# In Defense of Plain Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 13, 2018, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840 "2018-07-13T14:10:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/41 "2018-07-14T00:16:46Z")
Just about. I would have mentioned tartare, but that is hardly “plain.” ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/42 "2018-07-14T00:23:34Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > As far as I’m concerned, it’s lettuce and whatever vegetables come on it with no dressing. I eat my salad with no dressing. Frequently when I tell the server I don’t want dressing the reaction is a horrified look as if I’d ordered a roasted newborn baby. Followed by “Y-you want it - - - - - - - -DRY???” I avoid the temptation to answer “If your salad could be accurately described as dry, pouring disgusting goop on it wouldn’t help it any.” ---
**Author:** ![Fair\_Rarity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fair_rarity/32/153_2.png) [@Fair\_Rarity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fair_Rarity)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/43 "2018-07-14T01:09:33Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > We order pizzas here at work for people’s birthdays. I once made the observation that few people seem to say “Order plain cheese” when asked what kind to get but a plain cheese pizza is always the first to go. Ughhhhhhhh we had the most control freak office manager about 15 years ago (I’M STILL MAD) who made this whole big deal about asking only certain people what they wanted on their pizzas and went to a place realllllllllllllly far away instead of any of our locally-based customers who would have really appreciated our business and been helpful to urge them to utilize _us_. She came back with all these weirdo things and not a single fucking cheese pizza. And it was cold. And it was way, way after most of us normally ate lunch. I’d say you’ve got to get a good 1/3 to 1/2 of your group pizzas cheese only. Very few people who eat pizza won’t eat cheese. It gives the pizza eaters at least an option for a slice before you get into religious and dietary restrictions, nevermind preferences. So clearly I too and a plain stuff eater, generally speaking. I might put ketchup and cheese on my burger, but I don’t want actual real vegetables. I like those things… just not together. Plain chips, tortillas, simple tacos. I generally don’t have _bland_ food, but I don’t have unnecessary foams and aioli and capers etc etc etc. I think it’s because I don’t like my food generally to touch my other food. Even if I like both of those said foods. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/44 "2018-07-14T01:10:05Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > But vanilla softserve does something to my soul. Makes me happy. I’m with you there. Mmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/45 "2018-07-14T02:32:17Z")
Good barbecue don’t need no sauce. The Ukulele Lady tonight confided she calls for no dressing on her salad…the individual lettuces offered in a good restaurant each have their own individual delicious flavor. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/46 "2018-07-14T03:56:01Z")
> [@Fair\_Rarity](#): > > Ughhhhhhhh we had the most control freak office manager . . . and went to a place realllllllllllllly far away. . . My first thought is that she was getting kickbacks. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/47 "2018-07-14T04:24:12Z")
When the meat and bread are good, a perfect sammich should be comprised of bread, meat, bread. Anyone good at running a smoker will tell you to try the meat without the sauce first. Sometimes, they actually do know what they’re doing, and that’s the way to go for the whole meal. I however, want my homeland to be infected by this problem of cheese being forced on your burger. I’ve absent-mindedly ordered a hamburger and was sad when it arrived with no cheese. The only person I’ve personally known to intentionally order a hamburger without cheese was my mother, and I still shake my head in wonder when I think about it -she _enjoyed_ them that way. [Same planet, different worlds.](http://i.imgur.com/aYrLvq5.jpg) ETA: Oh yeah, a decent steak should be treated to only salt, pepper and fire. The more moo you can leave in the middle, the better. My loony dad didn’t even want a mallard reaction on his ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/48 "2018-07-14T04:32:19Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > My loony dad didn’t even want a **mallard** reaction on his He didn’t want anyone to show his burger to a duck? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/49 "2018-07-14T05:17:30Z")
Bourbon and branch. One cube. I don’t drink but I always wanted to say that. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/50 "2018-07-14T13:44:49Z")
