# I'm TRYING to hate her, but god help me I think she's hot. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 23, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722 "2006-07-23T17:30:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/81 "2006-07-25T18:12:26Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Every response I can think of to that remark (except for this one) is egregiously sexist, chauvinistically objectifying, and generally Neanderthalic, so I’m going to just whistle. [/QUOTE] We’re talking about wanting to fuck hot women we can’t stand…because they’re hot. “Decorum” went out the hatch a long time ago, fellow lecher. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/82 "2006-07-25T18:17:21Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Since when is Campbell Brown a pundit? [/QUOTE] Maybe not, but definitely satisfies the second requirement to be in this thread. One of my major newsbabe crushes. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/83 "2006-07-25T18:22:09Z")
[QUOTE=Loopydude] We’re talking about wanting to fuck hot women we can’t stand…because they’re hot. “Decorum” went out the hatch a long time ago, fellow lecher. [/QUOTE] Yes, but I LIKE Campbell Brown, so I’d never say anything as cruel about her as I would about Ann Coulter. > [@Robot Arm](#): > > > [@Skald the Rhymer](#): > > > > Since when is Campbell Brown a pundit? > > Maybe not, but definitely satisfies the second requirement to be in this thread. One of my major newsbabe crushes. No the requirements are that you want her/him even though you know she/he is scum, or stupid, or stupid scum. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/84 "2006-07-25T18:33:00Z")
[QUOTE=Clockwork And Candy] Whew. Finally someone says it. I didn’t want to be the first one. The size of her hands is the stuff of nightmares, though. Seriously… it’s almost like some bizarre defect. : [/QUOTE] For the most part Coulter is an unperson to me, but– –I’ve always had the unfounded, nasty suspicion that she’s a tranny. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/85 "2006-07-25T18:52:35Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] No the requirements are that you want her/him even though you know she/he is scum, or stupid, or stupid scum. [/QUOTE] Well, that was the original question for the thread, but if there’s a slight hijack to mention DDG women who _aren’t_ bubbleheaded or evil, I can live with that. ---
**Author:** ![harrylentil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/53a042/32.png) [@harrylentil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harrylentil)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/86 "2006-07-26T00:42:38Z")
I’m surprised no-one has mentioned Naiomi Campbell. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/87 "2006-07-26T01:31:22Z")
[QUOTE=harrylentil] I’m surprised no-one has mentioned Naiomi Campbell. [/QUOTE] The only thing I know about Naomi Campbell is how to spell her name. What’s wrong with her? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/88 "2006-07-26T01:41:54Z")
I’ve got a very strong opinion on this topic. I can’t post it right this second, but I can tell you kids to sit around and look giddy while you wait for me to come back and post with reckless abandon. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/89 "2006-07-26T02:00:09Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] The only thing I know about Naomi Campbell is how to spell her name. What’s wrong with her? [/QUOTE] Just little things like vandalism and assault: [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001984/news](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001984/news) ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/90 "2006-07-26T02:36:03Z")
OK, I have something to contribute to this. My ldest daughter is about 5 years behind the Olsen twins in age, and so she followed them pretty closely through her pre-teen years, which meant my constant exposure to the horror that is (was) **Full House**. I immediately came to hate everything associated with that show, not that that was difficult in anyway. The monkey faced twins, the lame Canadian guy, the guy (who I understand is 180 degrees removed from his TV roles) who did “Funniest Videos”, the mullet guy, all of them. Just tonight I was alerted by the same daughter (since healed) of a show on some high numbered channel called “Summerland”. The old wife of mullett guy was a featured character, and holy crap! She is my age, and completely hot, even though she has that Dick Clark incapacity to age thing going on. The collision of emotions in my gut nearly floored me. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/91 "2006-07-26T04:10:48Z")
Now, I love me petites. If I can be picky, I’ll take one of them. Paris Hilton would get her face fucked not to get off, but just to simply shut her up. Spackling her tonsils with my hot man chowder is only an extra. Halle Berry. Halle Berry? Someone would be ashamed to bonk the snot out of her? I’d fuck her tits off and brag about it to EVERY guy I saw for the rest of my life. I’d eat yogurt out of that woman’s ass. Even with sprinkles. I hate sprinkles. Make me feel goooooooodddd! Maaaaaake me feel goooood! I’m working on it, sweetheart! As for Kelly Ripa. She’d catch it in the ass. That gay ass stain pen commercial is annoying, but I deduce from that commercial that she’s a screamer. I figure if I take a running start at her, she’ll yelp loud enough to wake the neighbors up down the block thereby alerting the rest of her zip code about my prowess in the sack. She lives in a rich zip code or so I’d think. That’s a plus. Britney? Back in the day, she was the it girl. As we’ve already seen, she was mighty fine. She’s a wreck now and a complete attention whore, but I’d drain my testicles on her cleavage. Naomi Campbell would be pretty fierce in the sack as