# In an ideal scenario, how frequently would you have sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 20, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297 "2011-10-20T22:17:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/61 "2011-10-21T18:13:46Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > There’s no correlation between seeking out prostitutes and sex drive. Although I have a high sex drive, I’ve no desire to sleep with a stranger, even one who is paid for sex. Seriously. For generations it’s been super taboo for a woman to seek out a prostitute for sex, and he thinks we should just overthrow that in a century. Plus, men can’t get pregnant, a fear women always have. Even nowadays, if a man goes to a prostitute once or twice in his life, he is not automatically reviled by everyone. People may think he’s a bit of a loser, or maybe it was Vegas, or something. If a woman went to a prostitute…I can’t even imagine what people would say about her. No one would understand it. ---
**Author:** ![wellanuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@wellanuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wellanuff)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/62 "2011-10-21T20:58:22Z")
Male, 48. Twice a day every day would be the ideal. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/63 "2011-10-21T21:26:53Z")
Twice a day weekdays, 2-6 times a day on weekends depending. Male, 26. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/64 "2011-10-21T21:28:08Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > If a woman went to a prostitute…I can’t even imagine what people would say about her. No one would understand it. I think a lot of guys might think that was cool, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/65 "2011-10-21T22:03:49Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > I really hate these threads. All the women are all “oh, ALL the time!” all innocent-like. “What do you mean, most women don’t want frequent sex?” > > Do the normal women just not respond to these threads? More women who like sex will respond to a thread like this I think. With a group of girlfriends, maybe six or seven, we discussed how many times we wanted it. The consensus was two to three times. I was surprised until it emerged the others were talking about per week rather than per day. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Carmady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@Carmady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carmady)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/66 "2011-10-22T00:04:29Z")
The thread title says “in an ideal scenario.” It stands to reason that the amount of sex would be much higher in an ideal scenario than in any scenario likely to occur in real life. At a minimum, my ideal scenario makes me a superhuman Don Juan with a woman who is a perfect match for me in every way, and no stresses like money or long working hours to get in the way. So, 3-6 times a day. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/67 "2011-10-22T05:20:53Z")
Female, 30s, once a day, and maybe once a month we have a weekend where we basically don’t come up for air. We’re talking ideal, of course. The realities of life usually conspire to make sure it doesn’t happen more than 4 or 5 times a week. I did manage to burn myself out on sex, once. We were at a pace of 2 to 3 times a day, every day, for about a month or a little more. It was great for the first few weeks. The last week or so kind of made me tired. We scaled back a little (more around once a day) and things were fine. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/68 "2011-10-22T05:27:42Z")
Male, 44. Maximum once a day normally, though at other times three or four times a day. And there was this one girl about three years ago… just being in her presence was enough to want it ALL the time. I have an inconsistent, circumstantial libido I guess. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/69 "2011-10-22T06:16:36Z")
About 4 or 5 times a week. With life getting in the way we may go a couple days then make up for it. We have a three day rule: after three days of being too busy or tired, we make it a point to make time for it. We’ve failed the rule a couple times, but being able to joke we were violating the rule let each other know we were still close and hot for each other, just completely dead ass tired and in the middle if work projects. It was a way of saying “I haven’t forgotten you” 🙂 But most of the time we don’t make three days… ETA - that is my real life, but I consider my real life situation pretty ideal. ---
**Author:** ![markdash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@markdash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markdash)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/70 "2011-10-22T06:25:36Z")
Male, 33. Twice or 3 times a week. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/71 "2011-10-22T07:05:27Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Naw, I think the line of thinking is “I’m not getting laid as much as I’d like- so the problem must be with women, somehow. It can’t possibly be that women don’t want to have sex with me personally (I mean, who wouldn’t?) so it must be that they just hate sex in general! Those people who beg to differ? Uhhh. They must be abnormal- and I’m going to throw some passive-agressive nice guy ‘women are coy/liars/whatever’ in there as well! Resolved: I get rejected because women reject all men, the bitches.” > > Remember, any random guy is a better authority on your sexuality than your own feeble female brain! Well, that was a surprise. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/72 "2011-10-22T07:22:07Z")
