# I'm TRYING to hate her, but god help me I think she's hot. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 23, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722 "2006-07-23T17:30:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/101 "2006-07-26T16:31:49Z")
I’ve got to sheepishly third [Eminem,](http://www.fond-ecran.net/fonds/eminem_002.jpg) whose persona is so completely off-putting, but I suspect could be a fascinating and intelligent guy who’s just putting us on (a la Marilyn Manson), so he’s only conditionally on the list. Unconditionally, though, is (goddess help me) [Ashton Kutcher.](http://www.spunkys.curvedspaces.com/Superstars/ashton_kutcher/images/ak125.jpg) I’ve seen no evidence that he has a socially redeeming bone in his body. He’s crass and vulgar and mean to his friends on national television. He’s a stupid frat boy to the nth degree. But goddam if I wouldn’t love a few hours with those abs. And those lips. And a ball gag, so he couldn’t speak. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/102 "2006-07-26T21:18:42Z")
[QUOTE=Broken Wind] I have a new catch phrase! Thank you for that! [/QUOTE] I’ve got TONS of em. I am the Official Dope Pervert and Arbiter of Odd Sexual Practices and Phrases. Just call me “ODP” for short. Maybe even “Old Dirty Pervert”. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/103 "2006-07-26T21:21:05Z")
I think I’m trying to inadvertently talk my way onto this list, now that I’m looking at it. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/104 "2006-07-26T21:39:49Z")
She’s got that raspy, whispery voice that I think would drive me crazy (and not in the good way) after about 5 minutes of conversation but, by OG, this woman is hot. No, I’m not talking about Melanie Griffith. All hail the Goddess of Cleavage Jennifer Tilly ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/105 "2006-07-26T21:47:20Z")
I love girls with raspy voices. It makes me think of only one thing: “Wow, I bet they’re done screaming now.” ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/106 "2006-07-26T21:54:25Z")
Some have conjectured the appeal of the raspy voice is its prevalence among the more enthusiastically vocal female partners in the sex act post coitus. IOW, it’s the fresh-fucked sound of a screamer. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/107 "2006-07-26T22:12:08Z")
I can deal with raspy after-the-act. I can’t deal with raspy when going over financing options on my home, or arguing that we _can_ find a cheaper nursing home in which to shove the in-laws. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/108 "2006-07-27T21:34:24Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] She’s all yours. I don’t want to get a flame war going, so I’ll just say that Natalie, while possessing a decent vocal instrument, tends to sing the equivalent of alt-easy listening music…meh and bleh. [/QUOTE] Yeah, OK, that’s your opinion (I don’t agree, but that’s cool) - but what does that have to do with [how](http://www.associatedentertainment.com/aec/images/main/Natalie-Merchant.jpg)[hot](http://cottageviews.com/album%20covers/Natalie%20Merchant%20-%20Motherland.jpg)[she](http://www.edmontonfolkfest.org/004.performers/004-01.pastyears/2004/2004-images/004-merchant_natalie.jpg)[is](http://photo.sing365.com/music/Image.nsf/Natalie-Merchant-image/E24EDEF21D41076548256E1D002C8B9F/$file/natalie1.jpg) ? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/109 "2006-07-27T21:36:36Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] She’s all yours. I don’t want to get a flame war going, so I’ll just say that Natalie, while possessing a decent vocal instrument, tends to sing the equivalent of alt-easy listening music…meh and bleh. [/QUOTE] Yeah, OK, that’s your opinion (I don’t agree, but that’s cool) - but what does that have to do with [how](http://www.associatedentertainment.com/aec/images/main/Natalie-Merchant.jpg)[hot](http://cottageviews.com/album%20covers/Natalie%20Merchant%20-%20Motherland.jpg)[she](http://www.edmontonfolkfest.org/004.performers/004-01.pastyears/2004/2004-images/004-merchant_natalie.jpg)[is](http://photo.sing365.com/music/Image.nsf/Natalie-Merchant-image/E24EDEF21D41076548256E1D002C8B9F/$file/natalie1.jpg) ? Even if you don’t like brunettes, putting her anywhere near the same category as Condoleeza Rice is all kinds of just fucked up. Rice looks like something Dr Seuss drew, FFS! ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/110 "2006-07-28T00:44:57Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] \ I have this sinking feeling that she could only enjoy herself by muttering “Eek! I’m being raped by a nigger!” throughout the process. [/QUOTE] 😃 Yet it seems like that alone would make all that worthwhile. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/111 "2006-07-28T04:42:05Z")
[QUOTE=Salt Seller] Paris Hilton? If the soulless, blank-eyed stare of a wax dummy does it for you, be my guest. She’s the only person I’ve ever seen who already looks like her Madame Toussard’s counterpart. [/QUOTE] Word. She was on the cover of some magazine recently, looking exactly like a mannequin. You could probably order something off the Internet and get 95% of the Paris Hilton Experience. Hell, it’d probably be better. > [@WordMan](#): > > She’s all yours. I don’t want to get a flame war going, so I’ll just say that Natalie, while possessing a decent vocal instrument, tends to sing the equivalent of alt-easy listening music…meh and bleh. Superfically, perhaps. A lot of her lyrics tell a pretty bleak tale, though. > [@"Life Is Sweet"](#): > > Oh, your daddy > He’s the iron man > Battleship wrecked on dry land > Your mamma > She’s a bitter bride > She’ll never be satisfied > Do you know? > And that’s not right > > But don’t cry > You know the tears will do no good > So dry your eyes > > Oh, they told you life is hard > Misery from the start > It’s dull > It’s slow > It’s painful ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/112 "2006-07-28T16:39:50Z")
Not to beat a dead horse, but don’t forget that Paris’s looks are store-bought. So of course she looks like a mannequin. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/113 "2006-07-28T21:05:29Z")
I’d agree with many on this list, so I’ve tried my hardest and come up with a few that nobody has mentioned yet:[ul][_] **Kathy Ireland** and **Denise Austin** - Both of these women are physically gorgeous, but the squeaky-squeak shrill voices just turned me off immediately - Ireland when she appeared in the film Necessary Roughness, and Austin on an exercise video I bought when I thought I could use some professional advice on toning my abs.[_] **Janine Lindemulder** - By an amazing coincidence, she fits in the same category as Pamela Anderson, and her cinematic tryst with one of the Motley Crue guys (I forget whom) eerily emulates the direct-to-video excitement of Pam and Tommy’s adventures. Good looks and smoking career history aside, she seemed like she hadn’t matured since junior high; her choice of where to get tattoos makes me wonder “why?” and I can’t help but wonder what her son (he should be about 12-14 years old by now) thinks of her resume. **Alanis Morissette** - I don’t really care for her music, and I’ve always thought of her as someone who tried to make a buck by displaying overblown angst and made-up “attitude” - or at least she was complacent as record-company executives paid her to do this. Still, she’s definitely hittable.[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/114 "2006-07-28T21:09:11Z")
[QUOTE=Dogzilla] 😃 Yet it seems like that alone would make all that worthwhile. [/QUOTE] No, no, you’re mistaking me for the OTHER Rhymer brother. It’s BARD the Rhymer who likes being called “nigger” in bed. I prefer “Daddy.” ---
**Author:** ![Constipated\_Mathematician](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5fc32e/32.png) [@Constipated\_Mathematician](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Constipated_Mathematician)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/115 "2006-07-28T22:01:59Z")
\*\*Gina Gershon \*\* - I just like her. She’s dirty. **Paris Hilton** - (I’m not sorry) \*\*Jennifer Love Hewitt \*\* - What’s not to like? (when she’s not speaking, I mean). Is she married? Dating? I never hear anything about her. Maybe she’s doing a ghost. \*\*Brittany Murphy \*\* - She’s so, something… tiny, cute, dumb sounding… But those big doe eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/116 "2006-07-29T00:14:06Z")
