# In desperate need of a good flirt **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 13, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242 "2001-02-13T01:58:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/1 "2001-02-13T01:58:07Z")
_sigh_ I’m in the mood to flirt. A lot. Really. But, you see, there’s one little problem. I’m too shy to start flirting with anyone. (STOP laughing, **Scralden** , **lurker**. I’m being serious here!) As I was saying… I can flirt well if flirted with, or if I know the person well enough, but to start flirting, I freeze up. Feel stupid. Blush even though no one can see me. So, anyone want to flirt with a lonely girl on a Monday night? 😃 [sub]Ok, now I **REALLY** feel like a fool… but like I said, I’m desperate.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/2 "2001-02-13T02:03:57Z")
Hello **Pisces**. How _you_ doin. I was just about to email you a few minutes ago, but couldn’t think of what to say. Anyway, nothing brings me to a party like a woman speaking the words: “I’m desperate.” I’m all yours, **TruePisces** so with me what you will. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/3 "2001-02-13T02:22:46Z")
_ahem_ Hello there 🙂 Is this a “males only encouraged” thing or can I play too?? \ You say you sometimes feel stupid… Well slap my ass with pancake and call me stupid! \ ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/4 "2001-02-13T02:22:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > **Anyway, nothing brings me to a party like a woman speaking the words: "I’m desperate."** _sigh_ If only it were my sparkling personality… but I guess “I’m desperate” will do in a pinch! 😉 \*\* > [@](#): > > I’m all yours, **TruePisces** so with me what you will. > \*\* Hmm… where to start, where to start… Maybe it’s time to start working on fantasy number 4? Late night, long drive home, talk turns into something more, the need to pull off to the side of the road, into a thick clump of trees… How’s that for a start? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/5 "2001-02-13T02:26:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > \*\*_ahem_ > Hello there 🙂 > Is this a “males only encouraged” thing or can I play too?? \ You say you sometimes feel stupid… Well slap my ass with pancake and call me stupid! \ \*\* Honey, if we can be paired up by **Una** in the Lesbian Orgy thread, do you REALLY think I’d have a problem flirting with you here??? So where would you **like** me to feel you, **Tequila** , darling? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/6 "2001-02-13T02:30:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*Hmm… where to start, where to start… Maybe it’s time to start working on fantasy number 4? Late night, long drive home, talk turns into something more, the need to pull off to the side of the road, into a thick clump of trees… > > How’s that for a start? 😃 \*\* So from flirting straight to fantasy role-playing huh? That’s ok, I like fantasy role-playing. I like to pretend I’m not paying for it. 😃 So um, you and **Tequila** there, what say the three of us go somewhere a little more private and carry on this discussion? (insert wiggling eyebrow smiley here) ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/7 "2001-02-13T02:33:24Z")
(Walks in in his disco jumpers…) Hey ladies! (Slides up to [Insert your name here]) So, how YOU doin? You, uh, wanna go back to my truck? (This is where you say “Sure.” Please?) ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/8 "2001-02-13T02:34:24Z")
So, TruePisces, what’s your sign? _you idiot! It’s right there in her screen name. Stupid! Stupid! Think of something else_ um…so, cold enough for you? _The weather? Why don’t you just don a sweater and sing the Mr. Rogers song, you nerd._ So you like fish huh? I like fish too. \*Oh yeah. That’s muuuuuuch better. hey wait, that could be sexual. Look up and see if she notices. Damn, she’s staring at you funny. Tell a joke. \* So these three lesbians walk into a bar. No! Ma’am. Not you. I’m sorry, I was talking to this lovely lady over here. No, I don’t have anything against lesbians. I…oh, crap. If you need me, I’ll be over by the dart boards hoping for poor throwers. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/9 "2001-02-13T02:35:47Z")
TruePisces, Last year UncleBeer was voted biggest male flirt. Look him up. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/10 "2001-02-13T02:39:43Z")
