# Imponderable questions **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094 "2013-08-13T01:02:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/1 "2013-08-13T01:02:31Z")
Why do we drive on a parkway, but fuck chickens? Why are there no midgets on Death Row? Why do people who don’t wear a watch look at their wrists when you ask them the time? (Actually, that one has an answer: So they can pull off the boffo punchline, “Three hairs past the freckle!”) How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/2 "2013-08-13T01:47:15Z")
Why is a duck? Because one of its legs is both the same. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/3 "2013-08-13T04:19:26Z")
How long is a piece of string? ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/4 "2013-08-13T04:26:00Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > How long is a piece of string? Twice as long as it is from the middle to one end. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/5 "2013-08-13T04:26:20Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > How long is a piece of string? Long enough to reach the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/6 "2013-08-13T04:32:07Z")
Why do women… …? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/7 "2013-08-13T04:34:45Z")
What would Jesus do? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/8 "2013-08-13T04:35:16Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Why do women… …? Because… %^~… Zz CARRIER LOST ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/9 "2013-08-13T04:54:02Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What would Jesus do? Kill all Jews. Starting with His Mom. As would **anyone** who has a Jewish Mother, and then sleep the sleep of the just. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/10 "2013-08-13T04:55:14Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Why do women… …? Because. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/11 "2013-08-13T04:59:21Z")
Why does my cat…? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/12 "2013-08-13T05:02:34Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Why does my cat…? [Because.](http://www.galactanet.com/comic/view.php?strip=110) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/13 "2013-08-13T05:07:15Z")
Millard Fillmore and Rutherford B. Hayes were both Presidents of the United States. Neither was assassinated. Coincidence? Consider the following: Neither man died on a Tuesday. Neither man was from Pennsylvania. Neither man served in the Senate. Neither man was a Mormon. Neither man was married to a woman named Jane. Neither man was succeeded by a man named John. Neither man is portrayed on Mt Rushmore. Neither man spoke Italian. Neither man authorized the founding of the CIA. Fillmore never had a cat named Rutherford. Hayes never had a dog named Millard. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/14 "2013-08-13T05:12:54Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Millard Fillmore and Rutherford B. Hayes were both Presidents of the United States. Neither was assassinated. Coincidence? Consider the following: > > Neither man died on a Tuesday. > Neither man was from Pennsylvania. > Neither man served in the Senate. > Neither man was a Mormon. > Neither man was married to a woman named Jane. > Neither man was succeeded by a man named John. > Neither man is portrayed on Mt Rushmore. > Neither man spoke Italian. > Neither man authorized the founding of the CIA. > Fillmore never had a cat named Rutherford. Hayes never had a dog named Millard. OTOH, Solomon Grundy was born on Monday, christened on Tuesday, married on Wednesday, took ill Thursday, grew worse Friday, died on Saturday, buried on Sunday, and that was the end of Solomon Grundy. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/15 "2013-08-13T05:16:39Z")
Why did Solomon Grundy get married at the age of three days? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/16 "2013-08-13T05:36:08Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Why did Solomon Grundy get married at the age of three days? The Ultimate “Anchor Baby”? ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/17 "2013-08-13T14:42:15Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Why did Solomon Grundy get married at the age of three days? Where does it say that those days were all in the same week? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/18 "2013-08-13T15:01:03Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > Where does it say that those days were all in the same week? In BG’s quoted bit, there was an “a” in the line for the day. In what he then posted himself, there wasn’t. So, a literal reading could be that it was all the same week. It’s a joke, roll with it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/19 "2013-08-13T15:22:07Z")
[Inspired by this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=699351)😃 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094/20 "2013-08-13T15:29:24Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Kill all Jews. Starting with His Mom. As would **anyone** who has a Jewish Mother, and then sleep the sleep of the just. It would have killed him to become a doctor? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderable-questions/666094.md?page=2)