’t do what i did! ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/37 "2002-12-07T01:32:25Z")
Hmmm. First, see yourself as a person with interests, talents, and a future first (not as a guy looking for a lady). That sounds simple, but it is very hard to do. Second, start looking at all other people in terms of their interests, talents and future. See the actual person there rather than initially gaging them as to their kdating potential. (BTW, you might make a lot of friends of all genders this way) Enjoy the journey! Thirdly, allow the natural sorting and selection process to work…that means relax. Hey…I know it is hard. I’ve been in exactly the same place…the ladies are sooooooo desirable, and I wanted them so much. But remember that there is a future, and virtually everyone who really wants a relationship finds one. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![shiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5fc32e/32.png) [@shiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiki)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/38 "2002-12-07T01:39:38Z")
University is where you meet people. LOTS of people. On my end… I happen to have quite a few problems, some physical, mostly mental (okay, it’s not as bad as it sounds, really) and I spent my whole life angsting about how no one wanted me and how I’d never get into a meaningful relationship. One night I decided to completely give up on it. I just wasn’t going to try anymore, and do my damndest not to care. A couple of weeks or so later… I met someone, and now we’re pretty much engaged. It’s her fault I’m on this board, actually. Hi Ava. 😛 The moral? Don’t give it too much thought. Someday, you’ll meet someone, and trying to speed up the process or giving it too much thought is nothing but counterproductive. Let it come when it does. ---
**Author:** ![Gerome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Gerome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gerome)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/39 "2002-12-07T01:41:38Z")
Hey, Ryan\_Liam, I’m 17 too and made a similar decision to give up the chase a few months back. Was tired of being rejected, put down or disappointed by the womenfolk. Haven’t looked back - since then, every guy I know has been in some sort of horrible relationship or breakup that’s left them an empty shell of a person. Personally, I’d prefer to be alone and virginal than brokenhearted and…unvirginal. Is there even a word for that? ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989/40 "2002-12-07T01:48:03Z")
**Ryan,** The proper time to give up on women is many, many years after they have given up on you:D. Seriously, you cannot find love, it has to find you. And you won’t even know it was looking until it’s way too late. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-thinking-of-giving-up-on-women/140989.md?page=3)