# Imaginary foods you wish existed
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [August 12, 2011, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443 "2011-08-12T11:51:09Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/1 "2011-08-12T11:51:09Z")
If anything was possible, what type of foods do you wish existed? Would you go for something completely fantastic like Dragon burgers or something more useful like donuts that reduce your cholesterol? My own contribution would be a mango that was as easy to peel as a banana and that had no stone in the middle. Imagine taking a bite out of a deliciously ripe, juicy mango that was mango all the way through! Nothing but silky sweet fruit-flesh!
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### Author:  [@Suil\_Dubh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suil_Dubh)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/2 "2011-08-12T12:02:56Z")
With your screen name I would have guessed an edible book.
My imaginary food is the Neverending Pizza.
It’s kinda like the “Neverending Story”, but with more pizza.
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### Author:  [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/3 "2011-08-12T12:05:00Z")
How about grapes that peel themselves and levitate towards your mouth with nothing but an indolent gesture from you?
Chocolate that works better than viagra for a really fun night?
Ice cream that stays cold and doesn’t melt until it’s in your mouth?
Platters of teleporting sushi that appear at the snap of your fingers?
Corn on the cob without any of those annoying cornsilk threads?
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### Author:  [@Suil\_Dubh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suil_Dubh)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/4 "2011-08-12T12:08:34Z")
Grapefruit that doesn’t squirt in your eye.
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### Author:  [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/5 "2011-08-12T12:10:43Z")
Or grapefruit that you can peel as easily as a tangerine. Or grilled cheese sandwiches where that cheese stays all melty.
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### Author:  [@Suil\_Dubh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suil_Dubh)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/6 "2011-08-12T12:15:22Z")
I can get behind the idea of permanently melty grilled cheese sandwiches.
How about nutritious, super-sized, low-calorie, ethically produced, deep-fried, fast food?
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### Author:  [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/7 "2011-08-12T12:15:32Z")
On a more realistic note:
Garlic-egg bagels. Here in New york (aka bagel capital of the world) you can get plain egg bagels, egg-onion bagels, and egg-everything bagels.
But not egg-garlic bagels.
☹
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/8 "2011-08-12T12:15:46Z")
A tasty, portable, no-need-to-prepare-in-the-morning low-carb breakfast.
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### Author:  [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/9 "2011-08-12T12:17:52Z")
> [@Suil\_Dubh](#):
>
> I can get behind the idea of permanently melty grilled cheese sandwiches.
>
> How about nutritious, super-sized, low-calorie, ethically produced, deep-fried, fast food?
Dear lord, yes. Spicy KFC chicken that’s actually good for your heart.
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### Author:  [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/10 "2011-08-12T12:20:50Z")
> [@jjimm](#):
>
> A tasty, portable, no-need-to-prepare-in-the-morning low-carb breakfast.
Like a scotch egg?😛
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### Author:  [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/11 "2011-08-12T14:24:49Z")
Roast rump of tree-dwelling elephant with ecstasy sauce.
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### Author:  [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/12 "2011-08-12T14:26:31Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#):
>
> Roast rump of tree-dwelling elephant with ecstasy sauce.
With fries
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### Author:  [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/13 "2011-08-12T14:28:13Z")
Really good non-alcoholic wine and beer in all the varieties that normal wine and beer have. Sometimes I don’t want the alcohol, but I love the taste of good beer and wine with or afterward.
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### Author:  [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/14 "2011-08-12T14:34:19Z")
Krabby Patties. They just seem so good.
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### Author:  [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/15 "2011-08-12T15:15:02Z")
Bachelor Chow
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### Author:  [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/16 "2011-08-12T15:32:58Z")
Roast beast.
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### Author:  [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/17 "2011-08-12T15:46:21Z")
Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters!
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/18 "2011-08-12T15:47:49Z")
Pomegranates where you don’t have to go through so much grief and effort for so smal a reward.
and where the juice doesn’t stain.
As Persephone said, _Pomegranates are Hell_.
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### Author:  [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/19 "2011-08-12T18:35:41Z")
In one of Asimov’s Foundation novels (I forget which, but definitely post trilogy - early in Trevize’s journies if I recall) there was a sector in Trantor known throughout the galaxy for its edible molds. It’s been a very long time since I’ve read the books but I still remember thinking - based solely on how well these molds were described - that I really want to taste them. To this day every time I eat a fancy cheese I wistfully long for Trantor mold.
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### Author:  [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/20 "2011-08-12T18:41:06Z")
Well hell, if we’re going to talk about fanciful things like cholesterol lowering donuts, dragon burgers and levitating grapes then we might as well go all out: A chocolate bar that grants eternal youth, health, and beauty; and has the next winning Powerball number printed on the inner label. 😛
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