# In an ideal scenario, how frequently would you have sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 20, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297 "2011-10-20T22:17:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/101 "2011-10-25T04:51:44Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Nonstop until I died, with a big smile on my face. > **[Caring for Your Turtle](https://pbfcomics.com/comics/caring-for-your-turtle/)** > > The Perry Bible Fellowship > [@msmith537](#): > > Are we talking with the same girl? _Gooooood_ question! šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![MissesA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@MissesA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissesA)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/102 "2011-10-25T05:23:19Z")
3 times a day ---
**Author:** ![MissesA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@MissesA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissesA)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/103 "2011-10-25T05:28:03Z")
Oh I had to tell you how old I was well Im 24. But I really donā€™t think age has anything to do with it. I know I have some friends the same age as me call me a freak (which I am), but I am also happily engaged. And my significant other which is 34 would love to do it more than that, but come on I have to make him work for it lmao, ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/104 "2011-10-25T11:21:24Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Thereā€™s a lot of things that ainā€™t right in the world. In the grand scheme of things, this is pretty far down the list. > > If I couldnā€™t laugh about it, then Iā€™d really be in trouble. Yes, of course. And Iā€™m glad you can laugh about it, I guess. But Iā€™m still hoping things change for you. Sex is fun. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Romeo_and_Whatsherface)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/105 "2011-10-25T13:30:55Z")
Female, 55, daily. When my kids were little, less often because I was exhausted. Other than that, Iā€™ve always liked frequent sex. I think women over, say, 45, do tend to be more sexual than women in their 20ā€™s and 30ā€™s, but itā€™s a wide spectrum. I also have to wonder if people are more apt to read/respond to this thread if they like sex frequently, or at least more frequently than theyā€™re getting it. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/106 "2011-10-25T14:30:41Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > So now the women who do want sex are abnormal? Yes! But not in a bad way. Inheriting a million bucks from a relative you didnā€™t know existed is abnormal, too. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/107 "2011-10-25T19:56:30Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > Sex is fun. Yeah, Iā€™ve heard good things about it. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/108 "2011-10-25T20:31:08Z")
Yā€™know, the sad truth of it is that women probably just are not the hugely sexual creatures that men are. I mean, there really is a simple way to illustrate this: Women do not experience the near-constant background horniness that men have to live with. Thatā€™s even been confirmed by a few of the posters in this thread, such as what **rhubarbarin** said: > [@rhubarbarin](#): > > Woman, 26, every day would be ideal. I like it and it puts me in a good mood. **But I can do just fine going without for over a week, too. Frequency increases desire for me.** > Of my female friends, there are those who want it AT LEAST every other day, and those who hardly want to at all (ie no sex drive). Very little middle ground. Most guys have an almost constant mind for sex (meaning that itā€™ll be on their mind, at least fleetingly, several times throughout a given day), whereas women routinely go days, if not weeks, without even having a sexual thought; they typically arenā€™t ā€œalways onā€ like men tend to be. I donā€™t want to sound crass or anything here, but thatā€™s just generally where Iā€™ve come to stand on this topic. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/109 "2011-10-25T22:07:47Z")
Speak for yourself. 31 yo female here. When I went on an SSRI a few months ago, I was warned that it might diminish my sex drive. Well, if it has, itā€™s only done so enough that I can think about something else occasionally. šŸ™‚ (Only very slight hyperbole.) Concur that frequency increases desire. A dry spell has a way of stretching itself out, while a really good romp has a way of making me go ā€œletā€™s do that again as soon as humanly possible.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/110 "2011-10-25T22:24:49Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Yeah, Iā€™ve heard good things about it. Do we need to ask someone here to take one for the team and help you out with this, Robot Arm. I mean, you are really making me sad here. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/111 "2011-10-25T22:34:57Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > Do we need to ask someone here to take one for the team and help you out with this, Robot Arm. I mean, you are really making me sad here. > > šŸ™‚ I nominate **not what youā€™d expect** ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/112 "2011-10-25T22:44:08Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > I nominate **not what youā€™d expect** You know, I might consider it, but I am really old. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/113 "2011-10-25T22:53:49Z")
We usually get in 2 or 3 rounds a week, but those are typically confined to the weekends. Sometimes we have a little after-work delight on Mondays. But Tuesday and Thursday my husband teaches martial arts and isnā€™t home until 9 or later, and he trains every other Wednesday, which means heā€™s home closer to 10. Fridays we go to the in-lawsā€™ and often arenā€™t home until 11. How about I just say reality 2, ideal 4. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/114 "2011-10-25T23:16:00Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > Do we need to ask someone here to take one for the team and help you out with this, Robot Arm. No, thanks, but I appreciate the thought. And I like to maintain the illusion that Iā€™m not quite such an ogre that I have to rely on someone ā€œtaking one for the teamā€. Not that I want to discourage anyone whoā€™s genuinely interested, either. > [@](#): > > I mean, you are really making me sad here. Donā€™t be. Someone said this thread would be self-selecting. Iā€™m just trying to keep the numbers balanced a little bit. Maybe Iā€™m just a contrarian at heart. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/115 "2011-10-26T00:05:42Z")
[quote=ā€œRobot\_Arm, post:114, topic:600297ā€] No, thanks, but I appreciate the thought. And I like to maintain the illusion that Iā€™m not quite such an ogre that I have to rely on someone ā€œtaking one for the teamā€. Oh gosh, my joke was not meant to insult. Iā€™m sorry. I really really suck as a comic. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/116 "2011-10-26T00:18:04Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Nonstop until I died, with a big smile on my face. +1 ā€¦and donā€™t think I wonā€™t :D. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/117 "2011-10-26T00:23:44Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > Oh gosh, my joke was not meant to insult. Iā€™m sorry. Not to worry, I knew it was tongue in cheek. Just turning it back on you. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/118 "2011-10-26T03:01:31Z")
once would be nice. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/119 "2011-10-26T03:31:27Z")
If sex were still a quick and easy process, and if there was plenty of time and no outside obligations, then everyday would be lovely. But between long days and painful joints and the need for a large quantity of time to be devoted to the event, I now vote for every other day or maybe just twice a week. But Iā€™m in a long-distance thing and only get to physically be with him every couple months, so we take good advantage of the time we have when we are together. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/120 "2011-10-26T03:41:21Z")
As to the issue of this being self-selecting and male female differences ā€¦ some more [objective information](http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare): > [@](#): > > ā€œMen want sex more often than women at the start of a relationship, in the middle of it, and after many years of it,ā€ Baumeister concludes after reviewing several surveys of men and women. This isnā€™t just true of heterosexuals, he reports: gay men also have higher frequency of sex than lesbians at all stages of the relationship. Men also say they want more sex partners in their lifetime, and are more interested in casual sex. ā€¦ FWIW. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297.md?page=7)