# I'm trying so hard not to laugh at this... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967 "2003-01-31T21:49:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/21 "2003-02-01T00:39:06Z")
After the well-publicized incident of[Binky the Polar Bear](http://lalaland.cl.msu.edu/~vanhoose/humor/0155.html) who chomped on a tourist’s leg, it utterly astounds me that anyone could be that damn dumb as to climb a NINE FOOT BARRIER and try to pet a wild animal. Christ, lady, there’s a reason why this cat isn’t in the petting zoo, after all. Personally, I think she got what she deserved. My only hope is that the tiger won’t be put down for doing what comes naturally to a tiger. ---
**Author:** ![raisinbread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@raisinbread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raisinbread)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/22 "2003-02-01T02:08:42Z")
Maybe ten years ago some kids in New York were mauled when they climbed the fence of a polar bear enclosure at night. Sadly the bears were put down. Not so sadly, one of the idiots died and deservedly so. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/23 "2003-02-01T04:01:19Z")
For some of these animals, a human arm appears to toss food into the cage every day. Guess what the lion was thinking. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/24 "2003-02-01T04:03:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GusNSpot \* > \*\*Me and my [kitty](http://fff.fathom.org/pages/gusnspot/tiger.JPG) friend. \*\* Wow. Where do I get a job doing THAT? ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/25 "2003-02-01T05:10:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FranticMad \* > \*\*Wow. Where do I get a job doing THAT? \*\* Animal rescue with the 'Safari" kind of places. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/26 "2003-02-01T05:30:42Z")
My cousin Angie (then aged 3) managed to squeeze through the polar bear cage bars at Brookfield Zoo in Illinois in, oh, about 1970? Thankfully, an alert zoo-guy was able to reach in and snag her out before anything untoward happened. This was in the days before moats, obviously. I, for one, am very glad they keep the animals out of reach. Intellectually, I know a tiger would kill me in an instant. But there’s a big part of me that really wants to pet the pretty kitty. ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/27 "2003-02-01T06:17:40Z")
Even when the zoo beast in question isn’t a fierce one, you run risks touching them . . . When I was about ten and my sister was eight, we were at the local zoo. My sister offered a peanut to a gentle elephant, who extended her trunk to take it– –and suddenly sneezed. Eeuuww! My mom had to trot my sister off to the ladies’ room and wash her whole arm. I can still recall the expression on my sister’s face: it was very like Edvard Munch’s painting of THE SCREAM, only she didn’t clap her hands to the sides of her head, of course. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/28 "2003-02-01T06:27:21Z")
I’m in agreement with the kitty-petting mentality. I know they’re huge predatorial cats, and will tear me to shreds in a heartbeat, but they’re still big kitties, and I want to pet them. Desire to maintain my appendages outweighs the former stated kitty petting desire. ---
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/29 "2003-02-01T09:19:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > \*\*Knead > The only person I know to have been pissed on by a lion and lived to tell about it. \*\* C’mon! Tell us already! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/30 "2003-02-01T15:55:22Z")
Well, there’s not much to tell. Greenville Zoo, Greenville, SC. Lion in cage, me standing nearby. Lion got up, started turning around, I was curious as to what he was doing, and very soon found out that lions can shoot a stream of big-cat whiz an amazing distance, about 10-15 feet in this case. More or less straight back, no less. But still, it makes a nifty tag line. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jerrybear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8c91f0/32.png) [@Jerrybear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jerrybear)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/31 "2003-02-01T16:31:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > \*\*Lions will sho-nuff mess you up. > > \*\* Well, unless you are talking about the so-called professional football team from Detroit. Those Lions are not capable of messing anybody up. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/32 "2003-02-01T16:38:09Z")
