# In a pinch (Snort!!) what have you used instead of T.P.?

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-pinch-snort-what-have-you-used-instead-of-t-p/35052
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [September 29, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-pinch-snort-what-have-you-used-instead-of-t-p/35052 "2000-09-29T20:07:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 4
**Page:** 2

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### Author: ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2000, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-pinch-snort-what-have-you-used-instead-of-t-p/35052/21 "2000-09-30T11:43:41Z")

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**Baglady** -

That extra bit of info explains me pretty well. I’m a bit of a _real_ man (The football seating assignments), followed with alot of class (The Orpheum assignments).

I’m just as adept at attending a down and dirty football game as I am attending a showing of Madame Butterfly.

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### Author: ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-pinch-snort-what-have-you-used-instead-of-t-p/35052/22 "2000-09-30T16:55:39Z")

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About 8 billion cotton balls.

Thank God I didn’t have to resort to the Q-tips.

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### Author: ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2000, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-pinch-snort-what-have-you-used-instead-of-t-p/35052/23 "2000-09-30T18:32:55Z")

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I thought everybody did what I do: Use your underwear. (and then throw it away of course) I’ve lost at least 4 pair of underwear this way.

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### Author: ![Opus1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/858c86/32.png) [@Opus1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opus1)
#### Post date: [September 30, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-a-pinch-snort-what-have-you-used-instead-of-t-p/35052/24 "2000-09-30T20:27:10Z")

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A physics professor at my school told me a story about the time when he and a bunch of colleagues were travelling in China. There’s a picture of one man in which he is wearing socks. Another picture, taken a few hours later, shows him clearly sockless. Between the two pictures, he used an outhouse.

My professor commented that this man must have been quite an optimist to use both socks at once.

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