I’m getting free HBO right now (Verizon is trying to distract me from realizing that they just jacked up my monthly fee by 10%), so I just got around to seeing this movie. And, I guess it was OK, but there was a lot not to like about the movie.
a. Batman was a straight-out psychopath. Example: He wanted to steal the kryptonite from Lexcorp. So, does the world’s greatest detective arrange a clever heist? Nope. Goes tearing after the convoy in (effectively) a tank, exposing hapless citizens to the dangers of gun fire, anti-tank weapons, and, oh yeah, the Batmobile blasting through actual buildings.
b. Superman was a mopey emo.
c. Physics. Dammit, just because someone is wearing armor doesn’t mean they can get thrown through multiple walls and floors and get punched hard enough to crack steel and/or kevlar and shrug it off. Armor doesn’t work that way. [archer]Watch an episode of Mythbusters, will you?[/archer] Oh, and especially, after duking it out with the Man of Steel, you are not, no matter what your physical conditioning, going to be able to take on ten or fifteen goons in hand-to-hand combat. The most favorable outcome is collapsing on the batcouch and eating handfuls of Advil for a couple of weeks. But realistically, Batman underwent the kind of G-forces that should have had him leaking out of that armor like juice from a strawberry turnover.
d. After Batman and Superman became buddies, why did Batman have to go rescue Martha instead of the invulnerable guy who is really, really, really fast?
e. Why, in this gritty universe of angsty superheroes, do they let Lex Luthor monologue instead of slicing him into ribbons with heat vision?
f. More physics. Wonder Woman is extremely tough but not, I think, invulnerable. Batman is just a guy in kevlar. When the final Boss does his pulse explosions that knock down buildings, just how do those heroes survive? Diving under wreckage isn’t going to do the job. Again, look at what happens to pressure sensors when the Mythbusters get going with the explosiony things.
g. Volte-facing: Batman goes from “Superman must die” to “We’re best buddies” very quickly. Too quickly.