# Impossible topics **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2018, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943 "2018-02-16T18:11:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/1 "2018-02-16T18:11:37Z")
A recent Cafe Society thread about pineapple brought this to mind. Because, as most of you knew the moment you saw the word, it only took a few posts before somebody tried to start a pizza debate. Stunningly, in this case it didn’t work, and the thread continued to be about pineapple. There are certain topics which simply cannot be discussed here, because they will immediately devolve into another debate. - Anything to do with aggressive dogs (There’s no such thing as a PIT BULL !!!11!11) - Any recipe involving cilantro (It’s genetic! No it isn’t! I hate that stuff!) What other topics are impossible to discuss on the Dope? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/2 "2018-02-16T18:19:30Z")
Shoes on or off it the house. Oprah. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/3 "2018-02-16T18:47:22Z")
Anything about modern religious practices is going to turn into “Well, it’s all Bronze Age mythology spaghetti monster Og pink flying unicorns blah blah blah” ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/4 "2018-02-16T18:50:07Z")
“Why do women go for bad guys rather than nice guys?” - Maybe 100 threads, and all going in more or less the same circle. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/5 "2018-02-16T18:52:19Z")
What’s the right way to hang toilet paper? Under the roll or over it? Should I have my cat declawed? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/6 "2018-02-16T18:58:00Z")
“I’d like advice on XYZ relationship hiccup” often turns into an “oh just dump 'em already” pileon without any actual advice. Ketchup on hot dogs. Ordering a steak cooked to well-done. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/7 "2018-02-16T18:59:21Z")
I think stuff like declawing or circumcision results in the same circular nonsense\* but they at least stay on topic. But mentioning “My neighbor has angry dogs” will turn into pit bull stuff whether the OP is about pit bulls or not. Likewise, I half considered posting a Lent related topic but immediately grew tired just knowing 80% of the responses would be garbage about the validity of religion or “I gave up Lent for Lent hurr hurr!” rather than stuff about my query. \*Edit: well, assuming the topic was “Do you agree?”. I guess posting “Should my girlfriend split the bill for declawing the cat she got me?” would result in a debate about declawing whether you want one or not. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/8 "2018-02-16T19:02:11Z")
You can’t talk about FGM because it will become a talk on male infant circumcision. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/9 "2018-02-16T19:12:22Z")
The interesting experiment will be to see if _this_ topic turns out to be an impossible one. Can it avoid turning getting sidetracked into a ranting match about one of the topics that gets mentioned? I always thought cat declawing and pit bulls were two of the classics for people getting really worked up. The toilet roll one I think is more along the lines of a template for parody rants. Some of the arcane science & math ones are interesting. “Does 0.9999… equal 1” comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/10 "2018-02-16T19:27:50Z")
What is the square root of my shoe? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/11 "2018-02-16T19:35:57Z")
Shags love life. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/12 "2018-02-16T19:40:13Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > I always thought cat declawing and pit bulls were two of the classics for people getting really worked up. No they aren’t! ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/13 "2018-02-16T19:58:43Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > No they aren’t! An argument isn’t just contradiction. It’s a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/14 "2018-02-16T20:51:05Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > An argument isn’t just contradiction. It’s a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. No it isn’t! And speaking of toilet paper… Do you wipe yourself sitting or standing, and front to back or back to front? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/15 "2018-02-16T20:57:28Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > What’s the right way to hang toilet paper? Under the roll or over it? > > Should I have my cat declawed? Well, if you had them declawed then you could hang it the _proper_ way, which is over because they won’t be able to unroll it as easily without claws. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/16 "2018-02-16T21:36:22Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > No it isn’t! > > And speaking of toilet paper… Do you wipe yourself sitting or standing, and front to back or back to front? Lying on my side. Cheek to cheek, like His Noodliness decreed. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/17 "2018-02-16T21:55:14Z")
I remember when the ladies here couldn’t start a bra thread with out it turning into a “It’s just a joke” “No it’s not!” argument. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/18 "2018-02-16T22:05:10Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > What’s the right way to hang toilet paper? Under the roll or over it? > > Should I have my cat declawed? [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20790068&postcount=63](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20790068&postcount=63) > [@Riemann](#): > > An argument isn’t just contradiction. It’s a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. …but that’s not important right now. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/19 "2018-02-16T22:07:01Z")
I hate bras, invented by men, no doubt. I think the secret is that…Victoria is a man! ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2018, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943/20 "2018-02-16T22:16:02Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Shags love life. No, they are unthinking nihilists. Cormorants on the other hand _truly_ love life. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impossible-topics/808943.md?page=2)