# Imaginary foods you wish existed **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 12, 2011, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443 "2011-08-12T11:51:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/21 "2011-08-12T18:41:08Z")
Apples that taste like bacon. This should be the goal of genetic engineering. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/22 "2011-08-12T18:52:40Z")
I want the frim-fram sauce with the aussen-fay, with shi-fa-fa on the side. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/23 "2011-08-12T19:38:58Z")
Negative calorie foods. You eat them and you lose weight. Eat a double cheesebuger and lose two pounds! Yum! ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/24 "2011-08-12T20:16:30Z")
Romulan ale. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/25 "2011-08-12T20:18:31Z")
Sugar Free Donunts _ **OH GAWD!!! I MISS DONUTS!!!** _ Sugar Free Red Velvet cake too. ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/26 "2011-08-12T21:07:35Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Pomegranates where you don’t have to go through so much grief and effort for so smal a reward. This was actually the first thing that came to mind for me. Similarly, oranges without the bitter white crap and without the skin on each segment. If you peel the individual segments of an orange so it is only flesh, they are really heavenly! ---
**Author:** ![pope\_hentai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@pope\_hentai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pope_hentai)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/27 "2011-08-12T21:10:04Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > A tasty, portable, no-need-to-prepare-in-the-morning low-carb breakfast. they already make pre-cooked bacon. ---
**Author:** ![kath94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/67e7ee/32.png) [@kath94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kath94)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/28 "2011-08-12T21:27:10Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters! > [@Johnny\_Angel](#): > > I want the frim-fram sauce with the aussen-fay, with shi-fa-fa on the side. Purple Flurp? ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/29 "2011-08-12T23:03:08Z")
The butter pies from Diana Wynne Jones’ _A Tale of Time City_. I’ve always wanted to taste those. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/30 "2011-08-12T23:08:29Z")
When I was a kid I envisioned watermelons the size of rowboats that grew on kelp-like vines in bays and inlets. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/31 "2011-08-12T23:08:45Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > A tasty, portable, no-need-to-prepare-in-the-morning low-carb breakfast. [These are actually pretty good,](http://www.questproteinbar.com/) if expensive. I’ve only had the peanut butter and the vanilla almond ones, and the peanut butter ones are better. ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/32 "2011-08-13T03:51:26Z")
Khlav kalash, some sort of meat on a stick. Goes great with crab juice. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/33 "2011-08-13T04:14:13Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters! With a Perfectly Normal Beast sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/34 "2011-08-13T04:16:44Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > Apples that taste like bacon. This should be the goal of genetic engineering. I just made this my facebook status my food? Spice Melange, from the Duniverse. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/35 "2011-08-13T14:14:02Z")
> [@ministryman](#): > > Negative calorie foods. > > You eat them and you lose weight. > > Eat a double cheesebuger and lose two pounds! Yum! But how would you sustain yourself? Eat a positive-calorie double cheeseburger also? Wait, never mind, I like this idea. > [@MegaBee](#): > > Bachelor Chow This. I already basically have cereal as a sweet version, but I also want a salty/savory one. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/36 "2011-08-13T17:35:02Z")
Butterbeer, Pumpkin Juice, or Fire Whiskey anyone? Were there any non-muggle food items (non-drinks) in the Harry Potter books? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/37 "2011-08-13T17:48:27Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > Khlav kalash, some sort of meat on a stick. Goes great with crab juice. Or Mountain Dew. If, you know, you can stomach _that_. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/38 "2011-08-13T23:40:25Z")
> [@awldune](#): > > This was actually the first thing that came to mind for me. > > Similarly, oranges without the bitter white crap and without the skin on each segment. If you peel the individual segments of an orange so it is only flesh, they are really heavenly! Wow, I really like the white parts–well, in navel oranges. I guess other varieties are bitter. I was going to say something about waybread and cram from Tolkien’s work. But evs. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/39 "2011-08-13T23:56:17Z")
Clone-vat meat. For both ethical reasons…and culinary ones. (Panda Paella! Teriyaki T-Rex! Soylent Sashimi!) [SCP-294’s greatest hits.](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-294) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/40 "2011-08-14T00:23:35Z")
Coffee that tastes like it smells is a classic wish. > [@Ranchoth](#): > > Clone-vat meat. For both ethical reasons…and culinary ones. (Panda Paella! Teriyaki T-Rex! Soylent Sashimi!) Or meat melons or meatfruit. Like a watermelon or fruit, but engineered to grow meat inside. That way people can grow their own, or farm them with low-tech methods in places that can’t afford cloning facilities. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443.md?page=3)