Why is frosting something people only eat on cake? Plain cake is fine, and I’ll eat plain vanilla frosting with a spoon. And, as Alice May Brock said in her cookbook “Anything with whipped cream is bound to be a hit. I know some people who would be content to eat plain whipped cream with a spoon (Bet you would be too)” ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/51 "2018-07-14T14:34:22Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > I like toppings on my hot dogs. brown mustard, relish, kraut maybe but often I just want to enjoy a plain hot dog in a bun (or even not in a bun sometimes). > > While I will eat sesame seed, poppy seed or egg bagels, I will always prefer plain ones. Don’t even need cream cheese or butter. I can and will just eat one like a doughnut. > > Speaking of doughnuts, I like plain ones of those too. I go back and forth. Sometimes I want a burger with just cheese and ketchup. Sometimes I want a bunch of stuff. I would never, however, eat a bagel like a doughnut. Bagels need something (not toasting, though). My favorite doughnuts are plain cake, but I also like the other kind. > [@](#): > > Vanilla ice cream with nothing on it? Yes please. Vanilla ice cream might _look_ plain, but in my mind vanilla flavoring is fundamentally the opposite of plain. Having said that, I almost always go for chocolate ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/52 "2018-07-14T15:41:44Z")
The man of the house likes his meat slathered in something called Montreal seasoning. I die. I may start using separate pans for his food. That stuff is the nasty ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/53 "2018-07-14T16:06:38Z")
My husband worked in an office with several women. They ordered pizza now and then, and they got things like whole wheat crust with broccoli, or feta cheese, or pineapple and ham. He and the other guy wanted a traditional plain old pepperoni pizza. So the pepperoni and the ‘exotic’ pizzas arrived, and guess, just guess, which pizza disappeared as soon as the lid of the box was lifted? He used to get so mad! He’d have to drop everything at pizza time and be the first one to grab a slice of pepperoni pizza before it was gone. (he said the whole-wheat-and-spinach pizzas and such had plenty of leftover slices. So why didn’t the women just order pepperoni? Because they thought the weird ones were ‘healthier’?) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/54 "2018-07-14T16:15:57Z")
When we do the “pizza at work” thing, I always make sure we order a large with anchovies. That way I get a few slices and can take the rest home with me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/55 "2018-07-14T16:29:56Z")
Since I work in a store owned by Jewish people, they always order one plain cheese pizza, in additional to anything else. I love it because I’m a vegetarian. Lately they’ve been ordered one half ham and half pineapple. Those who like it can combine the two, and us kosher and veggie folks concentrate on the pineapple. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/56 "2018-07-14T17:02:25Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > I go back and forth. Sometimes I want a burger with just cheese and ketchup. Sometimes I want a bunch of stuff. > > I would never, however, eat a bagel like a doughnut. Bagels need something (not toasting, though). > > My favorite doughnuts are plain cake, but I also like the other kind. > > Vanilla ice cream might _look_ plain, but in my mind vanilla flavoring is fundamentally the opposite of plain. Having said that, I almost always go for chocolate ice cream. Plus: different types of vanilla, all equally good: French vanilla (extra eggs, right?), vanilla bean, and my fave–the kind you had to crank by hand for 3 hours every 4th of July in your backyard; billions of tiny ice crystals. Crunchy vanilla, mmmmmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/57 "2018-07-14T17:06:55Z")
Potatoes with salt and pepper. When I was younger, steak cooked with salt and nothing else. Dates out of the box, plain like candy. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/58 "2018-07-14T17:11:31Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > He didn’t want anyone to show his burger to a duck? Hehe, knew I was gonna get the business for misspelling that one when I noticed after the edit window. It’s a fair cop, but I was talking about the steak. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/59 "2018-07-14T18:10:42Z")
Speaking of ice cream, I like ice cream. I like cake. I don’t care for ice cream and cake stuck in a bowl together. The ice cream melts and gets the cake soggy, and cake bits get into the ice cream and make it grainy. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840/60 "2018-07-14T18:53:29Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Speaking of ice cream, I like ice cream. I like cake. I don’t care for ice cream and cake stuck in a bowl together. The ice cream melts and gets the cake soggy, and cake bits get into the ice cream and make it grainy. Cake+ice cream+Guinness = amazing beer float. Mmmmmmm! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-defense-of-plain-stuff/817840.md?page=4)