# Imagine if sperm lived indefinitely in the most hostile of environments **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468 "2013-04-23T03:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/1 "2013-04-23T03:56:00Z")
I dunno about you but it seems I’ve been coating every place I’ve lived since I was about 12 years old. Particularly bathrooms, certainly when I was very young that was a common place. Bath tubs, shower stalls, even toilet seats! Women could never again risk Going Commando. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/2 "2013-04-23T04:43:16Z")
You also have to take into account all the animals which produce sperm which have ever existed. Including dinosaurs. The oceans will rise by 100 feet. Basically, we will have to have evolved to become a sperm-consuming organism, if that were the case. Gay or not, you’d have to swallow in order to live. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/3 "2013-04-23T05:13:41Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Women could never again risk Going Commando. Or go swimming or bathing without watertight underpants. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/4 "2013-04-23T05:31:15Z")
> [@Askthepizzaguy](#): > > You also have to take into account all the animals which produce sperm which have ever existed. Including dinosaurs. The oceans will rise by 100 feet. > > Basically, we will have to have evolved to become a sperm-consuming organism, if that were the case. > > Gay or not, you’d have to swallow in order to live. Since the sperm can survive the harshest of environments, it can’t even be digested. There would be a thick coating of sperm over everything. Feet? Hundreds of feet? Oceans and lakes would just be swamps of sperm. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/5 "2013-04-23T05:38:59Z")
Including inside a woman’s body? Would a woman who has unprotected sex once just keep getting impregnated over and over? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/6 "2013-04-23T06:08:17Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Including inside a woman’s body? Would a woman who has unprotected sex once just keep getting impregnated over and over? Unprotected sex? The environment is filled with live sperm. It will be in her blood stream. Her ovaries will produce fertilized eggs. Not to mention evolution will be going wild with hybridization, sperm from every species is everywhere. I am having a hard time understanding how humans evolved in such an environment in the first place, but since we’re here we might as well get used to it. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/7 "2013-04-23T06:09:35Z")
Indeed. I’m very much ready to get used to this. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/8 "2013-04-23T12:45:29Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Or go swimming or bathing without watertight underpants. Instead of sunblock, we’d have spermblock. SPF would have a whole new meaning. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/9 "2013-04-23T12:54:07Z")
What percentage of volume of ejaculate is sperm anyway? It can’t be much. Most of it is just semen, and _that’s_ not invulnerable in the OP. Remember, sperm/semen doesn’t just spring into existence out of nothing. The mass for it had to come from something. So oceans rising 100’s of feet would mean that there’s suddenly _a lot_ more mass in the ocean, I guess it came from the continents? So did the continents all shrink too? But yeah, birth control becomes absolutely necessary, all women are put on birth control by the age of 7 or 8 or so. Luckily, STDs and such aren’t carried within the sperm themselves, but in the seminal fluid, so at least we don’t have to worry about that. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/10 "2013-04-23T12:55:34Z")
Michael Crichton - **Andromeda Spunk** ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/11 "2013-04-23T13:31:47Z")
That would really, really mess up the whole story of how Jesus was conceived. Me, I have never been so relieved to have an IUD in place. Frankly, I think gynecologists would be implanting them proactively well before a girl hits puberty. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/12 "2013-04-23T13:54:16Z")
Which brings us to the John Forster song, [“Spores.”](http://www.com-www.com/JohnForster/spores.html) ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/13 "2013-04-23T14:03:15Z")
then imagine the conditions that would necessitate such an adaptation. ---
**Author:** ![NeonMadman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@NeonMadman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NeonMadman)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/14 "2013-04-23T14:06:02Z")
Reading this thread reminded me of this story: > **[Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex](http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html)** > > An exceedingly amusing story by Larry > Niven about the Superman's procreative challenges. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/15 "2013-04-23T15:28:03Z")
… and a whale of a good time was had by all, except for the squid. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/16 "2013-04-23T15:46:12Z")
And prior to this era, the Precamebrian? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/17 "2013-04-23T15:59:34Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > And prior to this era, the Precamebrian? I think we need a ruling from the grammar police. I would call it the Precumbrian era, but OTOH it perhaps should be in past tense. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imagine-if-sperm-lived-indefinitely-in-the-most-hostile-of-environments/656468/18 "2013-04-23T16:13:15Z")
> [@Askthepizzaguy](#): > > You also have to take into account all the animals which produce sperm which have ever existed. Including dinosaurs. The oceans will rise by 100 feet. > > Basically, we will have to have evolved to become a sperm-consuming organism, if that were the case. > > Gay or not, you’d have to swallow in order to live. I can’t say I’m comfortable reading this response from a guy with the user name **Askthepizzaguy**. (Insert that winky smiley faced thing here.)