# In an B&D, S&M situation, what does "Vanilla" mean? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2001, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432 "2001-06-03T14:52:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/1 "2001-06-03T14:52:00Z")
Well? I thought I was sick and perverted, but I don’t know what this means! Not sure whether I’m happy or sad about that… ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/2 "2001-06-03T15:06:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > \*\*Well? I thought I was sick and perverted, but I don’t know what this means! > > Not sure whether I’m happy or sad about that… \*\* Vanilla means “not kinky” or “kinky only in the tiniest degree”. “Kinky” in this context means fetishes, scenes, and such, not necessarily “anything not missionary position heterosexual”. I’m gay and I’m quite vanilla. jayjay ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/3 "2001-06-03T17:47:56Z")
It can also be a relative term meaning “not nearly as kinky as the folks you happen be with right now.” When I’m with my co-workers, they’re vanilla and I’m the pervert. When I talk with my ex-girlfriend from college, however, I feel more vanilla than a gallon of Baskin-Robbins. ## –sublight. If everything’s relative, why isn’t incest more widely accepted? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/4 "2001-06-03T19:43:05Z")
I need a good opposite for “vanilla”, and so far the best I’ve managed to come up with is “Neapolitan.” ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/5 "2001-06-03T19:54:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I need a good opposite for “vanilla”, and so far the best I’ve managed to come up with is “Neapolitan.” \*\* “Death by Chocolate”? Maybe “Smurf”. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/6 "2001-06-03T22:17:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I need a good opposite for “vanilla”, and so far the best I’ve managed to come up with is “Neapolitan.” \*\* Rocky Road. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/7 "2001-06-03T22:33:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I need a good opposite for “vanilla”, and so far the best I’ve managed to come up with is “Neapolitan.” \*\* Whipped cream ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/8 "2001-06-04T00:31:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I need a good opposite for “vanilla”, and so far the best I’ve managed to come up with is “Neapolitan.” \*\* Aside from all of the witty ice cream references given so far, most of the “opposite” terms for the BDSM term “vanilla” simply refer to ourselves: Doms/Dommes, subs, etc. I don’t think there’s a single noun that describes someone into BDSM or D/s. This reply, of course, presumes that you weren’t _also_ trying to be flavourful… Now, how’s that for a double entendre? ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/9 "2001-06-04T00:47:39Z")
I always quite likes “KAFfy” (pronounced in a v. american way - cf: coffee). For “Kinky As F\*\*k - y”. Fran ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/10 "2001-06-04T05:00:38Z")
That’s more or less what I thought it must mean… but I had never run across it until the other night when I was surfing po… uh, educational materials. I guess I must be more “vanilla” than I thought; there’s some really _sick_ stuff out there if you just take the time to dig it up!😉 ---
**Author:** ![Azura\_Borealis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ab992/32.png) [@Azura\_Borealis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azura_Borealis)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/11 "2001-06-04T11:04:04Z")
Vanilla is defined, within the BDSM lifestyle - as anyone who does not engage in or prefer sexual BDSM practices. Or people who prefer Plain Sex It doesn’t matter your degree of kink… the type of kink… or the frequency of recurring kink - it simply seperates Lifestylers, from those who have no role or interest in the sexual aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. I suppose the most severe opposite of Vanilla Icecream, would be … hmmm - Leather Flogger Dough? PVC Vinyl Chip? Cat-O-Nine Tails Crunch? Neck Shackle Sorbet? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/12 "2001-06-04T13:45:00Z")
Matt - Butter Brickle. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-b-d-s-m-situation-what-does-vanilla-mean/67432/13 "2001-06-04T13:49:03Z")
try to do a name search on myself, and what do I find?..😉