# Imaginarily recast a great film with horrible choices **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 6, 2001, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519 "2001-05-06T05:51:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Joaquim\_Matilda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@Joaquim\_Matilda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joaquim_Matilda)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/21 "2001-05-07T14:45:10Z")
Richard Simmons as Ebenezeer Scrooge ---
**Author:** ![plasticbryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@plasticbryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plasticbryan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/22 "2001-05-07T15:31:45Z")
How about Georghe Mueresan instead of Andre the Giant in The Princess Bride? No large man can hold a candle to Andre! ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/23 "2001-05-07T16:14:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dave Plankton \* > \*\*Mickey Rourke as Anyone in any film is also bad casting \*\* I’m kinda surprised you haven’t gotten slammed for this one, but I wholeheartedly agree. He is the most overrated actor of modern times. I personally despised Barfly, almost entirely to his acting. “Drinks for all my frieeeeennnnds!” The friend I saw it with said that the only explanation for his horrible performance was that Rourke is a Method actor, and was therefore downing a fifth of cheap scotch before appearing on the set. Anyhow …, my choice **Robert DeNiro** as Weslesy in The Princess Bride. Yes, the man is God, but I still can’t see him playing the light-hearted swashbuckler. Sua ---
**Author:** ![horowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@horowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horowitz)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/24 "2001-05-07T16:27:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by silent\_rob \* > **_Blue Velvet_ starring Paul Rubens (aka Pee Wee Herman) as Frank.** I can totaly see see this. Not only do I think Paul Rubens may have enough depth to play a pretty creepy Frank, but Pee Wee as Frank could be funny. Using his smarmy Pee Wee voice in the same tone as “I know you are but what am I.” “Do you want me to pour the beer Frank?” “No I want you to f\*ck it…duh.” ---
**Author:** ![horowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@horowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horowitz)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/25 "2001-05-07T16:40:13Z")
**Britney Spears** as _Sally Bowles_ **John Wayne** as Joel Grey’s _Master of Ceremonies_ ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/26 "2001-05-07T20:03:57Z")
Steven Seagal **is** Hamlet! With Katie Sagal as Gertrude David Spade as King Claudius Sylvester Stallone as Polonius Bette Midler as Ophelia ---
**Author:** ![caircair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@caircair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caircair)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/27 "2001-05-07T21:44:16Z")
“Philadelphia Story” with: Tom Cruise Brad Pitt and Courtney Love. The musical remake, “High Society” with: Harry Connick, Jr. Ricky Martin and Courtney Love. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/28 "2001-05-07T21:56:13Z")
Oh, I know! In “The Bonfire of the Vanities,” the judge is supposed to be a Jewish conservative- let’s give the part to Morgan Freeman! And the reporter is supposed to be a left-wing, intellectual Englishman- perfect part for Bruce Willis! And the part of… wait a second… I’m afraid we just aren’t silly enough to keep up with the REAL Hollywood casting directors. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/29 "2001-05-08T01:25:25Z")
Let’s remake _The Third Man_ with Jerry Lewis instead of Orson Welles and Dean Martin instead of Joseph Cotton. And Ann Margaret as the love interest, what the heck. ---
**Author:** ![Joaquim\_Matilda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@Joaquim\_Matilda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joaquim_Matilda)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/30 "2001-05-08T03:29:44Z")
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly with: The Three Stooges ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/31 "2001-05-08T03:48:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\*William Shatner as Captain Kirk in Star Trek V. And let him direct. > > SNIP. > > But hey, they wouldn’t have been stupid enough to let him direct.\*\* Star Trek V is my least favorite Trek, because of its horrible storyline, bargain-basement effects, an overweight, bored Nimoy, etc. etc. It is truly bad. But… was Shatner’s direction as horrible. There are some nice composition shots (the mountain climbing, on the “God Planet”). I’m not a devotee of directors, nor am I really very knowledgeable about lighting, frame composition, editing, what-have-you, I just know if I see something I like. So, experts in the areas I am not, I ask your opinion. Was Shatner’s direction bad? Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/32 "2001-05-08T04:38:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ageless6 \* > \*\*2001: > Rosie Perez as the voice of HAL. \*\* No, no! Fran Drescher! Come to think about it, pretty much any movie with Fran…can you just imagine her as Maria in “Sound of Music”? YEEEEEEK!!! ---
**Author:** ![heembo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f6c823/32.png) [@heembo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heembo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/33 "2001-05-08T04:57:01Z")
**The Wizard of Oz** with **Rosie O’Donnell** as Dorothy, **Jim Carey** as the Straw Man, **Louie Anderson** as the Cowardly Lion, and the **Harlem Globtrotters** as the munchkins. I think this could be made into a terrible movie with these guys and some others. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/34 "2001-05-08T04:57:21Z")
I think I’m starting to feel sorry for Jake Lloyd. You _know_ he’ll never get another acting job in his life, plus he’s forever doomed to be mentioned in threads (and conversations) like this one. ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/35 "2001-05-08T08:59:00Z")
Dijon Warlock: You’re absolutely right about Fran Drescher. I tried to think of her name until my eyes crossed. No luck, so I went with Rosie. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519/36 "2001-05-08T09:42:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ageless6 \* > \*\*Dijon Warlock: > You’re absolutely right about Fran Drescher. I tried to think of her name until my eyes crossed. No luck, so I went with Rosie. \*\* “The hills are aloive with the sound of muuuuuusic! Enh-henh-henh-henh-henh-henh!!!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginarily-recast-a-great-film-with-horrible-choices/64519.md?page=1)