Images of England (non English dopers)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I’ve always pictured myself enjoying a day in the English countryside (well, trying to, but it’s cloudy and a bit cold, so it’s not easy). There’s a low stone wall beside the road, and some sheep grazing in the hilly field beyond. I meet a sturdily-built older woman wearing a tweed blazer over a wool jumper and skirt and sensible shoes walking her Corgis. She lives in a stone country house (not a mansion, but not a cottage), been in the family for ages, drafty as hell and rather dark, but dignified. Fireplace in every room. She’s got a few neighbors who have thatched roofs. Once she gets done walking the dogs she’ll be having some tea & scones with lemon curd.

I never picture much else.

22

Bloody hell, do you have to bring this into to absolutely everything?

This might not be a popular opinion, but we don’t have to start talking about the war in every sodding thread. It is really starting to get on my nerves now.

23

amanset, this one’s for you…
[Basil Fawlty]Don’t mention the war…[/Basil Fawlty]

Boscibo - I don’t live in a cottage (suburban end-terrace house), but I do have a brick - walled garden with Delphiniums, Hollyhocks and Foxgloves. No cobblestone path thoough (concrete). I don’t wear dresses or straw hats to workk in though & I do get dirty. Sorry.

24

Well, you started it!

No, we didn’t!

Yes you did; you invaded Poland!

25

:rolleyes: [Barbara Cartland]

  1. Everybody is a descendant of Queen Victoria.
  2. All the women remain virgins till married.
  3. Everybody is bound to inherits somebody’s fortune sooner or later.
  4. Tea at 17:00 everyday.
  5. Every men is a perfect English gentleman (as oppossed to what?).
  6. All English men are tall and handsome (not to mention the cute but hard to understand accent that makes everything they say seem intelligent).
    [/Barbara Cartland]

Ok, Ok, I read B. Cartland once or twice. I was young, I needed the money. Who are you to judge me?! :mad:

26

Ummmmm, kind of like Canada but not as much fun?

27

And I always thought that Los Angeles was in California. Now you’re telling me that it’s in England? I knew I should have paid attention in my geography class.

28

Which island do you mean? Wight? Lundy?

It’s hard enough explaining to foreigners that they should not refer to Britain as “England” without British people making the same mistake. I realise that you are specifically asking about England, though, and that it was just a passing remark.

29

I live in London, so obviously I spend my leisure time as a pearly king having knees ups around the ole joanna guvnor.

I also never shut up about the blitz or how it was so much better when Ronnie and Reggie were around (they loved their dear ole mum, god bless 'em).

That’s when I’m not costermongering or chimney sweeping and getting into lovable scrapes with our bobbies (“the best in the world”).

Oh and Francesca;- Jellied is is for proper toffs not the likes of me. I’m a pie and mash man.

30

Never been there, so I have to rely on tv. Hence my image, off the top of my head, is nubile young ladies being chased around by dirty old men (Benny Hill), rampaging Daleks and blue police call boxes that mysteriously disappear (Dr. Who), and politicians who shout a lot (Prime Minister’s Questions). Of course I discount Monty Python…that’s fictional :D.

31

I am not sure what type of response you are looking for here, but I love your island! I spent a couple of weeks in Bristol, in the fish ponds area, with some friends, and I fell in love. I was there for the balloon festival which was incredible! The people were gracious and kind- in spite of the fact that I am a yank! I went everywhere I could while I was there and I would go back in a heartbeat!

32

I like England a great deal. FTR, I was born and raised in California, and visted England (and Wales, too) for two weeks in the fall of 1998. My cousin is a UK/US dual citizen and had recently moved back to London, where she was born, and I took the opportunity to visit and get free board. My first impression was one of terrible transportation - I was due to land in London, but because of excessive fog, landed in Birmingham instead. Apparently every plane in all of Europe had also landed in Birmingham, and the terminal was full, so they wouldn’t let us out of the plane for an hour. A horrible hour during which my irate Israeli copassengers screamed at the flight attendants and smoked (I had flown from Tel Aviv). Finally, they let us out of the plane, and told us that a coach (British for bus) would be sent to bring us to London - in six hours. I said screw that, and took a train instead. I really liked the train ride - green hills, gray skies, pointy haystacks - until it broke*. It took a while to get it fixed again, and when I finally got to London, I was exhausted and entirely confused.

