# In an ideal scenario, how frequently would you have sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 20, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297 "2011-10-20T22:17:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/141 "2011-10-28T02:04:31Z")
One other thing to point out: Sex actually _is_ a necessity if you believe Maslow’s hierarchy of needs; it falls under the absolute basic physiological needs that all humans have to meet before they can address any of the other needs of life. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/142 "2011-10-28T07:58:53Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > As to the issue of this being self-selecting and male female differences … some more [objective information](http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare): > FWIW. :rolleyes: That guy’s clearly some social loser trying to justify why his sexual advances get rejected by real women so often.\* \*According to the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![phantom\_lamb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@phantom\_lamb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phantom_lamb)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/143 "2011-10-28T10:57:35Z")
Depends on the situation. Say, regular work days while living at home - once every few days is nice. Together on a tropical island vacation, and all the free time and relaxation in the world - twice a day. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/144 "2011-10-28T14:21:24Z")
Assuming there are no other barriers like the need to have a job for money, and I ca focus exclusively on eroticism – two to three times per day, with occasional breaks because of penile soreness. Not always with the same woman, of course. In fact, the number of partners would probably have a significant impact on my ideal frequency. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/145 "2011-10-28T14:42:38Z")
Probably about five times a week. There are some days when I just don’t feel like it. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/146 "2011-10-28T15:18:14Z")
Why is this thread not a poll? Anyone not as lazy as I wanna post up something I can vote in? For science! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/147 "2011-10-28T18:11:56Z")
I’ll take “Every possible opportunity for $1000, Alex!” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/148 "2011-10-29T07:21:11Z")
Any time in the last five years would’ve been good. Three or four times a week, with the occasional “several times in one day” event sounds right to me. I am a 42 year old male with, apart from a singular brief period, an entire lifetime of no sex at all. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/149 "2011-10-29T10:01:36Z")
Male 37 Twice daily maybe. If there’s someone lying next to me in bed then my hormones get pretty ramped up. But if I’ve been single awhile I don’t miss it all that much. Out of sight out of mind. In sight, constant desire. Plus or minus based on attractiveness level and skill of my playmate. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/150 "2011-10-29T17:38:51Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > Most guys have an almost constant mind for sex (meaning that it’ll be on their mind, at least fleetingly, several times throughout a given day), whereas women routinely go days, if not weeks, without even having a sexual thought; they typically aren’t “always on” like men tend to be. > > I don’t want to sound crass or anything here, but that’s just generally where I’ve come to stand on this topic. Actually, I’d say I think about sex and have sexual feelings all the time (multiple times daily); it’s just that what with daily life and scheduling difficulties, I won’t necessarily put in the effort to have it with my SO every day, and it doesn’t drive me crazy to go without. I’m also not physically attracted to many people which is very different for most men (every day they see all kinds of people they’re strongly attracted to - if I had this problem I don’t know how I’d function!) But yes, I’d agree that in general most women have less of a ‘drive’ than most men. I think a lot of it is strictly hormonal; men are technically fertile 365 days a year, we are only fertile for one 24-hour period every 26-35 days (or not at all for months or years while on hormonal birth control/pregnant), at the culmination of a complicated cycle involving many different hormones. ETA: To me, sex is the entire point of a romantic relationship. Otherwise, it’s just a friendship. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/151 "2011-11-04T22:39:19Z")
Look, I’m not going to deny that the nonsense of everyday life hasn’t been able to impede my sex drive. Hell, there have times when I’ve very obviously been horny yet have likewise been so gawddamn TIRED or EXHAUSTED that I didn’t particularly feel the desire to go through the processes of assuaging my libido. All of which is to say that, yes, on some level I can understand where you’re coming from. But the thing is, getting to that point, I think, is far more difficult for men than it is for women due in large part to the background horniness I mentioned earlier. And again, women don’t really experience that on the same level that men do. How do you reconcile your passive horniness (don’t really know how else to describe it) with the constant horniness of the typical guy? Is there a middle ground? I’ve heard it time and time again, ironically, from BOTH sexes; this idea that a sexually frustrated relationship is a doomed relationship, and that that concept applies to either gender. But c’mon, how often is the WOMAN more highly sexed than the man? That just doesn’t happen outside of extremely unlikely circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/152 "2011-11-04T23:10:49Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > Women do not experience the near-constant background horniness that men have to live with. > Most guys have an almost constant mind for sex (meaning that it’ll be on their mind, at least fleetingly, several times throughout a given day), whereas women routinely go days, if not weeks, without even having a sexual thought; they typically aren’t “always on” like men tend to be. This is not in keeping with my experience. Do you have a citation? It’s a claim I often hear, but I’ve never seen any research about it. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/153 "2011-11-05T03:15:08Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > This is not in keeping with my experience. > > Do you have a citation? > > It’s a claim I often hear, but I’ve never seen any research about it. Just think [about it](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs0a3CQVqxw). Note: this is not serious research. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297/154 "2011-11-05T18:39:22Z")
For me, I intellectually want sex far more than I biologically want sex. I know that once I get naked and into the act I’ll enjoy it immensely and be very satisfied with the results, and happier in the long run. But I have to make an actual decision to do that, most of the time. I rarely just feel horny naturally. Not to say it doesn’t happen, because it does. But it doesn’t happen often. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-an-ideal-scenario-how-frequently-would-you-have-sex/600297.md?page=7)