3-4 times a week. Male, mid-40s. OTOH, the rate I’m actually getting it is far fewer, which is causing strain in the marriage. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/73 "2011-10-22T09:10:06Z")
Woman 44 years old here. [Sex isn’t a priority for everyone](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=270356). Me, priorities ranking just as high or higher then sex are a pleasant clean home and rest/leisure time. I had great sex yesterday, but once a week or once every two weeks is fine with me. The first two years of a relationship are very intense, sex wise. A sexuologist I took a class from mentioned the “jar of beans” -theory. Here is the therory: > [@](#): > > In the first two years, a couple should put a bean in the jar for every time they have sex. The rest of their married life, they should take a bean out of the jar for every time they have sex. The jar will never get empty. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/74 "2011-10-22T12:12:33Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > More women who like sex will respond to a thread like this I think. With a group of girlfriends, maybe six or seven, we discussed how many times we wanted it. The consensus was two to three times. I was surprised until it emerged the others were talking about per week rather than per day. :smack: Presumably they were talking about sex with their current partner in their current circumstances, which may be far from the ideal situation. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/75 "2011-10-22T16:20:07Z")
This thread reminds me of an old article that coined the term “[Going to Tukwila](http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19900130&slug=1053425)”. A newlywed couple who [later](http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19901230&slug=1112053) in the year nearly got sex on par with food - three times a day plus snacks. ---
**Author:** ![UncleNito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7cd45c/32.png) [@UncleNito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleNito)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/76 "2011-10-22T16:33:49Z")
Ideal: 4-6 times per week. Actual: 1-2 times per week. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![studmuffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@studmuffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/studmuffin)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/77 "2011-10-22T16:39:16Z")
I’m interested in the mythical 3 times-a-day men. If you ejaculate at your 10am dalliance, there will be painful dry humps at the other two. The body can’t replenish seminal fluids in 4 hours. Just stop it, you’re not impressing anyone ☹ ---
**Author:** ![UncleNito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7cd45c/32.png) [@UncleNito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleNito)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/78 "2011-10-22T16:43:52Z")
> [@UncleNito](#): > > Ideal: 4-6 times per week. > Actual: 1-2 times per week. ☹ Missed the edit window: 33 y/o married male. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/79 "2011-10-22T17:54:41Z")
> [@studmuffin](#): > > If you ejaculate at your 10am dalliance, there will be painful dry humps at the other two. So you’ve never wanted to orgasm more than once a day? Were you never a teenager? Or indulge in a marathon session? Normal orgasms are never painful, even if you’re shooting up dust. Three times a day would be great IMO, but I’m still in my 20s and relatively fit. If “ideally” means no work, no stress, and a variety of eager partners I could see going to 4 or maybe 5, although after three to six months of that I may be a dessicated shell of a man or in a coma. I’d be willing to take that risk though. As for [gender differences in sexual drive (warning: pdf)](http://www.csom.umn.edu/assets/71520.pdf) they’re pretty self evident I think. And that’s ignoring the large segment of women suffering (or not, from their POV) from anorgasmia. How often would the penny jar test fail against a healthy man? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/80 "2011-10-22T21:08:38Z")
> [@studmuffin](#): > > I’m interested in the mythical 3 times-a-day men. > > If you ejaculate at your 10am dalliance, there will be painful dry humps at the other two. > > The body can’t replenish seminal fluids in 4 hours. > > Just stop it, you’re not impressing anyone ☹ Sucks to be you, I guess. Until my mid-40s, my recovery period was roughly half an hour. It isn’t anywhere near that anymore, but age eventually catches up with you. Back during my single days, I once beat off 10 times in a day, just to see if I could do it. The only hard part was staying on task, so to speak - after the first four or five orgasms, I’d had more than enough from an emotional standpoint, and was ready to go do something else with my day. I was hardly up against any physical limitations; I’m sure I could have had several more orgasms that day with the proper incentives, like a couple of attractive naked women cheering me on and handing me a $100 bill after each orgasm. And no, I didn’t run out of fluid. Sheesh. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297.md?page=5)