But after that, it was great. I didn’t get out of London while I was in England, but I had a fabulous time. My cousin had to work and stuff, so mostly I was by myself. I went to touristy places, and non-touristy places. I got hideously lost, but never felt endangered. I discovered that I couldn’t understand people from the north of England at all. Totally unintelligable. I got a really super deal on this great trousers in Camden cause it started raining while I was looking and the seller needed to get everything inside quickly. There was an abundance of yummy Indian food. I was really surprised by the ethnic diversity. I knew that there was a large Indian population in Britain, but I was caught off-guard when I found myself in Chinatown!

I loved it. If I could get a work visa, I’d move there in a second.

33

I know just enough about England to want to go there.
I’m certain I will, some day. BTW, one of the sexiest things a woman can wear is an English accent.

34

Actually we use both coach and bus.
As a general rule of thumb, a bus is hop on/hop off whereas a coach has a definite start and end. Example being you have the number 63 bus that goes along the Bristol Road from Northfield to Birmingham City Centre and people can get on/off at all stops along the way, whereas you have coaches going from Birmingham to London where you get on at Birmingham and off at London (although if you are lucky there will be stops in a coupel of cities along the way).

35

You English are still exporting all our crops while my 19 kids just can’t find enough potatoes to feed themselves. I am now forced to seel them to medical science.

Mo Chron, Mo Chron, I’ll have to get a coffin ship to America…

36

Judging from movies…

The young women tend to be very easy. When they get older they are either tired and resigned to life or eccentric and domineering. The men all drink a lot, the upper class are snooty, the rest are obsessed with soccer (which they mistakenly call ‘football’) and stay out getting drunk with their friends. They also fight a lot, but rarely with weapons, and after fighting they get chummy with the guy they were just whupping. Hardly anyone works, if they do it’s either in some small shop they live over or in a factory. Those that have cars drive small ugly vehicles that look like they are at least 20 years out-of-date. Most people walk or use public transportation. It’s always cloudy, usually rainy.

37

In the very worst tradition of national stereotyping…

[LIST=1]
[li]Queues - frequent, orderly and with a rigorously observed etiquette. Must be the military tradition.[/li][li]Slot machines, video games etc. in pubs - anything to avoid having to talk to one another.[/li][li]Did you spill my pint?[/li][li]Clubbing, larging it, COME ON, Ibiza[/li][li]Do you mind terribly if… if it isn’t too much trouble…thanks awfully[/li][li]I was born in England but I’m not actually English, I’m… (insert any other nationality, particularly Irish or Scottish)[/li][/LIST=1]

All the same, for godless, thieving swine, you’re not too bad.

38

Question from a confused Aussie…

Here in Australia, we have only 19 million people in an area nearly the size of the continental USA. You blokes have 70-odd million (IIRC) in an area the size of… well, a US state, or a large fraction of an Australian one. My question is: with the above in mind, where the hell do you get all that beautiful unspoiled countryside we see on TV? Is it the same little bit cleverly shot from different angles?

Aussies, Canadians, and Americans tend to take space for granted. We’ve got bucketloads of it. Crowded countries I’ve been to on the other hand (esp. in Asia), have no space at all, but are somehow geared to this. But Britain? You seem to be in denial somehow. You’re a crowded little island, but you also have lots of space. Credit to you for pulling this off, but I just don’t know how you do it.

On the other hand, there can’t be that much unspoiled countryside there. A couple of Aussie travellers’ tales:

An Sydney talk show host was relating a story of backpacking around the UK in his younger days. He spent a lot of time hiking with British friends in the countryside. Suddenly, on a quiet country road, he stopped. His UK friends asked what the matter was. He replied, “I’ve been here six weeks, and this is the first stretch of road I’ve been on where I can see no buildings in either direction!”

My aunt was on a coach tour of Britain, and saw a large number of sheep all bunched in together in what she thought was a small field being used as a holding pen. She asked the tour guide, “Why have those sheep been rounded up? For shearing?”

“Rounded up? Shearing?”, replied the guide. “Good heavens no, that little field is the farm.”

But yeah, the space thing gets me -dunno how you do it. But it looks really beautiful, and I want to go as soon as I can.

39
  1. Whhhyyyy are we waaaait-ing?
    8…[Alexei Sayle] Still, mustn’t grumble.[/Alexei Sayle]
40

How do we manage it? Have you seen the size of a London flat? Would soon become obvious.