# Imaginarily recast a great film with horrible choices **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 6, 2001, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519 "2001-05-06T05:51:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/1 "2001-05-06T05:51:51Z")
Earlier tonight Mrs. Rhosis and I rented and watched “Schindler’s List,” and agreed that Liam Neeson and Ben Kingsley were terrific–great casting. But as tape one ended (it’s a two tape release), we took a break to grab cokes, and the usual before loading the second tape. During that time, I saw a snippet of “Walker, Texas Ranger,” and having the bizarre mind that I do, I began seeing Chuck Norris as Oskar Schindler, began imagining the “shading and nuances” he would have brought to the role (snicker). What would Tom “The Dukes of Hazzard” Wopat have brought to the role of Itzhak Stern that Ben Kingsley was unable to deliver? Would JM J Bullock have been as effective as Ralph Fiennes as the evil Amon Goeth? You get the idea… Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/2 "2001-05-06T06:41:17Z")
Okay, _To Kill a Mockingbird_…Brad Pitt as Atticus Finch. There, movie’s ruined already, no need to recast the other parts. Okay, okay, I’ll try harder. Atticus Finch: Nicholas Cage Jem Finch: Jake Lloyd Scout Finch: the Pepsi girl ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/3 "2001-05-06T09:35:21Z")
2001: Rosie Perez as the voice of HAL. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/4 "2001-05-06T11:12:04Z")
Philadelphia starring Andrew Dice Clay ---
**Author:** ![Mothra\_s\_Pilot\_Car](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mothra\_s\_Pilot\_Car](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mothra_s_Pilot_Car)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/5 "2001-05-06T11:34:57Z")
_Unforgiven_, the beautifully-filmed western, now starring Tommy Lasorda as the silent, conflicted cowboy struggling with his conscience. . . .I’m sorry, i’m still distracted by Jim J. Bullock as Amon Goeth. . . ~ **Mothra** ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/6 "2001-05-06T11:45:22Z")
_A Clockwork Orange_ starring Carrot Top. _Blue Velvet_ starring Paul Rubens (aka Pee Wee Herman) as Frank. _Mary Poppins_ starring Courtney Love (sorry, it just wouldn’t quite fit). _A Christmas Carol_ starring Steven Segal (Jacob Marley would have his elbow broken within seconds of trying to tell Scrooge). _It’s a Wonderful Life_ starring Pauley Shore. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/7 "2001-05-06T12:25:34Z")
William Shatner as Captain Kirk in Star Trek V. And let him direct. I’m sorry, you said a **great** film with **horrible** choices! But hey, they wouldn’t have been stupid enough to let him direct. Would they? ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/8 "2001-05-06T13:02:29Z")
**American Beauty** starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Lester Burnham, Bette Midler as Carolyn Burnham and Britney Spears as their daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/9 "2001-05-06T15:14:44Z")
**Casablanca,** featuring **Boy George** as Rick **Fran Drescher** as Ilsa **Coolio** as Sam **David Spade** as anybody ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/10 "2001-05-06T15:24:24Z")
_Pulp Fiction_ - starring Martin Lawrence as Jules, David Hyde Pierce as Vincent, and Jennifer Love Hewitt as Mia. _Silence of the Lambs_ - starring Rodney Dangerfield as Hannibal and Denise Richards as Clarice _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_ - with Adam Sandler _Taxi Driver_ - with Jim Carrey ---
**Author:** ![CBEscapee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@CBEscapee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBEscapee)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/11 "2001-05-06T15:42:54Z")
_Apocalypse Now_ Insert Richard Thomas for Brando,Billy Crystal for Sheen and Hugh Grant for Duvall. _The horror,the horror._ ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/12 "2001-05-06T16:16:12Z")
_To Have and Have Not_, with Richard Gere as Harry Morgan (“Steve”), Britney Spears as “Slim”, and Danny DeVito as Eddie (“Was you ever bit by a dead bee?”) ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_G7subs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85e7bf/32.png) [@Rich\_G7subs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_G7subs)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/13 "2001-05-06T16:28:05Z")
Top Gun Starring: Danny Devito as Lt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell Rhea Pearlmen as Charlotte Blackwood “Call sign Charlie” ---
**Author:** ![TomH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90db22/32.png) [@TomH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TomH)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/14 "2001-05-06T16:31:05Z")
Sylvester Stallone as the eponymous protagonist in _Get Carter_ ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Plankton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Dave\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/15 "2001-05-07T09:15:20Z")
Woody Allen as Tyler Durden in Fight club Puff P Diddy as Shaft Arnie as Mrs. Doubtfire Ronald Reagan as Rick in Casablanca Pam Anderson as Clarice Starling Michael Caine as Hannibal Lector Mickey Rourke as Anyone in any film is also bad casting ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/16 "2001-05-07T09:40:06Z")
_Titanic_ with the guy who plays Erkel (sp?) on Family Matters as Jack. _A Clockwork Orange_ with Jar Jar Binks as Alex. ---
**Author:** ![TomH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90db22/32.png) [@TomH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TomH)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/17 "2001-05-07T11:18:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dave Plankton \* > **Michael Caine as Hannibal Lector** Actually, that isn’t such a bad suggestion now you mention it; think of his performance in _Deathtrap_ or _Get Carter_ ---
**Author:** ![Evnglion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@Evnglion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evnglion)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/18 "2001-05-07T12:39:56Z")
in **Monty Python and the Holy Grail** , nothing would make me hate a movie more, than if Jim Carrey was 6 different characters Jake Lloyd in **The Sixth Sense** would’ve destroyed that movie This is an easy one, take Meg Ryan, and put her in any movie that needs to be taken seriously… how about **Twister** , not the most serious movie, take away helen Hunt, and throw in Ryan, you get a bad movie. What about **Nell** , again, not a horrible movie, but it turns into crap when you take away Jodie Foster and throw in some meg Ryan. She has gotta be the worst actress this planet has seen… with the exception of Drew Berrymore, of course ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/19 "2001-05-07T14:17:13Z")
Terry (Hulk) Hogan in… in… in ANY movie. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/20 "2001-05-07T14:34:29Z")
Tom Green in Keaton’s “The General” or Chaplin’s “City Lights” \ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519.md?page=2)