# Improve any book with the addition of Zombies, Ninjas or Pirates
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improve-any-book-with-the-addition-of-zombies-ninjas-or-pirates/747195
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [February 26, 2016, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improve-any-book-with-the-addition-of-zombies-ninjas-or-pirates/747195 "2016-02-26T14:33:10Z")
**Posts on this page:** 5
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2016, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improve-any-book-with-the-addition-of-zombies-ninjas-or-pirates/747195/21 "2016-03-04T04:49:18Z")
And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
But they were terrified and affrighted, and supposed that they had seen a spirit.
And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? and why do thoughts arise in your hearts?
Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh that falleth from the bones, and strong sharp teeth, as ye see me have.
And when he had thus spoken, he shewed them his hands and his feet.
And while they yet believed not for joy, and wondered, he said unto them, Have ye here any meat?
And they gave him a piece of a broiled fish, and of an honeycomb.
But he said unto them: Before, I said unto you, This is my body. And, This is my blood.
But now I am come back unto you from the tomb. And I say unto you all that it is your bodies that shall be my meat.
And then Jesus fell upon them all, and rent them asunder, and devoured them, especially the brains thereof.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2016, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improve-any-book-with-the-addition-of-zombies-ninjas-or-pirates/747195/22 "2016-03-04T05:21:40Z")
"We landed in Sicily today. It’s probably a beautiful country, but I hope to never see it again. I try not to scare you when I write these letters, but sometimes it’s hard to find what to say without being scary. War is like a thing you can’t imagine.
And then there’s the robots."
-_Atomic Robo_, because some stories win this game before you even start playing.
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### Author:  [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2016, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improve-any-book-with-the-addition-of-zombies-ninjas-or-pirates/747195/23 "2016-03-04T12:24:03Z")
The _Earth’s Children_ series, with Zombies.
The whole series, but especially the last book, would have been much improved by this.
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### Author:  [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improve-any-book-with-the-addition-of-zombies-ninjas-or-pirates/747195/24 "2016-03-04T18:37:17Z")
have often walked down this street before
But the pavement never seethed beneath my feet before
How I wish I was several stories high
Knowing I’m on the street where zombies live
Are there ninjas lurking in the heart of town?
Can you find a pirate ship in any other part of town?
Does entrapment pour out of every door?
No it’s just on the street where zombies live
And oh the frightening feeling
Just to know somehow they are near
The overpowering feeling
That any second I may suddenly disappear
People run and scream, and it bothers me
And there’s nowhere else on earth that I wouldn’t rather be
Let the black sails fly, I won’t care
Cause I will be here on the street where zombies live
Bowdlerized from: My Fair Lady - On The Street Where You Live Lyrics
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [March 4, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improve-any-book-with-the-addition-of-zombies-ninjas-or-pirates/747195/25 "2016-03-04T19:26:57Z")
For _All the President’s Men_, they could change all the White House staff to zombies without even recasting or makeup. 🙂
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