# In exchange for perfect health & hotness, would you do porn for a year?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [May 30, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179 "2009-05-30T17:32:27Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/1 "2009-05-30T17:32:27Z")
Otherwise known as another silly Skald poll.
Here’s the sitch, as if it matters. While in the park one day, you see a precious little kitty-kat about to be mauled by a large and ravenous Alsatian. In a fit of idiocy you grab the feline and fend the canine off with your umbrella. Moments later, the cat’s hot blonde keeper arrives and reveals herself to be **Freyja** , Norse goddess of way too many things to get into.
Being grateful for your bravery in defending her cat, Freyja offers to repay you. Say the world, and she’ll make you into your own personal physical ideal–whatever you, in your wildest fantasies, would like to be, in the very prime of youth; in the process, you’ll be healed of any current medical problems you have, anything from myopia diabetes to metatsized cancer.
Unfortunately, though, Freyja, however grateful, is a god. As we all know, gods are assholes. So there’s a catch: accept the youth, health, & beauty, and you have to agree to do hardcore porn at least one year or sixty movies, whichever comes first. There’ll be no bestiality, group sex, or violence (unless that’s what you’re into), and no homosexuality unless you agree; but there will be explicit on-screen sex. If you’re married, your spouse can get in on the deal and perform with you if he or see wishes.
What do you say?
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/2 "2009-05-30T17:37:09Z")
I’d do it for meh health and hotness.
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/3 "2009-05-30T17:40:52Z")
Assuming no other catches (You gotta watch carefully with those Norse Gods) Hell yes I’d be in for that.
::: Hangs head in shame::: Yes, I’m a slut.
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### Author:  [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/4 "2009-05-30T17:43:53Z")
Sure. What’s the downside?
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/5 "2009-05-30T17:44:40Z")
> [@Musicat](#):
>
> Sure. What’s the downside?
People you know seeing your naked naughty bits on the 'Net, obviously.
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### Author:  [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/6 "2009-05-30T17:48:57Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> People you know seeing your naked naughty bits on the 'Net, obviously.
It helps to be an exhibitionist.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/7 "2009-05-30T17:50:34Z")
Cite? 😉
[Yeah, I know, I know…](http://xkcd.com/322/)
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### Author:  [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/8 "2009-05-30T17:50:55Z")
Absolutely. Could I get a porn name, for plausible deniability?
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### Author:  [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/9 "2009-05-30T17:55:35Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> People you know seeing your naked naughty bits on the 'Net, obviously.
Well whats the point of all that hotness if people don’t get to see it! of course i’d do it, i see no downside. I always wanted a porn name, ohhh if they let me pick the name of the movies i’d do it for free. I always wanted to be a porn director just so i could make porn related movie title puns. I’m very easily amused by stuff like “remember the tight ones”.
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### Author:  [@Poor\_College\_Student](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poor_College_Student)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/10 "2009-05-30T18:19:59Z")
> [@Musicat](#):
>
> Sure. What’s the downside?
Exactly my thoughts 😛
Though I’d be doing it just on the condition that I stay in the same shape I’m in and don’t contract anything. I like the way I am, and I wouldn’t mind getting to know Sasha Grey.
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### Author:  [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/11 "2009-05-30T18:21:29Z")
Heh, you talk about it as a cost. I see it more as a benefit. 😉
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### Author:  [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/12 "2009-05-30T18:37:29Z")
Can I wear a mask this time? Uhh, I mean…errr, I mean ‘wear a mask on this, my first ever, foray into porn’?
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### Author:  [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/13 "2009-05-30T18:43:39Z")
Do I get the hotness before I have to do the porn? It matters.
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### Author:  [@A\_Spoonful\_of\_Awesome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Spoonful_of_Awesome)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/14 "2009-05-30T19:12:04Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#):
>
> Do I get the hotness before I have to do the porn? It matters.
Good question. In addition, depending on how far off you currently are from your ideal appearance, it’s plausible you wouldn’t be recognized anyway as the person you are now. Instead, you’d just adopt an entirely new identity as an attractive porn star.
