# Imponderables **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 18, 2009, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972 "2009-11-18T00:00:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JerseyFrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@JerseyFrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyFrank)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/21 "2009-11-19T20:31:02Z")
Wouldn’t it be easier if the change were “Men! (Applause),” instead? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/22 "2009-11-19T22:42:00Z")
So for the past few days I had this annoying song in my head. Annoying because it was some trite pop ditty. Annoying because I don’t like trite pop ditties. Annoying because it was some _eurotrash_ trite pop ditty. Annoying because I had no idea what the song was, nor what it’s lyrics were. All I had in my head was about eight to ten seconds of vague word shapes endlessly repeating because I didn’t know where the song went from there – just that small, anonymous snippet of a tune. Annoying. Not climb-up-the-bell-tower annoying, but annoying nonetheless. But it went away, as those things are wont to do. Then in one of those daydreamy states where my mind takes a constitutional from thought to thought, I realized that I couldn’t remember the tune. And was actually sitting there _trying_ to remember it. How bizarre is that? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/23 "2009-11-19T22:46:15Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > So for the past few days I had this annoying song in my head. > > Annoying because it was some trite pop ditty. > > Annoying because I don’t like trite pop ditties. > > Annoying because it was some _eurotrash_ trite pop ditty. > > Annoying because I had no idea what the song was, nor what it’s lyrics were. All I had in my head was about eight to ten seconds of vague word shapes endlessly repeating because I didn’t know where the song went from there – just that small, anonymous snippet of a tune. > > Annoying. > > Not climb-up-the-bell-tower annoying, but annoying nonetheless. > > But it went away, as those things are wont to do. > > Then in one of those daydreamy states where my mind takes a constitutional from thought to thought, I realized that I couldn’t remember the tune. > > And was actually sitting there _trying_ to remember it. > > How bizarre is that? No more bizarre than using “wont” in a sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/24 "2009-11-19T23:20:17Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > No more bizarre than using “wont” in a sentence. Who wouldn’t want to use wont? Mmmmmm wonton. ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/25 "2009-11-23T06:59:06Z")
If everyone was a millionaire, how much would a cheeseburger cost? ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/26 "2009-11-23T07:09:01Z")
Why is the Mid East so far from the Mid West? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/27 "2009-11-23T16:49:26Z")
> [@Desert\_Nomad](#): > > Why is the Mid East so far from the Mid West? You mean, like, Jersey? ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/28 "2009-11-23T21:38:48Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I didn’t make this one up, but after I read it, I began pondering it: What was the best thing before sliced bread? Reminds me of a similar question I once saw: “What did people who scrapped ideas go back to before the drawing board was invented?” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/29 "2009-11-23T21:49:18Z")
If “a penny for your thoughts” was coined 200 years ago or more, what is the value of my thoughts today, adjusted for inflation? ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/30 "2009-11-24T09:17:11Z")
In areas hit by hurricanes, couldn’t we make a counter wards spinning hurricane to put everything back in its original place? ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/31 "2009-11-24T14:17:19Z")
Does single sclerosis feel overshadowed? ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/32 "2009-11-24T16:20:55Z")
Do the people who use Magellan brand GPS units realize that ol’ Ferdinand never completed his journey? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/33 "2009-11-24T20:16:50Z")
Are a paramedics a paradox? ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/34 "2009-11-24T20:25:52Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > Wait, wait… did the OP just invoke a series of books by David Feldman that are technically competing with The Straight Dope? The Straight Dope has no competition. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Kickback\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/cdc98d/32.png) [@Kickback\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kickback_Joe)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/35 "2009-11-24T21:27:18Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > The Straight Dope has no competition. 🆒 Not as long as we continue “cooking with gas”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/36 "2009-11-24T22:38:23Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Are a paramedics a paradox? Are a pair of pliers just two Pillipino aviators? ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/37 "2009-11-24T22:57:43Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Why is it that I can spruce myself up, and pine for my lover, but can’t deciduous myself anything? You can always turn over a new leaf. But only if you want to stick around. Or branch out into new territory. (Ok, I’ll log off now…) ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/38 "2009-11-25T02:42:07Z")
> [@postcards](#): > > Do the people who use Magellan brand GPS units realize that ol’ Ferdinand never completed his journey? They are going to have to compete with my new GPS startup company, Colombus Navigation, Inc. The GPS units we build will take you somewhere that sounds similar to where you want to go but the distance estimators will be off by half and and all destinations will be mislabeled. It will lead you back to cool places that you found as long as you don’t compare notes with other people because that is just a buzz-kill for the adventure and mystery. Contact your local royalty about getting a grant for a demo. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/39 "2009-11-26T01:57:44Z")
“I disagree with Kay Jewelers; I bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Budweiser than with Kay” Sent in an amusing email by a friend. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972/40 "2009-11-26T19:21:04Z")
Shouldn’t all sea shanties be written in the key of sea? Coffee doesn’t make you cough but really, with a name like that, it should. If you drive a bus in reverse, does it turn into a sub? That would be cool, so long as you were near some water. When a submarine captain shouts, ‘Up periscope!’ I honestly think the ‘Up’ part is a bit superfluous. Everyone knows which way the surface is. Does a procrastinating mathematician use a calcu-later? If a piece of wood is reluctant to be used for anything, it becomes woodn’t. I once wanted to reliably send food to someone I used to date. I used FedEx. You know, maybe the hour hand is really counting the minutes, and the minute hand is really counting the hours, and we’ve just all been wrong about it all this time. When they were building the very first ever photocopier, I bet it was really frustrating whenever they just quickly needed a new set of the plans. An octopus can produce ink, and a porcupine can produce quills. But of course, they are never found together in the same place. I guess that’s how come they never write anything. If you take any Dan Brown novel and only read every 93rd letter in every alternate paragraph, you get a hidden message that makes perfect sense. Well, as much sense as the original, plus you get to the end quicker. Some people think Madonna is a bit crazy. Well, duh, look at the first three letters! I still don’t understand that weird message on the dollar bill: In God Wet Rust. If you’re only studying places in the world where you can run a bit faster than walking, it’s called jography. Okay, Bugs Bunny. I get the ‘bunny’ part. But ‘bugs’? Is he covered in insects or something? If you make decorative oriental figurines all day, and you get a bit fed up with it, are you jaded? For 17 years in hospital my friend paused between two clauses. He was in a comma. Before they revealed their invention to everyone, I hope the Wright Brothers took the opportunity to win a few big bets off people they didn’t like. ‘Hey, I bet you anything you like I can go into that field and fly through the air!’. Because I would have. I’ve got this friend who is bordering on never having had sex. He’s a vergin. They say ‘there’s no business like showbusiness’. But if you think about it, you could say the same about trans-national commodities trading. But no-one ever sings _that_ song. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/imponderables/517972.md?page=3)