# Impossible To Open Packaging: "Honey, Get Me The Chainsaw, I Want A Graham Cracker" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 13, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945 "2004-02-13T00:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/41 "2004-02-14T19:38:46Z")
One of the nice things about being a gun collector. Very few packages can withstand the liberal application of a Swedish Mauser bayonet. Those that do will almost always succomb to a Swedish Mauser round… ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/42 "2004-02-14T20:41:51Z")
I hate those clear plastic salad bar containers. You know the ones… clamshell design, and they have two tabs at the front with raised rectangular bits that “lock” together when you close the lid and press them together… And then you can’t open them back up. Nine times out of ten, when I try to pry the damned thing open again, the whole container just starts to split and tear. Or I cut myself. Or both. I hate them! ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/43 "2004-02-14T21:57:10Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I hate those clear plastic salad bar containers… > > And then you can’t open them back up. Nine times out of ten, when I try to pry the damned thing open again, the whole container just starts to split and tear. Or I cut myself. Or both. I hate them! Yes! And the cashiers at my grocery store then _tape_ the damn thing shut for me, so it won’t accidentally open on the way home. I know they’re just trying to be helpful, but I always wonder just what they think they’re doing. Those damn salad bar containers never open on their own. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/44 "2004-02-14T22:59:51Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by OpalCat_ > I hate those clear plastic salad bar containers. You know the ones… clamshell design, and they have two tabs at the front with raised rectangular bits that “lock” together when you close the lid and press them together… These are actually pretty easy if you know the trick. . .you put a butter knife between the molded “peg” and the “female” side it fits into, and twist the knife sideways, and it pops right open! Of course, it’s ridiculous that you should need a butter knife to open one of these things, but if you have one, it’s pretty simple; works for the same type of packages that store-made muffins and cookies and such come in. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by BiblioCat_ > And the cashiers at my grocery store then tape the damn thing shut for me, so it won’t accidentally open on the way home. At my store, they provide extra-large rubber bands at the salad bar; for packages that are impossible to open if you get them closed just right, if you don’t get them closed exactly right, they pop open at very inopportune times! ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/45 "2004-02-14T23:30:10Z")
> [@Thinks2Much](#): > > I want to complain, too! It is not food, but it is bad packaging none the less. > > The packaging on children’s toys these days is the most time consuming, horrendous packaging there is. Toys now come in cardboard that has been coated with indestructible plastic, but the walls of the cardboard are missing so the product can be displayed and touched. That isn’t that bad. You can get some scissors to cut the cardboard. What you find out when you get past the cardboard is that no less than 14 industrial strength twist ties have been woven through and around this toy. And no, these can’t be your garden variety garbage twist tie, these are wire ties that will give you carpal tunnel to untwist, that will slice an artery in half a second if you should slip, that are strong enough to use to tow a truck out of a ditch if you wound them together. Once you get all these ties off, then you still have to find a screw driver to unscrew the toy from a plastic base (most often seen with toy vehicles). Note that these screws are about 1/100" of an inch in diameter and 4" deep in a well that is also 1/100" in diameter. Try finding the screw driver around the house that has a head that small with a shaft that long! > > Now try undoing all that with an impatient 4 year old on Christmas morning. > > “You can buy our products, but don’t use them!” Ain’t it the truth? My son just had his fourth birthday and got not one, but TWO Bob the Builder toys. You don’t get that many twist ties in a package of trash bags, and they certainly aren’t as tough! And worse yet, some of these toys have a plastic ring (similar to what they use to weld pairs of shoes together) binding them. Fortunately for me, these were not the only gifts he received and I was able to open them while he played with his other new toys. Forget age warnings on these things for the kids–what they should have on them is warnings for us old folks: **CAUTION–packaging material not suited for removal by anyone over the age of 30!** ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/46 "2004-02-15T00:23:52Z")
> [@Mayflower](#): > > Forget age warnings on these things for the kids–what they should have on them is warnings for us old folks: **CAUTION–packaging material not suited for removal by anyone over the age of 30!** Not quite, it should be: **CAUTION----packaging material not suited for removal by anyone _over or under_ the age of 30. Or by 30 year-olds with hands. Or by adults with any facial features. Or by anyone who has a heartbeat. If you are a handless, undead 30-year-old without a face, you may attempt to open this packaging material (Success is not guaranteed nor expected. The manufacture claims no liability for papercuts.)** ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/47 "2004-02-15T01:15:24Z")
I’m SOOO happy that I haven’t been cursing alone! I bend the tabs on the mouthwash bottle cap so I can open the damned thing when my brain is still running at fuzz level. Al-Queda does not want Listerine™. The glue used to attach blister packs to cardboard is one of the strongest adhesives known to man. You put your fingernail under an edge of the bubble, peel off the cardboard, and you still have cardboard attached to the @\*&$% bubble! Why doesn’t NASA use that stuff to keep the space shuttle together. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/48 "2004-02-15T04:42:44Z")
