# impure thoughts **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 21, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998 "2001-09-21T13:26:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/1 "2001-09-21T13:26:01Z")
Yes, I have 'em… sweet innocent me - who’da thunk it? We have a young officer from the RAAF working in our group in an engineering liaison type job. As it is hot here, he’s wearing the uniform that includes khaki shorts. I happened to be walking behind him heading back to my cubicle. _Holy guacamole, what a butt!!!_ I expect I’m old enough to be his mother and I’d most certainly never act on this. Still… whew… Wonder if I need to see my Dr. about adjusting the dosage of my hormones?!? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/2 "2001-09-21T13:28:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Wonder if I need to see my Dr. about adjusting the dosage of my hormones?!? 😃 \*\* Let’s not be hasty, **FCM**! Maybe we can put those raging hormones to good use…😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/3 "2001-09-21T13:50:16Z")
Ahh… younger men. My favorite. You don’t think I went back to college at my age for an education, did you? Young cowboy types everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/4 "2001-09-21T13:54:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **I happened to be walking behind him heading back to my cubicle.** I knew it! Somebody WAS staring at my butt! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/5 "2001-09-21T16:14:20Z")
Believe it or not, I don’t make a habit of checking out guys’ asses. But the fit of his shorts caught my eye… I am so ashamed… OK, maybe not, but I should be! Shouldn’t I? ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/6 "2001-09-21T16:28:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Believe it or not, I don’t make a habit of checking out guys’ asses. But the fit of his shorts caught my eye… I am so ashamed… > > OK, maybe not, but I should be! Shouldn’t I? \*\* Should you? No! In fact you give young guys everywhere the hope that a sexy older woman is checking out their ass! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/7 "2001-09-21T16:59:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Believe it or not, I don’t make a habit of checking out guys’ asses. But the fit of his shorts caught my eye… I am so ashamed… > > OK, maybe not, but I should be! Shouldn’t I? \*\* As the old saying goes, “last time I checked, I wasn’t blind, gay, or dead.” ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/8 "2001-09-21T17:50:45Z")
**Snickers** , have I ever mentioned _I_ have khaki shorts? Well, I do. (And AstroPunk is just teasing you. Don’t listen to anything _he_ has to say. _Embarassing thread link omitted due to good taste._) I have impure thoughts all the time. There goes [one now](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=77796). (This one is recurrant.)And [another one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=86039). (This is a fevered collection of 'em. And _it’s not my fault_.) -Rue. (who needs a lie-down, anyone want to join me?)(Look what you’ve done to me!) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/9 "2001-09-21T18:14:09Z")
**Rue** , ya know I love ya more than my luggage [sub](name that movie)[/sub] but after reading your old thread, I’m having a difficult time getting worked up over the mental image of an albino potato with hair in khaki shorts… But don’t fret. You see, I love you for your mind and your wit. My love for you transcends mere physical impurity and lust. It is a spiritual love. Umm, the aforementioned professions of love will not lead to carnal knowledge - just so you know! ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/10 "2001-09-21T20:02:31Z")
::: Blushing furiously as she admits to impure thoughts about a rear-end [sub]that she shouldn’t be thinking about[/sub] on a charming guy. ::: ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/11 "2001-09-21T20:26:10Z")
hmmmm - impure thoughts confession… fun for all ages… wish I’d thought of that!! ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/12 "2001-09-21T20:26:10Z")
This reminds me of a scene from the play _Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?_ which takes place in a Catholic Jr. High School. All the kiddies are going to confession, and all of the boys say something along the lines of “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. This week I took the Lord’s name in vain twice, I lied once, I stole 50 cents from my sister, and I had 437 impure thougts.” I also like the part where they want to “buy a pagan baby” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/13 "2001-09-21T23:02:47Z")
Are you sure its his real butt? Maybe he is wearing some of those fancy underpants with butt enhancements? Better grab it & check to make sure. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/14 "2001-09-21T23:09:45Z")
All right, now which one of you just grabbed my ass? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/15 "2001-09-21T23:16:17Z")
**FairyChatMom** , you are not alone. I’ve been having VERY impure thoughts about a certain Doper… [sub]Mmmmmmmmm…[/sub] ::MsRobyn wanders off to take a cold shower:: Robin ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/16 "2001-09-21T23:28:45Z")
Lately, it’s odd when I’m _not_ having impure thoughts. And it’s only going to get worse (or better, I suppose) in the near future. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VitrolicBump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a587f6/32.png) [@VitrolicBump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VitrolicBump)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/17 "2001-09-21T23:31:36Z")
[Placebo]…what a beautiful a-asssss![/Placebo] (from the hit single, Nancy Boy) [sub]Yeah. Like you know what that one is.[/sub] Oh, there are too many asses that I want to grab. But I’d get slapped across the room. Anyone mind if I take my frustration out on them? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/18 "2001-09-22T00:40:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **…after reading your old thread, I’m having a difficult time getting worked up over the mental image of an albino potato with hair in khaki shorts…** Good news, I’ve been living the Rue DeDay Diet and I no longer look the potato. I’m more a yam now. Maybe a sweet potato. Or some other sexier root vegetable. And with all the sun I’ve been getting, the albino deal is a thing of the past. At least for my arms and the back of my neck. I’m a yam with a farmer’s tan. And the chicks dig me. -Rue. (who is, even as we speak, having an impure thought of **MsRobyn** in a cold shower) (Nipples are my weakness!) (And if anyone wants that for a sig, enjoy.) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/19 "2001-09-22T00:43:16Z")
Rue, when you start to look like chocolate, call me!! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998/20 "2001-09-22T00:53:06Z")
**FCM** Been there, done that. This conversation recently took place between myself ( married/kids/the whole ball of wax) and my friend ( married/no kids yet) \*\*Me: \*\* It’s so depressing, I am called Ma’am…(wah wah wah) **Friend:** (very emphatetic) I know, just the other day the bag boy at the store called me “Ma’am” and all I could think of was, ‘Damn, I’d do you in a heart beat.’ **Me:** It wouldn’t be the same, you know. For us, it’s a thrill. For them, it’s a mercy screw. By chance, we happened to go to that very store and that very same 18-19 year old guy bagged our groceries. I had to wipe the drool off my chin he was quite good looking with a hot little body. Mercy screw or not, I can still have my fantasies. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/impure-thoughts/82998.md?page=2)