# Improved Titles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 3, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164 "2010-03-03T19:17:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/1 "2010-03-03T19:17:03Z")
Movies, Books, TV Shows, Music, Poems, anything that has a title. To Hurt A Mockingbird (current thread caused me to think of this thread) Apocalypse Whenever Singin’ in the Sleet West Side Rumor Star Tiffs Lips Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Teenager Midday Phantom of the Glee Club ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/2 "2010-03-03T19:19:28Z")
Many years ago, Omni magazine had a contest for things like this. My favorite entry (and the only one I remember): World War Junior. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/3 "2010-03-03T19:24:39Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > Many years ago, Omni magazine had a contest for things like this. My favorite entry (and the only one I remember): > > World War Junior. I have zero doubt that there must be dozens of threads with similar goals. I probably started at least two of my own. If I can find any I’ll build a list of links to them. New day, some new folks, some new titles to destroy. Repeats are fine. It’s not like it’s important or anything. Just stretch the mind fun and silliness. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/4 "2010-03-03T19:40:04Z")
Hey, no problem. I wasn’t criticizing, I just didn’t want to take credit for a clever line (well, I think it is) that I didn’t actually think up myself. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/5 "2010-03-03T19:50:39Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > Hey, no problem. I wasn’t criticizing, I just didn’t want to take credit for a clever line (well, I think it is) that I didn’t actually think up myself. That’s cool. I didn’t see it as criticism, really. Just helped me realize I hadn’t said enough in the OP. There was an old competition in _New York_ magazine that made it into a book of theirs. It had some goodies like: The Sun Comes Up, Too From Poland With Love Fiddler on the Porch The Socks of the Fisherman The book (given to me for Christmas, 97) is entitled _Thank You For The Giant Sea Tortoise_ if you want to hunt it down. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/6 "2010-03-03T20:14:42Z")
The Not-so-great Gatsby ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/7 "2010-03-03T21:17:32Z")
Days of Wine & Daisies How to Be Moderately Successful In a Career With Minimal Effort The Sound of Humming ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/8 "2010-03-03T21:27:28Z")
Books: The Old Man and the Pond Gatsby: A Pretty Good Guy The Tolerance of Cooking The Sound and the Ire Sophie’s Conundrum Movies: Cubic Zirconia is For Quite a Long Time ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/9 "2010-03-04T14:54:35Z")
**Sharp Teeth**. This is what ‘Jaws’ should have been called anyway. I don’t think anyone is scared of a shark’s _jaws_, as such. It’s the rows and rows of razor-sharp teeth inside that can cause a slight health problem. **The Shiny Killer Robot**. **The Short, Ugly Alien With A Shiny Finger**. **Growly Man In A Cape Fights Crooks, Again**. **Small People, Naughty Ring**. **Freak With Abilities Only Faintly Related To Those Of An Actual Spider**. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/10 "2010-03-05T14:36:05Z")
The God-Did-It-In-Six-Days Theory ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/11 "2010-03-05T14:39:08Z")
Misplaced ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/12 "2010-03-05T14:47:22Z")
The Wacky Adventures of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa , Maggie, Ned, Maude, Rod, Tod, Apu, Troy, lionel, Selma, Patty, Abraham, Seymour, Milhous, Ralph, Nelson, Moe, Barney, Montgomery, Wayland, Carl, Lenny, and A Whole Lot of Other Characters ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/13 "2010-03-05T15:02:14Z")
Skeleton Barn Grey’s Body Parts NBC Nightly Rumors and Innuendo Monday Night Commercials Larry King Not Dead Just Yet ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/14 "2010-03-05T15:09:34Z")
2 1/2 Total Malcontents ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/15 "2010-03-05T15:15:09Z")
The Falsettos Crabgrass Curb Your Cynicism ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/16 "2010-03-05T15:25:02Z")
S_c_a_l_l_o_p ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/17 "2010-03-05T15:32:33Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > S_c_a_l_l_o_p Indeed! 😃 Abbot The Final Cinema Lawn Mower The Bugbite Duck Pond ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/18 "2010-03-05T17:05:08Z")
The Moaning of the Sheep (starring Hal Briston) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/19 "2010-03-06T03:20:22Z")
The Ten Suggestions Around the World in a Few Months When, Voyager? What Ever Happened to Baby What’s-Her-Name? Bell, Book and Flashlight On a Clear Day You Can See Pretty Far Guess Who’s Coming to Brunch ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164/20 "2010-03-06T03:42:50Z")
Mister Kane Down by the Docks Twelve O’ Clock PM The Fruit of Anger The Wound Received in Battle The Drunken Bender Two Adult Dalmatians, Their Litter of Fifteen, and Eighty-Four Unrelated Dalmatian Puppies. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/improved-titles/531164.md?page=2)