# In memoriam: Michael Jackson joke roundup **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027 "2009-06-26T02:07:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/1 "2009-06-26T02:07:59Z")
Insert your Michael Jackson jokes here. I don’t think there could be a more appropriate time, and let’s be homest, we’re all dying to tell them anyway. Here are as couple of classics to get started: Why did Michael Jackson rush off to Wal-Mart? he heard they had boys’ clothes half off. What’s the difference between Neil armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Michael Jackson was a pedophile. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/2 "2009-06-26T02:11:24Z")
Heard the first one. Still makes me giggle. Never heard the second one. It _cracks me up._ ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/3 "2009-06-26T02:12:25Z")
What do caviar and Michael Jackson have in common? They both come on little crackers. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/4 "2009-06-26T02:12:44Z")
How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date? There’s a big wheel parked outside his house. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/5 "2009-06-26T02:16:22Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > What do caviar and Michael Jackson have in common? > They both come on little crackers. Holy shit, I’m gonna love this thread. I’m glad I came in here. (that’s what Michael Jackson said to the little boy’s mouth?) ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/6 "2009-06-26T02:30:58Z")
How does MJ pick his nose? From a catalogue. A boy is out walking with his dad, and he asks, “Daddy, is God a girl or a boy?” Dad shrugs and says, “I guess he’s both, son.” “Is God black or white?” “I guess he’s both, son.” “Is God straight or gay?” “I guess he’s both of them, too.” “Daddy”, says the kidlet, “Is God Michael Jackson?” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/7 "2009-06-26T03:00:30Z")
He’ll be back to do Thriller on Halloween you smug asses. You’ll get what you have coming kids. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/8 "2009-06-26T03:02:02Z")
Why does Micheal Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Cause there’s 20 of them! ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/9 "2009-06-26T03:10:42Z")
What do MJ and McDonald’s have in common? 40-year-old meat between 8-year-old buns. When is it bedtime at Neverland? When the big hand is on the little hand. What’s the difference between MJ and acne? Acne comes on your face after you’re 12. What do MJ and tuna have in common? Both come in little cans. MJ’s actual cause of death: food poisoning. He ate 12-year-old nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/10 "2009-06-26T03:11:21Z")
Shortly after Pee Wee Herman’s trouble in the book store, he and Michael Jackson were talking on the phone. Came time for them to end their conversation, whereat MJ said “See you later, masturbator”, followed by Pee Wee saying “After while, pedophile”. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/11 "2009-06-26T03:19:40Z")
How many Micheal Jackson threads does it take to bring down the board. I don’t know, but I bet we find out. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/12 "2009-06-26T03:27:05Z")
Q: What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite nursery rhyme? A: Little Boy Blew. I just bought a new car stereo… When you shout out “Soul”, it plays soul music. When you shout out “Rock”, it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted “fucking kids!”, and it played Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/13 "2009-06-26T03:42:04Z")
So Jimmy, how was your night at Michael Jackson’s house? “It sucked” ---
**Author:** ![wunderkammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@wunderkammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wunderkammer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/14 "2009-06-26T03:44:23Z")
Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A: One is white, plastic, and dangerous to small children. The other is a plastic bag. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/15 "2009-06-26T03:51:45Z")
“Michael was colorless.” Larry King on _Larry King Live_, 25 June 2009. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/16 "2009-06-26T03:56:46Z")
What’s soft and brown and found in a baby’s diaper? Michael Jackson’s hand. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/17 "2009-06-26T04:48:02Z")
Rumor has it that Michael Jackson died of food posioning after eating a 10 year old wiener. Too soon? ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/18 "2009-06-26T04:53:29Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > MJ’s actual cause of death: food poisoning. He ate 12-year-old nuts. > [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > Rumor has it that Michael Jackson died of food posioning after eating a 10 year old wiener. > > Too soon? Too late ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/19 "2009-06-26T05:04:13Z")
Said to Michael Jackson by a child’s mom while at the beach: “Excuse me, I think you’re in my son.” ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/20 "2009-06-26T05:34:07Z")
Yet, on my post you call me horrible. Here’s one… Why did Michael Jackson have a heart attack? Because of your jokes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027.md?page=2)