# In contemporary American society, is it wrong to marry for reasons other than love? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 27, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271 "2010-09-27T20:52:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271/21 "2010-09-28T01:21:24Z")
I do have an objection. Someone once offered me the role of groom in a arranged marriage, for immigration purposes. I wouldn’t go along with it. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271/22 "2010-09-28T01:29:19Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I do have an objection. Someone once offered me the role of groom in a arranged marriage, for immigration purposes. I wouldn’t go along with it. Why not? According to my research, hilariy ensues, and then you and the bride fall in love with each other. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271/23 "2010-09-28T03:39:10Z")
I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to marry for reasons other than love. However I do think there are forms of consensual, informed marriage that are morally wrong. I think relationships vastly unequal power dynamics are almost always inherently morally questionable. I also think that every case of using someone as a means to an end is questionable, even if both parties perceive a benefit. Disregarding a person’s humanity and treating them as an object is morally wrong, and it doesn’t really make it better that the other party happens to be doing the same thing- two wrongs don’t make a right and all that. Every human interaction- from making a purchase to having a baby- should involve some basic respect for the other people involved. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271/24 "2010-09-28T03:51:15Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > > > I do have an objection. Someone once offered me the role of groom in a arranged marriage, for immigration purposes. I wouldn’t go along with it. > > Why not? According to my research, hilariy ensues, and then you and the bride fall in love with each other. My concern was about the possibility of a prison term ensuing. A Federal pound in the ass prison. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271/25 "2010-09-28T04:15:40Z")
As long as everyone in the marriage _knows_ about it I don’t see it as wrong. If a person is marrying another person for financial reasons, as long as the other spouse is aware of that I don’t see a problem. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271/26 "2010-09-28T05:27:30Z")
What about if you’re afraid you’ll be alone? What if you have a fucked up view of realtionships and are marrying b/c you’re trying to convince yourself that a first real relationship is THE ONE? I know a case where a chick grew up with VERY few friends and is “self medicating” with the dude b/c she has very little real relationship experiance and is convinced that Martin is THE ONE…a very effed up relationship…sigh ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271/27 "2010-09-28T05:32:51Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > What about if you’re afraid you’ll be alone? What if you have a fucked up view of realtionships and are marrying b/c you’re trying to convince yourself that a first real relationship is THE ONE? I know a case where a chick grew up with VERY few friends and is “self medicating” with the dude b/c she has very little real relationship experiance and is convinced that Martin is THE ONE…a very effed up relationship..sigh Forget it dude. She’ll never realize Martin is a bum, and you could provide her the life she deserves. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-contemporary-american-society-is-it-wrong-to-marry-for-reasons-other-than-love/555271.md?page=1)