# Important Announcement **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403 "2000-04-01T04:23:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/1 "2000-04-01T04:23:00Z")
I just got this email which I felt was important enough to share with ya’ll. I’m sorry for such short notice, but I just now got this email, myself, so I’m posting it here as quick as I can. > [@](#): > > YEARLY INTERNET MAINTENANCE ANNOUNCEMENT > > IT IS URGENT THAT YOU DO NOT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET FROM MARCH 31st 23:59 GMT (11:59 PM) UNTIL 00:01 GMT (12:01 AM) APRIL 2nd. > > It’s that time again. As many of you know, each year the Internet must be > closed down for a 24 hour period of time in order to receive maintenance, or a “Tune Up” if you will. > > Many dead links on the World Wide Web will be removed, as well as FTP links that are no longer used. Lost e-mail will also be removed from the system at this time. The White House is very interested in this part of the > project. > > In addition to the normal maintenance to be completed this year, we will also be using new high pressure information jets to clear out the bottlenecks that have plagued the Internet so greatly this past year. > > Although the down time for maintenance will be an inconvenience for many > > People, you will find this will allow for a much more efficient and faster responding Internet. > > This year, the “Tune Up” will occur from 23:59 GMT (11:59 PM) on March 31st > until 00:01 GMT (12:01 AM) on April 2nd. During that 24 hour period, dozens of powerful Internet bots at key locations around the globe will simultaneously scan the Internet and complete the desired maintenance > jobs wherever they may be required. > > To help protect any valuable data you may have on the Internet from possible corruption, we highly recommend you take the following steps before this 24 hour maintenance period begins: > > 1. Disconnect all terminals and LANs from the Internet. > > 2. Disconnect all Internet servers from the Internet. > > 3. Refrain from connecting any computer, or any other internet connection device, to the Internet in any way. > Note: The term “other Internet connection device” includes such devices as WebTV. > > Again, we understand the inconvenience this will cause many people. And for that, we apologize. However, the great increase in Internet performance you will experience after this short period of maintenance, > will far outweigh any problems it will cause. > > This message comes to you from the Internet via an Internet Service Provider. Again, I apologize for such short notice, I only hope I’ve posted here in time for everyone to get the message. I think I speak for us all when I say I’m very much looking forward to a _ **new and improved** _ internet. See ya’ll Sunday!!! ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/2 "2000-04-01T04:25:00Z")
Yer jokin’ right? * * * “Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.” And “This site is more addictive than caramel-covered crack!” ---
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/3 "2000-04-01T04:26:00Z")
😉 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/4 "2000-04-01T04:27:00Z")
Okie Dokie mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/5 "2000-04-01T04:28:00Z")
Whew! I was worried for a minute there. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/6 "2000-04-01T04:39:00Z")
ha ha ha ha… April Fools! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/7 "2000-04-01T04:46:00Z")
I heard that one a few days ago, while my kids were playing in the ball pit at Burger King. My daughter said that something was biting her, and when she climbed out, there was a snake dangling from her sock. The snake eventually died of a heroin overdose, but not before he gave me a cookie recipe from Nieman-Marcus, the address of a teenage boy dying of ostripliosis of the liver, and a warning to shut off my computer this weekend. * * * This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea. “I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.” ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/8 "2000-04-01T05:52:00Z")
Don’t forget to cover your phone and modem with plastic to catch the dust when they blow out the phone lines. * * * No matter where you go, there you are. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/9 "2000-04-01T05:54:00Z")
Hey Cristi can I have that recipe? * * * ## Mistress Kricket Are you stuck on stupid? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/10 "2000-04-01T05:59:00Z")
Sure Kricket, for two-fifty. 😉 * * * This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea. “I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.” ---
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/11 "2000-04-01T11:11:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I heard that one a few days ago, while my kids were playing in the ball pit at Burger King. My daughter said that something was biting her, and when she climbed out, there was a snake dangling from her sock. The snake eventually died of a heroin overdose, but not before he gave me a cookie recipe from Nieman-Marcus, the address of a teenage boy dying of ostripliosis of the liver, and a warning to shut off my computer this weekend. Please, for your own safety, when you read this message, feel around on your back. From everything you’ve told me, I fear you may have just had your kidney stolen. ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/12 "2000-04-01T13:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SingleDad: > \*\*Don’t forget to cover your phone and modem with plastic to catch the dust when they blow out the phone lines. > > \*\* Be sure not to be on the phone when we switch over to DST they’ll charge you an hour for a one minute long call. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/13 "2000-04-01T13:42:00Z")
:::feeling around back::: Hello, what’s this? A bandage? AAAAGH! There’s a Blue Star tattoo on my back! AAAAGH! * * * This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea. “I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.” ---
**Author:** ![Nanno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nanno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanno)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/14 "2000-04-01T15:48:00Z")
Yea right, good one * * * I don’t think so ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/important-announcement/15403/15 "2000-04-01T15:51:00Z")
There’s supposed to be a spectacular show in the night sky tonight, too, around midnight, as all the junk from cyber-space falls back into the Earth’s atmosphere. * * * “We are here for this – to make mistakes and to correct ourselves, to withstand the blows and to hand them out.” Primo Levi