Scary Florida pol [Katherine Harris](http://archives.cnn.com/2000/ALLPOLITICS/stories/11/27/presidential.election/link.katherine.harris.ap.jpg). Sure, she’s about 9 kinds of crazy and her [face](http://images.usatoday.com/news/_photos/2005/06/07/harris-inside.jpg) and [body](http://www.bigeddieradio.com/data/upfiles/news/Katherine%20Harris%20on%20Horse.jpg) appear to be mostly plastic, but she positively sizzles with a deeply repressed kind of [sexual energy](http://www.pensitoreview.com/images/photo-katherine-harris-reporter.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/117 "2006-07-29T01:26:33Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] Scary Florida pol [Katherine Harris](http://archives.cnn.com/2000/ALLPOLITICS/stories/11/27/presidential.election/link.katherine.harris.ap.jpg). Sure, she’s about 9 kinds of crazy and her [face](http://images.usatoday.com/news/_photos/2005/06/07/harris-inside.jpg) and [body](http://www.bigeddieradio.com/data/upfiles/news/Katherine%20Harris%20on%20Horse.jpg) appear to be mostly plastic, but she positively sizzles with a deeply repressed kind of [sexual energy](http://www.pensitoreview.com/images/photo-katherine-harris-reporter.jpg). [/QUOTE] Og help me, she’s shown up in a lot of my women-in-prison fantasies – just not sexual ones. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/118 "2006-07-29T03:37:06Z")
[QUOTE=psiekier] I’d agree with many on this list, so I’ve tried my hardest and come up with a few that nobody has mentioned yet:[ul][li] **Kathy Ireland** and **Denise Austin** - Both of these women are physically gorgeous, but the squeaky-squeak shrill voices just turned me off immediately - Ireland when she appeared in the film _Necessary Roughness_, and Austin on an exercise video I bought when I thought I could use some professional advice on toning my abs.[_] **Janine Lindemulder** - By an amazing coincidence, she fits in the same category as Pamela Anderson, and her cinematic tryst with one of the Motley Crue guys (I forget whom) eerily emulates the direct-to-video excitement of Pam and Tommy’s adventures. Good looks and smoking career history aside, she seemed like she hadn’t matured since junior high; her choice of where to get tattoos makes me wonder “why?” and I can’t help but wonder what her son (he should be about 12-14 years old by now) thinks of her resume.[_] **Alanis Morissette** - I don’t really care for her music, and I’ve always thought of her as someone who tried to make a buck by displaying overblown angst and made-up “attitude” - or at least she was complacent as record-company executives paid her to do this. Still, she’s definitely hittable.[/ul][/li][/QUOTE] I’m very much with you on the Kathy Ireland and Janine Lindemulder bandwagons. I’d slap Janine’s titties around like twin speedbags. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/119 "2006-07-29T03:42:41Z")
Brittany Murphy is…I dunno. Sometimes I see her and think “uh huh”, and yet others, I see her and think “bad penis! what were you thinking!!!” I just saw an interview with her on a late night talk show very recently and was very much in the “I wish to tear her asunder with my schwang” camp. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722/120 "2006-08-01T15:07:43Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] Scary Florida pol [Katherine Harris](http://archives.cnn.com/2000/ALLPOLITICS/stories/11/27/presidential.election/link.katherine.harris.ap.jpg). Sure, she’s about 9 kinds of crazy and her [face](http://images.usatoday.com/news/_photos/2005/06/07/harris-inside.jpg) and [body](http://www.bigeddieradio.com/data/upfiles/news/Katherine%20Harris%20on%20Horse.jpg) appear to be mostly plastic, but she positively sizzles with a deeply repressed kind of [sexual energy](http://www.pensitoreview.com/images/photo-katherine-harris-reporter.jpg). [/QUOTE] Yeah she’s a perfect example. You just know she’s a wildcat. She’d probably beat you and ride you and beg for more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-trying-to-hate-her-but-god-help-me-i-think-shes-hot/365722.md?page=7)