For years I had a pair of kitchen scissors that got fairly beat up, and I noticed they were failing a lot in opening packaging, so hey, I thought, I’m a gainfully employed adult, I can go out and buy a brand new pair of kitchen shears. Of course, only after did I get them home did I realize my spanking new industrial grade kitchen shears were packaged in a clear, apparently seamless, hard plastic shell. It was like the Impossible Dream, right there in my kitchen. I could _see_ the shears, and I _had_ some packaging that obviously needed to be opened, but never the twain shall meet. I eventually got out the hacksaw to liberate my scissors. This naturally produced razor sharp edges on the plastic case, which I probably should have kept to use on stubborn packaging in the future, like if I ever have to buy a new hacksaw. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/49 "2004-02-15T05:36:24Z")
Cream cheese. Why on earth is cream cheese so difficult to open? Oh, the tubs are great. Those are, in fact, Goddess’ gift to humankind. But they’re also more expensive. And sometimes I just don’t have the extra buck, and all I need to make is some dip for the office potluck tomorrow, so the regular block will just have to do. But that packaging…dammit, _why_ do I need scissors to open my cream cheese? _It’s just cream cheese!_ _sob_ ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/50 "2004-02-15T08:33:24Z")
Apologies if someone said this above… I didn’t read every post. _lazy_ It’s all a conspiracy you see. The knitting needles / scissors / generic Pointy Objects™ industries have a highly guarded secret arrangement, known only as The Alliance, with the graham cracker / CD player / medicine / generic Things With Unopenable Packaging™ industries. The Pointy Objects people pay them billions to make the packages increasingly harder to open, thus increasing demand for Pointy Objects. It is a little-known fact that there is no such activity as “knitting.” If you think you saw someone knitting once, they were put up to it by The Alliance. It was invented to justify the existence of strange “needles” whose very existence would otherwise reveal the whole conspiracy. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/51 "2004-02-16T05:10:32Z")
Note on the back of a Monty Python 12" figure’s box: Adults Note: Cut the plasticc, twisty, annoying attachments with scissors and discard in the trash. And yes, we really need all of those ties, so stop sniveling! ---
**Author:** ![jesleigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@jesleigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesleigh)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/52 "2004-02-16T07:23:45Z")
A couple of weeks ago members of my family were discussing this problem. I politely informed them they had this problem because they are all old farts. I (age 19) have never had that much trouble opening a simple package. Fast forward to now: the huge gash in my hand is healing nicely. No, I promise, this gash did not come from trying to open a box with a pair of scissors, and your crazy if you think it did. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/53 "2004-02-16T13:22:34Z")
> [@TJdude825](#): > > Apologies if someone said this above… I didn’t read every post. _lazy_ > > It’s all a conspiracy you see. The knitting needles / scissors / generic Pointy Objects™ industries have a highly guarded secret arrangement, known only as The Alliance, with the graham cracker / CD player / medicine / generic Things With Unopenable Packaging™ industries. The Pointy Objects people pay them billions to make the packages increasingly harder to open, thus increasing demand for Pointy Objects. > > It is a little-known fact that there is no such activity as “knitting.” If you think you saw someone knitting once, they were put up to it by The Alliance. It was invented to justify the existence of strange “needles” whose very existence would otherwise reveal the whole conspiracy. I can’t forget to mention that the knitting needle people also have The Alliance with all the clothes manufacturers that make items with draw strings. When one end disappears into the tunnel of fabric, the only solution is to pull the damn string out, tie it to a long knitting needle, and push the needle with the string attached back through the tube until the needle and draw string come out the other hole, then untie the needle. It’s a lovely way to waste a hour of your life. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945/54 "2004-02-16T14:02:59Z")
I bought a bulk pack of sardines at Costco. IIRC it was a shrink wapped package of 12 or 16 cans. Each can had a pull tab top. The first time I tried to open a can the tab immediately snapped off with the top still completely and firmly in place. Have you ever tried to open a rectangular can with a can opener? Have you ever tried to remove a partially opened, jammed rectangular can from a can opener? Mind you, this was a wall mounted can opener and the can was filled to the brim with very fishy fish oil which slopped out at the least movement. When I finally did get it out there was no way to actually extract the fish through the tiny slit I had managed to gouge. After experiencing similar problems with a mechanical can opener, a screwdriver, and tin snips, I ended up throwing out the can. The second can I tried opened properly. My procedure for using up the rest of the pack was as follows: 1. Choose a can. 2. Pull the tab. 3 If it opens, remove fish and eat. If the tab breaks, throw out the can, choose another and start over at step 1. I think I ended up throwing out about two thirds of the cans. I never bought that particular brand again. I did find another brand that I could buy in bulk at Costco that opens with no problem. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-to-open-packaging-honey-get-me-the-chainsaw-i-want-a-graham-cracker/228945.md?page=2)