# In a perfect world... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 9, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468 "2001-09-09T02:43:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/1 "2001-09-09T02:43:14Z")
…awesome, inspiring movies would not have stupid, predictable endings, and all movies would always be better than their previews. …the beer/pop/water/milk would always be the temperature I want it to be. …lattes would be free. …there would be a Monty Python Channel. …we could fly by ourselves and walk through walls and on water. …I could be sexy, clever and smart. …nobody’d litter. …nobody’d be hungry. Or homeless. Or afraid of their family. …I could understand algebra. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/2 "2001-09-09T02:49:26Z")
…I wouldn’t have to work. I could just play baseball all day and get laid after the game and they’d pay me for it. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/3 "2001-09-09T02:49:57Z")
Guttermouth’s song, “Perfect World” If I lived in a perfect world I would spend my days lying in the sun the party never ends in a perfect world if your life has hit the skids wave goodbye to the wife & kids I’m ready to move in to a perfect world nacho cheese and anarchy boy that sure sounds good to me every kind of drug is free in the new America shoot your pistol in the air celebrate a brand new year living leisurely in a perfect world everybody’s drinking hams Good by all you straight edge bands sit around and get a tan in the new America when I turn on my T.V. nothing but pornography no more rated “G” in a perfect world strung out hookers everywhere have a picnic feed the bears now nobody even cares In the new America Nothing in this worlds for free cause everything belongs to me No more green fees in a perfect world ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/4 "2001-09-09T03:03:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > **…there would be a Monty Python Channel…** Oh baby… oh baby, vavavoom! I love it when you talk that way! “In a perfect world Elvis Presley would be alive and all of the impersonaters would be dead.” [ul][/ul][ul][/ul][sup]JOHNNY CARSON (Courtesy of _Mangetout_) ---
**Author:** ![Trucido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@Trucido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trucido)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/5 "2001-09-09T05:34:20Z")
There wouldn’t be any humans in a perfect world. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/6 "2001-09-09T07:10:24Z")
Just look around and accept it, because this is it. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/7 "2001-09-09T14:42:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\* > …I could be sexy, clever and smart. > \*\* ``` You already are, honey. ``` ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/8 "2001-09-09T16:34:27Z")
Hmmmm…these late night posters are cynical. But that’s…okay. Trucido, I see your point. kniz, I see your point too, but I’m a little more idealistic, I guess. Monster…cool. Very cool. Crunchy, that could happen…right? Zenster, if you like the way I talk…you’d love my silly walk. lurker…aw shucks. You old sweetie. In a perfect world I could give you a big kiss for that one. ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/9 "2001-09-09T17:29:03Z")
A perfect world is where only myself and my loved ones exist, but I could get out to other’s worlds and visit. I read a short story by Isaac Asimov that had something like this. Earth was merely a giant teleportation centre to other planets (all uninhabited, naturally, and generally dead in terms of life and geology), which had one house each on them, with one family, and so on. That would be mightily cool. Or, if a nuclear war eliminates all but my loved ones, that’ll be fine as well. I love the cold, anyways… ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/10 "2001-09-09T17:49:53Z")
…life would have a soundtrack. …everyone will actually GIVE a shit about other people and will be nice and polite. …anarchy would work. …people could go on vacation to the moon. …concert and plane tickets wouldn’t cost so much. …Calvin and Hobbes would be back in the newspapers again. …Nickelodeon would bring back “Rocko’s Modern Life”. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/11 "2001-09-09T18:11:46Z")
…I wouldn’t have lied. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/12 "2001-09-09T18:12:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\*…I could understand algebra. \*\* I can’t help you with any of the others, but this one isn’t as hard as you think. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/13 "2001-09-09T18:12:23Z")
I’d be living with Una. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/14 "2001-09-09T18:17:10Z")
… I’d be living a lot closer to (or with) **Gunslinger**. … I’d have my own theme song. … Nobody would have allergies. … I’d have a kitten. … My English Comp professor wouldn’t harass me for being a Yankee. … All my socks would be clean. … I’d be skinnier and prettier and have good skin and natural grace. … Clouds would always make pretty shapes in the sky. … Bus tickets and gas would be less expensive. … Math would make sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/15 "2001-09-09T18:22:56Z")
I would be Emperor and I would finally clean up this place…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tattva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@Tattva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tattva)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/16 "2001-09-09T18:28:37Z")
I could tell everyone my secret! (shhhh) ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/17 "2001-09-09T19:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > > \*\*…I could understand algebra. \*\* > > I can’t help you with any of the others, but this one isn’t as hard as you think. \*\* Please…please, enlighten me. I’d do anything (just about) to have a better handle on math. And in a perfect world…I could make each of your worlds perfect with only a wish, and regret would be no more than a six-letter word. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/18 "2001-09-09T20:42:03Z")
“[Sir Thomas More’s] _Utopia_ has slaves. Do they think it’s utopia?” - **Hamish** ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/19 "2001-09-09T20:52:25Z")
In a perfect world I wouldn’t get “fan mail” like this about my Hate Crimes article: > [@](#): > > From: “\” \
> To: [arden\_ranger@yahoo.com](mailto:arden_ranger@yahoo.com) > Subject: dont obey your thirst for lust rather obey your Creator > > the bible says [stone homos] why dont you quote that! > it also says homosexuzlity is an [abomination] to God , quote that ! > HE [GOD] hated it so much , he literally BOMBED their homo den city. > get a grip lady , he created us and gave us rules - he created man and > woman where inlies your clue… > it is not really what a constitution says [man created that] rather it > is what GOD commanded , dont you think ? HE is the one homos will > ultimate have to answer to , not the constitution… > take the [serpentine]scales off of youe eyes :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468/20 "2001-09-09T21:25:03Z")
Arden, ``` I might comment that it is also written "Judge not, lest ye be judged." (funny how Fundies forget that one :D) If your writer is male, I hope he never masturbated, for Onan sinned when he spent his seed on the ground, and if female, it also says "Wives, be submissive to your husbands." so they should not worry about jobs, etc., and just do what hubby says. ``` Of course, I believe they also say the Devil can quote Scripture for his own use, so who am I to say… …ah, screw him… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-perfect-world/80468.md?page=2)