# In Cultures Where Families Strongly Push For Achievement, What Happens If You Don't ... Achieve? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2023, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062 "2023-04-22T23:25:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/41 "2023-04-27T02:50:15Z")
That’s kind of my point. For a lot of people, college has nothing to do with getting “exposed to the world” or “the knowledge and wisdom of others”. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/42 "2023-04-27T12:47:02Z")
As @Mighty_Mouse noted, that article is very dated. Note that article is 10 years old and it’s a Japan fluff piece from a Japan fluff site and simply reflects the standard, “everyone knows this” without any nuances. A photo search shows that the pictures come, without credit, from a blog > **[Day of Reckoning: The University of Tokyo Announces Its Entrance Exam Results](https://amoderngirl.wordpress.com/2011/03/10/day-of-reckoning-the-university-of-tokyo-announces-its-entrance-exam-results/)** > > On my way to renew my library books today, I unwittingly stumbled onto a mass of activity the likes of which I’d never seen on the University of Tokyo campus. I’m generally struck by how quiet the … which has this notice. > [@](#): > > If you wish to use my photos on your own site or get larger versions of them, please contact me. If you receive permission to use my photos, you must credit me when using the photo elsewhere and provide a link back to this blog or to my Flickr site. And this credit should be visibly connected to the photo(s) that you have used (i.e. if you’ve used my photos and those of others somewhere, don’t cite all of us in a batch after the fact, but give each photographer credit for the specific photo he/she took). Fluff sites that steal pictures from blogs aren’t particularly trustworthy. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/43 "2023-04-27T13:30:16Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Fluff sites that steal pictures from blogs aren’t particularly trustworthy. Thank you for this wonderful detective work! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/44 "2023-04-27T19:33:46Z")
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Tride](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tride/32/13907_2.png) [@Tride](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tride)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/45 "2023-04-27T20:01:08Z")
I went to a semi-fancy college (Wesleyan) and became a carpenter because I wanted to ski, I liked working outdoors, and it was way more mentally stimulating than working in an office (for me). It’s also totally broken down my body. My 85 YO Dad is still working because he loves his job (architect), and can’t figure out why I’m not a PM on some crazy project down at the Yellowstone Club. A) I don’t need the money B) I don’t need 55 hour weeks C) I don’t need to be dealing with those clients. Making things with your hands is cool. Management is not cool, or fun. Skied 65 days this year, too. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/46 "2023-04-27T21:26:47Z")
I grew up in a family that was, at best, lower middle class. My mother was a HS dropout and my father may have finished HS (it wasn’t clear). Nonetheless, in a Jewish family the only acceptable career was to be a doctor or lawyer. I definitely knew I didn’t want to be a lawyer and was interested in science, so I pretended, not really believing it, that I wanted to be a doctor. So when I studied math instead, it was a great disappointment to them. A friend of my father’s imagined I would spend my days adding long columns of figures. Even accountants didn’t do that by then. I guess they were a little proud when I got a PhD; I’m not sure. Then my brother came along. He was bright, but barely finished HS. He joined Air Force and when he came out with the GI bill, he decided that maybe college was a good idea. He finished and went into computing. By that time my parents were just happy he had a profession. Then came my sister. She just had no interest in academics and got married at 19. Greatly disappointing my parents. Some day I may tell the story of her wedding (interrupted by a trip to a hospital for a D&C for a spontaneous miscarriage). But they got used to it. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2023, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/47 "2023-04-27T22:13:01Z")
And the ones who go there to party usually (emphasize USUALLY) don’t last very long. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2023, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/48 "2023-04-28T14:52:40Z")
People have their own weird ideas of what “achievement” looks like. For some reason, my younger brother was considered the “successful” one in my family because he’s worked his entire career at the same Fortune 500 company. Meanwhile, I’ve worked a string of lucrative jobs for mostly tech companies and management consultancies in Manhattan. But my parents don’t really understand what my job is or what I do so they just think I have an unstable career hopping from job to job. Even at my mom’s funeral, one of her friends was like “your mom confided in me that she was always worried about one of her sons, but she never told me which one”. I could tell she was strongly implying that it was me. My response was “Do you think she was worried about the son who owns a waterfront condo overlooking Manhattan or the one who lives in Buttfuckville, OH selling toothpaste?” Personally, I don’t think most corporate jobs as a major “achievement” unless you are like the CEO or founding a startup or something. maybe if you do something that’s actually useful, like construct a suspension bridge or build a hospital. > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > And the ones who go there to party usually (emphasize USUALLY) don’t last very long. I don’t think that’s necessarily true in my experience. My college was a big party school and I certainly knew a number of people who partied their way out. But most seemed to manage their studies and going to the bars and fraternity parties on the weekends. I would say there was also a not insignificant number of students whose parents were connected enough to simply just make “achievement” happen. I’m involved in a Wall Street alumni group with my college and listening to some of these guys speak, they really do sound like massive entitled douche bags whose Daddy set them up with their golf buddy who runs a hedge fund. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2023, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/49 "2023-04-28T15:44:20Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > People have their own weird ideas of what “achievement” looks like. For some reason, my younger brother was considered the “successful” one in my family because he’s worked his entire career at the same Fortune 500 company. Meanwhile, I’ve worked a string of lucrative jobs for mostly tech companies and management consultancies in Manhattan. But my parents don’t really understand what my job is or what I do so they just think I have an unstable career hopping from job to job. Are you my brother??? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2023, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062/50 "2023-04-28T22:17:45Z")
I would certainly consider my old co-worker’s son, who has Down syndrome and works as a grocery bagger, to be pretty darned successful in his own right. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-cultures-where-families-strongly-push-for-achievement-what-happens-if-you-dont-achieve/983062.md?page=2)