**Pisces** you need not a man whose relatives are come in six-packs. All you need is a dose of Froggy to get feeling right again. Come with me, we’ll go somewhere alone. Maybe I could give you a back rub to relax you some. What do you say, **Pisces**? Leave these others and come away with me… Except **Tequila**. Bring her if you want. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/11 "2001-02-13T02:39:44Z")
Oh Gawd you two get a room… Wait, this one works fine and I’m kinda enjoying it… I love public displays of … whatever ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/12 "2001-02-13T02:44:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > **So from flirting straight to fantasy role-playing huh? That’s ok, I like fantasy role-playing. I like to pretend I’m not paying for it. 😃** Hey, just going with the flow a little here… Besides, didn’t some of this start in the fantasy thread, then on to the Phone Sex thread? I figured it would be best to go with one of those two, and my phone is in the other room… > [@](#): > > \*\*So um, you and **Tequila** there, what say the three of us go somewhere a little more private and carry on this discussion? (insert wiggling eyebrow smiley here) \*\* _looks at **Tequila** _ Your call, but I’m all for it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/13 "2001-02-13T02:45:41Z")
So, Pisces…\…um… how are you? \ What a lovely ensemble you are wearing…\… I…um… \… BWAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHHHHHAHAAHHAH!!! Ohh…oh… BWAHAHAHAAHAHHHAAH!!!.. Thank you!! That was too funny!!!..lol… Um…lets see… \… where to touch me? try the graveyard or sushi bar 🙂 HAHAHAHA… The visual of Enderw24’s whole thing is just slaying me here!.. I’ll be back in a bit when I can stop chuckling here 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/14 "2001-02-13T02:45:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Totoro \* > \*\*(Walks in in his disco jumpers…) > > Hey ladies! > > (Slides up to [Insert your name here]) > > So, how YOU doin? You, uh, wanna go back to my truck? > > (This is where you say “Sure.” Please?) \*\* What kind of truck? Is it nice and BIG??? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/15 "2001-02-13T02:52:44Z")
Wait a minute? So wearing disco jumpers is ok, as long as you have a big truck? DAMMIT! I knew I should have got a truck instead of that Focus! I knew it I knew it I knew it! ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/16 "2001-02-13T02:53:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > **um…so, cold enough for you?** It **has** been pretty cold for Florida. > [@](#): > > \*\*So you like fish huh? I like fish too. > > \*Oh yeah. That’s muuuuuuch better. hey wait, that could be sexual. Look up and see if she notices. Damn, she’s staring at you funny. Tell a joke. \* > > So these three lesbians walk into a bar. No! Ma’am. Not you. I’m sorry, I was talking to this lovely lady over here. No, I don’t have anything against lesbians. I…oh, crap. If you need me, I’ll be over by the dart boards hoping for poor throwers. > > \*\* Ah, a man who can make me laugh… and with good taste in books, too… So, what kind of fish **do** you like?? ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/17 "2001-02-13T02:57:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ayesha \* > \*\*TruePisces, > > Last year UncleBeer was voted biggest male flirt. Look him up. \*\* But I CAN’T flirt first… I’m just no good at it! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/18 "2001-02-13T03:02:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\ ***Pisces** you need not a man whose relatives are come in six-packs. All you need is a dose of Froggy to get feeling right again. Come with me, we’ll go somewhere alone. Maybe I could give you a back rub to relax you some. What do you say, **Pisces**? Leave these others and come away with me… > > Except **Tequila**. Bring her if you want. 😉 \*\* Mmmmm… back rub. Relaxation. That sounds like the best offer I’ve had all night… Are you as good at rubbing other parts of the body as you are backs? You see, I have a really sore [sub]whisper whisper whisper[/sub] Do you think you can take care of that? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/19 "2001-02-13T03:06:05Z")
Ok, **TP** and **Tequila** , I’m left no choice but to get dapper on your asses and put on my [tuxedo](http://home.att.net/~jskellogg/lynda/linda28.htm) just to show you ladies I’m being serious here. ::All dressed up, **CF** orders a martini and saunters over to the women:: ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242/20 "2001-02-13T03:07:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > \*\*So, Pisces…\…um… how are you? \ > What a lovely ensemble you are wearing…\… > I…um… \… > > BWAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHHHHHAHAAHHAH!!! > > Ohh…oh… BWAHAHAHAAHAHHHAAH!!!.. > > Thank you!! That was too funny!!!..lol… > > Um…lets see… \… where to touch me? try the graveyard or sushi bar 🙂 > > HAHAHAHA… The visual of Enderw24’s whole thing is just slaying me here!.. I’ll be back in a bit when I can stop chuckling here 🙂 > > \*\* Go take care of that, **Tequila** I’d hate to have you laugh out loud at the wrong time… my poor ego couldn’t take it! 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-desperate-need-of-a-good-flirt/54242.md?page=2)