# Imaginary foods you wish existed **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 12, 2011, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443 "2011-08-12T11:51:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/41 "2011-08-14T00:26:47Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > A tasty, portable, no-need-to-prepare-in-the-morning low-carb breakfast. > [@Bibliovore](#): > > Like a scotch egg?😛 No, not like a scotch egg. The breadcrumb coating and the sausage meat are both high carb. One scotch egg contains almost an entire day’s allowance of carbs for an Atkins dieter. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/42 "2011-08-14T00:43:34Z")
Tranya! ---
**Author:** ![vifslan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f4b2a3/32.png) [@vifslan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vifslan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/43 "2011-08-14T18:02:26Z")
I’d like a cruciferous vegetable that tastes like the center of a broccoli stem, without the tricky peel and the fibrous parts. About the same size as a carrot. Kohlrabi comes pretty close to what I imagine, but it always ends up tasting slightly compost-like when I heat it. Also, could someone invent the blue wine of Astibar already? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/44 "2011-08-14T21:35:10Z")
A scotch egg, made with real scotch. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/45 "2011-08-14T23:11:15Z")
A barbecued brick of chocolate ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/46 "2011-08-14T23:30:11Z")
I used to have, on rare occasion, a craving that manifested in my mind as a kind of green burrito. It took me many years (ok, I’m a slow learner) to realize that they [actually did exist](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://content.costco.com/Images/Content/Product/9769b.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx%3Fprodid%3D10205465%26whse%3DBD_767%26topnav%3Dbdoff%26cat%3D8234%26hierPath%3D7582*%26lang%3Den-US&h=300&w=300&sz=17&tbnid=fGrtqchEoln63M:&tbnh=90&tbnw=90&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dhostess%2Bapple%2Bpie%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=hostess+apple+pie&docid=3OkmxbIGoNTp_M&hl=en&sa=X&ei=O1pIToWYFMqGsgKPwvSRCA&sqi=2&ved=0CDgQ9QEwBg&dur=92) and this was my body’s rather stupid way of letting me know I should go eat some fruit. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/47 "2011-08-15T00:27:58Z")
An easy-to-grow fruit that tastes like the saddle of a lobster with whole drawn butter as the juice. It should be low-calorie, high in protein and fibre, and as long as we’re at it, should have roots that sequester carbon in tiny grains which are released into the soil. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/48 "2011-08-15T00:47:09Z")
> [@Critical1](#): > > my food? Spice Melange, from the Duniverse. No slig? ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/49 "2011-08-15T00:54:25Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > Khlav kalash, some sort of meat on a stick. Goes great with crab juice. [There’s a recipe for it floating around on the web](http://everything2.com/title/Khlav+Kalash), if you’re so inclined. Personally, I could go for some of that beer with candy floating in it. You know, Skittlebräu? ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/50 "2011-08-15T01:01:32Z")
In the future we will probably be able to eat what we want, even imagined ones, as much as we want, without putting anything harmful or hurt ourselves. If I were to eliminate everything that’s harmful according to my doctor\*\*s \*\*I would end up with water, just water, and only water… and that’s the truth. Hopefully I can live through my descendants to enjoy the future food… ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/51 "2011-08-15T15:30:25Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > In the future we will probably be able to eat what we want, even imagined ones, as much as we want, without putting anything harmful or hurt ourselves. > > If I were to eliminate everything that’s harmful according to my doctor **s I would end up with water, just water, and only water…** and that’s the truth. Hopefully I can live through my descendants to enjoy the future food… But not from the tap. . . :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/52 "2011-08-15T15:47:22Z")
George R.R. Martin in _Tuf Voyaging_ mentioned a bunch of different alien-derived but human-edible foods in the distant future. The one that stuck with me was “mashed smackles.” Mmm, lemme get my fork! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/53 "2011-08-15T15:59:09Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > …[SCP-294’s greatest hits.](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-294) Heh. There are references to both lembas and the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster in that. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/54 "2011-08-15T16:28:45Z")
Slurm. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/55 "2011-08-15T19:26:32Z")
Some Spotted Pussy to put my [Spotted Dick](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_dick) in. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/56 "2011-08-15T19:53:35Z")
Cashew or Macademia Toffee Brittle: low fat, high protein, high fiber ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/57 "2011-08-15T19:58:53Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Some Spotted Pussy to put my [Spotted Dick](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_dick) in. So you have no idea what a spotted pussy might be or look like? ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/58 "2011-08-15T20:50:44Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > A tasty, portable, no-need-to-prepare-in-the-morning low-carb breakfast. Mini crustless quiches. A very easy, versatile recipe. 12 eggs 1/3 cup milk or cream 1/2 cup cheese of your choice 1/2 pound (raw weight) meat of your choice (I like bacon or chorizo) Cooked vegetables ( I’ve used chard, onions, bell peppers, oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, basically anything that sounds good) Beat the eggs with the milk. Add the cheese, meat, and veggies. Ladle into well-greased muffin tins (the silicone ones work best for ease of removal). Bake at 325 for 32 minutes. Let cool and remove from pans. A minute and a half in the microwave in the morning is all it takes. Two of these will keep you until lunchtime, easy. They also freeze well, although they reheat better if you thaw them fully in the refrigerator before trying to nuke them. I make a double recipe on Sundays and my husband and I eat them for breakfast all week long. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/59 "2011-08-15T21:34:41Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > So you have no idea what a spotted pussy might be or look like? I think I know what it smells like, though. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443/60 "2011-08-15T21:40:08Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > I think I know what it smells like, though. Sour milk? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imaginary-foods-you-wish-existed/592443.md?page=4)