Also, along with the physical boost, does one get an increase in sexual prowess as well? Depending on the anxiety involved in shooting multiple takes in front of an entire movie crew, this could save some poor porn director loads of undue stress.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/15 "2009-05-30T19:14:55Z")
> [@A\_Spoonful\_of\_Awesome](#):
>
> Good question. In addition, depending on how far off you currently are from your ideal appearance, it’s plausible you wouldn’t be recognized anyway as the person you are now. Instead, you’d just adopt an entirely new identity as an attractive porn star.
>
> Also, along with the physical boost, does one get an increase in sexual prowess as well? Depending on the anxiety involved in shooting multiple takes in front of an entire movie crew, this could save some poor porn director loads of undue stress.
I’d assume that “perfect health” meant “all equipment works as well as persons in the 99th percentile.” Though one’s mental hangups would probably remain.
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### Author:  [@A\_Spoonful\_of\_Awesome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Spoonful_of_Awesome)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/16 "2009-05-30T19:47:07Z")
Personally I’d assume that ‘perfect health’ would also include liberation from mental ailments as well, yes? This would cover things like anxiety disorders and depression symptoms that might impair sexual performance in a public setting.
In any case, I don’t see a downside. Hotness, endless sex, decent money, fame. I’m not THAT far off of my physical ideal (though there is always room for improvement) and there’s a chance (not likely, but possible) that explicit pics of me in my bum-bum suit are already floating somewhere in the vast ocean of the interweb.
I’d do it, and do it, and do it well.
Something that just occurred to me though. Does this Superhealth include immunity to future ailments as well? If not, can I ask for the health benefit after the year is up? If I were to do porn for a year, I’d want some sort of protection against the bevy of sexual creepy-crawlies that could well cancel out any benefit I’d get from a lifetime of physical beauty.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/17 "2009-05-30T19:56:17Z")
> [@A\_Spoonful\_of\_Awesome](#):
>
> Personally I’d assume that ‘perfect health’ would also include liberation from mental ailments as well, yes? This would cover things like anxiety disorders and depression symptoms that might impair sexual performance in a public setting.
>
> In any case, I don’t see a downside. Hotness, endless sex, decent money, fame. I’m not THAT far off of my physical ideal (though there is always room for improvement) and there’s a chance (not likely, but possible) that explicit pics of me in my bum-bum suit are already floating somewhere in the vast ocean of the interweb.
>
> I’d do it, and do it, and do it well.
>
> Something that just occurred to me though. Does this Superhealth include immunity to future ailments as well? If not, can I ask for the health benefit after the year is up? If I were to do porn for a year, I’d want some sort of protection against the bevy of sexual creepy-crawlies that could well cancel out any benefit I’d get from a lifetime of physical beauty.
The hamsters ate an addendum I thought I added to the OP, so I have been operating under the incorrect assumption that y’all had read a certain qualification. Freyja makes you physically perfect, but does nothing to your psyche. Moreover, any physically perfection has to be maintained. Thus you won’t keep those rocking abs without pushups, and you’re as vulnerable as anybody else is to creepy crawlies.
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### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/18 "2009-05-30T20:03:15Z")
I won’t do it as long as my mother is alive. Bad enough the poor woman has to listen to the other women in her bridge club brag about grandkids when she has none. No way I want her having to explain her eldest son starring in porn.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/19 "2009-05-30T20:04:28Z")
> [@Oakminster](#):
>
> I won’t do it as long as my mother is alive. Bad enough the poor woman has to listen to the other women in her bridge club brag about grandkids when she has none. No way I want her having to explain her eldest son starring in porn.
You might not want to phrase your refusal that way to Freyja.
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### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [May 30, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-exchange-for-perfect-health-hotness-would-you-do-porn-for-a-year/498179/20 "2009-05-30T20:07:43Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> You might not want to phrase your refusal that way to Freyja.
Bitch even looks funny at my mother and I’ll go Ragnorak on her ass.
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