# In general, who ranks higher - Spouses or Offspring?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-general-who-ranks-higher-spouses-or-offspring/698618>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 16, 2014, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-general-who-ranks-higher-spouses-or-offspring/698618 "2014-09-16T01:35:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\
**Post date:** [September 18, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-general-who-ranks-higher-spouses-or-offspring/698618/41 "2014-09-18T16:08:13Z")

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My parents’ main priority was each other. That’s not to say we were unloved or neglected, but their marriage was the rock around which the family revolved. I think they would have been perfectly happy together even if they never had children. Probably happier, even. 🙂

I don’t know if we’ll have kids yet, but that’s an example I try to follow in my own marriage.

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**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\
**Post date:** [September 18, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-general-who-ranks-higher-spouses-or-offspring/698618/42 "2014-09-18T16:53:45Z")

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I’d die for my kids, but I live for my wife.

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**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\
**Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-general-who-ranks-higher-spouses-or-offspring/698618/43 "2014-09-19T15:48:18Z")

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> [@Rushgeekgirl](#):
>
> I am a mother and my children will always come first. Spouses come and go. Children are forever. It’s my job as a parent to make sure they always come first above spouse, above myself.

With all due respect, I don’t agree with this at all. I love my kids, but I don’t think it’s my job to put them above my spouse or me. My husband and I will always sit at the head of the table. We will sit in the front seat of the car and the children will sit in the back. We will save up for our retirement, and if we have enough left over, we will help them pay for their college.

My husband was not demoted when we had children. He was promoted from "husband’ to “husband and father.”

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