well, I think. Insert Shannen Doherty in this file, please. Tyra Banks, I’ve heard, is a complete train wreck without her makeup. Doesn’t matter. She’d get the business too. I’d knock it out with extreme prejudice. Put Pam Anderson in this category as well. I’d have to double bag it and use one of those old garbage bag tie closures around the base to make sure the hepatitis c didn’t infiltrate the fortress of manhood that is my mighty wang. Ann Coulter. Um. When I look at “her”, I don’t even think ANYTHING sexual, where with Paris, I’d at least wonder what her birdlike nose would look covered in my spunk. The Olsen Twins were cute for a little while. They’re simply collectible and notches on bedposts as far as I’m concerned now. Tiffany Amber-Theisen was so pretty back in her Saved By the Bell days. Then, it looks like someone jammed some compressed ear into one of her ears (and plugged up the other ear to stop air leaks) and inflated her noggin to Sputnik-like proportions. I wouldn’t spare the rod when it came to Jenna Elfman. I’d try to fuck the brains back INTO her so we can get rid of all this Scientology nonsense. Either that or she just doesn’t get to talk afterwards. If she wants to give money, we can name my ovarian cue stick “Scientology” and she can just make the check payable to moi. Jennifer Love Hewitt? She (along with Mariah Carey, who I’d impale) is one of those girls who, if you mention to a female that you think she’s pretty, the female bares the claws and starts naming off her “flaws”. This could be another thread very soon. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/92 "2006-07-26T04:11:52Z")
I’m either being Pitted of going to hell after that post. The possibility is there for both. Then again, there’s also possibility that I’ll hear from people on the “Chatting With Dopers!” thread in MSPIMS. I go to bed now. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/93 "2006-07-26T05:28:48Z")
I see a bright future in porn screenplays for _you_. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/94 "2006-07-26T09:36:08Z")
[QUOTE=Loopydude] I see a bright future in porn screenplays for _you_. [/QUOTE] Heh. Yeah, that was some pretty raw stuff there, no? And I’m not talking about what it is afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/95 "2006-07-26T10:01:52Z")
[QUOTE=Krokodil] Esquire magazine’s annual “Women We Love” issue has one page in it featuring “Women we’re ashamed to love.” Condoleezza Rice and **Natalie Merchant** are two favorites of mine from there. [/QUOTE] The Hell? Why? Dear God, Why? I’d KILL to be the man who is with Natalie Merchant. Why would anyone be ashamed to love her? ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/96 "2006-07-26T13:42:01Z")
[QUOTE=MrDibble] The Hell? Why? Dear God, Why? I’d KILL to be the man who is with Natalie Merchant. Why would anyone be ashamed to love her? [/QUOTE] She’s all yours. I don’t want to get a flame war going, so I’ll just say that Natalie, while possessing a decent vocal instrument, tends to sing the equivalent of alt-easy listening music…meh and bleh. Beyond that, I would have to go with many, many of the entries here. In common conversation, I refer to women who fit this category as “train wrecks” or “car accidents” - you don’t want to, but, as a Man, you are hard-wired so you can’t NOT look - you just gotta… ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/97 "2006-07-26T13:42:45Z")
[QUOTE=Lamar Mundane] Just tonight I was alerted by the same daughter (since healed) of a show on some high numbered channel called “Summerland”. The old wife of mullett guy was a featured character, and holy crap! She is my age, and completely hot, even though she has that Dick Clark incapacity to age thing going on. The collision of emotions in my gut nearly floored me. [/QUOTE] Lori Loughlin? She’s been smokin’ for YEARS! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/98 "2006-07-26T14:00:55Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] The only thing I know about Naomi Campbell is how to spell her name. What’s wrong with her? [/QUOTE] [Eric Cartman] _Naomi Campbell’s a bitch, she’s big fat bitch, She’s the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. Have oyu ever met my friend Naomi Campbell, She’s a bitch to all the boys and girls._[/Eric Cartman] ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Broken\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Wind)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/99 "2006-07-26T14:55:02Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] \Spackling her tonsils with my hot man chowder\ [/QUOTE] I have a new catch phrase! Thank you for that! ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/100 "2006-07-26T15:18:08Z")
[QUOTE=RTFirefly] Michelle Malkin, OTOH, would be just fine, as long as the only talking she did would be to beg me to do whatever it was I wanted to do with her next, and to thank me for it afterwards. [/QUOTE] I will third the nomination of the lovely but hateable [Malkin](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://exposetheleft.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/02/malkincheney.JPG&imgrefurl=http://www.exposetheleft.com/wp-mobile.php%3Fp%3D4351%26more%3D1&h=240&w=320&sz=14&hl=en&start=7&tbnid=jx4uCFLNKMbYHM:&tbnh=89&tbnw=118&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522michelle%2Bmalkin%2522%2B%252B%2Bfox%2Bnews%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN) and throw in Fox News’ gorgeous but Fascist [Juliet Huddy](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,1216,00.html). In the imaginary category I nominate _Law & Order’s_ former assistant DA Abbie “Give 'em the death chair for parking tickets” Carmichael as played by [Angie Harmon](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angie_Harmon) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722.md?page=6)