# I'm your loveable, but ignorant aunt.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450 "2003-04-22T23:41:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/1 "2003-04-22T23:41:21Z")
That’s what I feel is my role in the SDMB family. So, what’s your role? BTW, anybody who wants to take over my role is welcome to it. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/2 "2003-04-23T00:31:12Z")
I’m the slightly mysterious spinster/career gal aunt – I don’t think we’re from the same side of the family, though. Pleased to meet you. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/3 "2003-04-23T00:33:36Z")
(The above might make more sense if I explained I’m watching **Far from Heaven** right now.) ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/4 "2003-04-23T00:56:23Z")
I’m the neighbor who stops by unannounced. She makes the occasional witticism, and she’s got a lot of trivial knowledge, but she doesn’t really add much to the conversation. She’s a bit too loud and a lot too nosy, and she always overstays her welcome a bit. If she broke her leg or her cat died, you’d take dinner over to her, but even so on most days you feel awfully glad when she waves by and walks back over to her own damn house. She does have a nice bed of daylilies in front of her house, though. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/5 "2003-04-23T01:04:39Z")
I’m the neighbor who always chats with you over the fence or driveway or across the street. Likely to borrow your ladder or hedge clippers, but returns them in good condition, albeit a little later than you’d have liked. Good to share a beer with, whether your beer or mine, but maybe a little to flirty with your wife _and_ your daughter. Still, a guy you’d trust to take in your mail while you were on vacation. ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/6 "2003-04-23T01:14:23Z")
I am the distant cousin who people rarely recognize when I show up at the family reunion. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/7 "2003-04-23T01:35:38Z")
I’m the quiet neighbor who doesn’t mow his yard often enough, plays music too loud and is always coming and going at odd hours. I’m watching that sweet little auntie next door with the bodacious booty. Keeping my eye on her. Yes I am. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/8 "2003-04-23T02:17:17Z")
I’m the newcomer in the neighborhood who doesn’t really know yet whose yard to keep her cat out of and how late she should wait go yell about the too-loud music coming from **astro’s** place. I’m the one who’s willing to go out at 3:00 a.m. to yell at the neighborhood nuisance family for shooting off fireworks and waking everyone up. I’m friendly but short-tempered. And I keep my lawn mowed. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/9 "2003-04-23T02:32:14Z")
I’m the one who is writing a book about alll of you and your shocking secrets will be exposed and I’ll make a million dollars and move away. ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/10 "2003-04-23T02:35:04Z")
I’m the standard-issue sitcom teenager of the family. Generally a background character, but appearances are frequent. I’m usually just passing through, making wisecracks about everything that happens, and occasionally I get brought to the foreground and become the center of a Very Special Episode. LC ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/11 "2003-04-23T02:37:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by butrscotch \* > \*\*I’m the newcomer in the neighborhood who doesn’t really know yet whose yard to keep her cat out of and how late she should wait go yell about the too-loud music coming from **astro’s** place. I’m the one who’s willing to go out at 3:00 a.m. to yell at the neighborhood nuisance family for shooting off fireworks and waking everyone up. I’m friendly but short-tempered. And I keep my lawn mowed. \*\* Well… after that time last week when you showed up on my doorstep at 1:30 in the morning in that cute little flannel nightie and those adorable bunny slippers, all pissed off like a sizzling firecracker ready to blow. The music got turned down, but the volume in my heart got pumped up! But how to get back in your good graces? Maybe a peace offering … but what? Some of my home made walnut banana bread? _Yeaah_ that’s the ticket! Chicks dig baked goods. ---
**Author:** ![Cooler\_of\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@Cooler\_of\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cooler_of_Death)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/12 "2003-04-23T02:41:48Z")
I’m new, but I fear I’ve already been horribly typecast as a “verbose threadkiller.” I just hope I entertain someone besides myself along the way… _hits thread from behind with frozen re-usable ice pack_ Die thread, die! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/13 "2003-04-23T02:45:49Z")
I’m that goofy cousin. Y’know. The one that everyone says “She’s nice and all, but sometimes, I really wonder about her. I know she means well, but…you know…I just don’t think she’s quite all there.” ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/14 "2003-04-23T03:12:13Z")
I’m that other cousin that nobody remembers when I show up at the family reunion. We’ll get along fine and have good conversation for the duration of the reunion, then I’ll send you a Christmas card and you’ll go. . . “Who IS that?” I live waaaaaaaaaaaay over there on the other side of town, and when we pass in our cars, we rarely wave. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/15 "2003-04-23T04:02:32Z")
If all you cousins only show up at reunions, whose going to check in on me to make sure I haven’t been eaten by my cats? What if I forget to clip my toenails and I hurt somebody? What if I decide to take a stroll wearing nothing but a dimwitted smile? Maybe I’ll invite that nice neighbor boy **astro** over for dinner. Now if I could just remember how to turn the stove on. ---
**Author:** ![Latch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@Latch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latch)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/16 "2003-04-23T04:05:57Z")
I’m the kid from down the street that moved in not too long ago. You’ve seen me a few times, and every now and then I add to the conversation, but mostly I enjoy from afar. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/17 "2003-04-23T04:15:43Z")
I’m the unfamiliar person at the family reunion, whom everybody assumes is related to/married to somebody else, when in reality I’m just some random stranger who snuck in to steal food from the potluck table. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/18 "2003-04-23T04:38:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*I’m that goofy cousin. > > Y’know. The one that everyone says “She’s nice and all, but sometimes, I really wonder about her. I know she means well, but…you know…I just don’t think she’s quite all there.” \*\* Hey, wanted to be the wifty cousin. But seeing as I’m not only “not all there,” but probably on my way to senility, I’ll settle for the Granny, who rocks on the front porch - with the lilacs, the hummingbird feeders, vague fears about fluoridation, a shotgun under her knitting and way too many critters. I just came from the Pit where I learned that Coldfire was _born_ the year I got _married_. Grandma, it is. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/19 "2003-04-23T04:52:23Z")
I’m the alienated and not-very-talkative computer person, the details of whose job description have never quite been understood by anyone else. I carry a ragged sketchbook but never seem to finish anything in it. I have few social skills and no success on the dancefloor, and am therefore secretly a little jealous of those here who just announced their engagement. I hang around next to the buffet table and eat all the raw veggies because I can’t stand the “sandwiches”. Eventually I end up playing on the floor with the kids, the Legos, and the carpet-size Snakes-and-Ladders game, because it’s so much more fun than schmoozing. ---
**Author:** ![Tommyturtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Tommyturtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommyturtle)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450/20 "2003-04-23T05:15:50Z")
Oh goody no one chose the “He SEEMED nice and quiet but who would of thunk it he had all those bodies in the basement?” guy Fits me to a T [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-your-loveable-but-ignorant-aunt/170450.md?page=2)