I was in a zoo in France once, and spotted a girl sitting in an enclosure with a mother and kitten cheetah. A sign on the enclosure explained that the girl and her family lived in the Kongo for most of their lives, and the mother cheetah was sort of a pet, in that it hung around their house, ate on their porch, et cetera. When the family moved back to France, the cheetah was doing badly. It couldn’t cope in the wild anymore. So the girl got a job in the zoo, and arranged for a cheetah cage. The cheetah was flown over, lived happily with her personal feeder right there every day. Then she got a little baby, too. So, there I was, standing next to this enclosure, looking at the girl and the two cheetahs. The girl waved, and asked if I wanted to come in. After she assured me it was OK (a cheetah ain’t no lion, and while it might mess you up, it can’t really kill you - or so she said anyway), I went in. I was to leave the mother alone, but I could play with the baby cheetah all I wanted. It was really cool! About the size of a big house cat - it was 3 months old or so. The mother cheetah just lazed about in the shade, some 5 meters away, and seemed OK with the fact that I played with her kitty. Probably because she trusted the girl so much. Anyways, there you go: I petted a predator and lived. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DarbyV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@DarbyV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarbyV)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/33 "2003-02-01T16:41:23Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* \*\*Well, there’s not much to tell. Greenville Zoo, Greenville, SC. Lion in cage, me standing nearby. Lion got up, started turning around, I was curious as to what he was doing, and very soon found out that lions can shoot a stream of big-cat whiz an amazing distance, about 10-15 feet in this case. More or less straight back, no less. Wow, Knead. I’m in Greenville and I think I know that Lion. How long ago was that cause the same thing happened to my mom when I was a kid. Early 80’s maybe? ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/34 "2003-02-01T18:28:18Z")
There was a zoo-type animal refuge place in St. Charles, Illinois, that was home to a variety of exotic animals (including something I’d never seen before, a liger - this is a lion/tiger crossbreed, if you can imagine. Very big kitty.) Anyhow, they had baby tigers there for awhile, and I got to hold one. They’re very much like housecats at that age, although they’re much more prone to bite down on you and their claws are significantly stronger than your average housecat’s. I was not too happy with this place because I thought it was maintained as a curiosity for human gawkers, rather than as a real refuge for wild animals… although that didn’t stop me from taking advantage of the opportunity to hold a baby tiger. As it turned out, the place closed when its owner was arrested for conspiracy to murder his wife, but that’s a whole 'nother story. ---
**Author:** ![Leifsmama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@Leifsmama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leifsmama)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/35 "2003-02-01T18:31:00Z")
**LifeOnWry** Where was this? I spent the first 18 years of my life in St. Charles and go back frequently, and have never heard of such a place. Really curious. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/36 "2003-02-01T18:33:04Z")
It was called Land O’ Lorin and it was right off Randall Road, behind a shopping center. The owner’s name was, naturally, Lorin, although I can’t recall his first name. There are probably a bazillion stories about him in the Elgin Courier News archives - the story was a real big deal about 5-6 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Leifsmama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@Leifsmama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leifsmama)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/37 "2003-02-01T18:35:12Z")
Thanks. I’ve heard of the place, but I always thought that it was just a petting zoo, goats and ducks and stuff. The stuff you miss when you’re away! ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/38 "2003-02-01T18:39:15Z")
I almost got my eyeball taken out by an ox’s horn there, too. They had that sucker in a metal pen, and he could stick his head right out. He happened to stick his head out just as I turned to face him and I got nailed about a millimeter away from my eyeball. I was really glad they shut it down - the place was dangerous and filthy - but I will admit I miss the liger. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/39 "2003-02-01T19:24:14Z")
Hey, **KneadToKnow** , I got pissed on by a lion, too. Exactly the same scenario as you, too, only it was at the Kansas City, MO, Zoo, before they redid all the big cat habitats. On another trip to the Zoo, I went up to the tiger’s cage (again, before the big cat habitats were redone), which had a little indoor house for the tiger to go into. The house had a big round window where you could see the tiger inside. The tiger was right next to the window, and I put my hand on the glass, and the tiger licked the glass where my hand was. I must have spent 15 minutes moving my hand over the glass, with the tiger licking the glass where ever my hand was. Pretty damn cool. I must have been about 5 or 6. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967/40 "2003-02-02T00:46:33Z")
I went to the zoo when I was young, with my parents. We were watching a trainer leading a small elephant past us, when some wally startled the animal. :wally The elephant stepped backwards - onto my foot. :eek: Although it weighed about a ton, it didn’t hurt (big feet spread the weight). My Mum was more upset than me! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-so-hard-not-to-laugh-at-this/151967.md?page=3)