# In memoriam: Michael Jackson joke roundup **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027 "2009-06-26T02:07:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/21 "2009-06-26T05:51:15Z")
When Farrah Fawcett arrived in heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children to be safe. So God killed Micheal Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/22 "2009-06-26T05:56:09Z")
What’s the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson has had more noses. How does MJ pick his nose? Out of a catalog. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about? Blowing his first nose. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/23 "2009-06-26T06:08:02Z")
Michael Jackson is doing a cover of that Elton John Classic: _Don’t Let your son go down on me._ ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/24 "2009-06-26T06:57:04Z")
Why was Diana Ross arrested for D.U.I.? You’d drink, too, if you looked like Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/25 "2009-06-26T08:53:43Z")
Oops… already posted mine in the Pit thread. Anyhoo… > [@](#): > > Doesn’t sound much like a cardiac arrest to me. I heard when the paramedics found him he was with a bunch of kids having a stroke. > > No doubt his ghost will end up haunting someplace where he can put the willies up small children. > > Still, tricky one for the coroner… do they blame it on sunshine, moonlight, good times or the boogie? ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/26 "2009-06-26T10:17:54Z")
Great thread, here, **Dio!** He died from years of agonizing over never getting into his dream college: Brigham Young! ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/27 "2009-06-26T10:19:48Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > When Farrah Fawcett arrived in heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children to be safe. So God killed Micheal Jackson. Ooof! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/28 "2009-06-26T11:45:14Z")
God bless America! It is the only place where a young black kid can grow up to be an old white woman. ---
**Author:** ![bathsheba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@bathsheba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathsheba)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/29 "2009-06-26T11:59:41Z")
I hear the hospital doesn’t know what to do with him. It’s not recycling day until next week. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/30 "2009-06-26T13:51:48Z")
What did MJ say after his pedo case was resolved? I feel like a kid again! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/31 "2009-06-26T14:02:41Z")
It seems that MJ was about 80% plastic at the time of his death. The plan is to recycle him in to Legos[SUP]TM[/SUP] so that little kids can play with him for a change. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/32 "2009-06-26T14:03:20Z")
When the police were called to MJ’s house last night, they found Class A drugs in the living room, Class B drugs in the kitchen and Class 3C in the bedroom… All Jacko’s dates have been cancelled…William aged 5, Simon aged 7… Michael Jackson is not going to be buried or creamated but recycled into shopping bags so he can remain white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with. Michael Jackson has requested his ashes are to be put in a ‘etch a sketch’ so the kids can still play with his knob. ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/33 "2009-06-26T14:35:32Z")
Jacko hasn’t been this stiff since Macaulay Culkin stayed over for the weekend ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/34 "2009-06-26T14:36:01Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > God bless America! It is the only place where a young black kid can grow up to be an old white woman. I heard it as, “Only in America can a poor black boy grow up to to a rich white woman.” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/35 "2009-06-26T15:09:49Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > What do MJ and tuna have in common? > Both come in little cans. Different version: What do Michael Jackson and shoe polish have in common? They’re both black and white and come in little cans. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/36 "2009-06-26T15:24:09Z")
An oldie: Back in the early Eighties, following his mishaps while shooting a soda commecial, my 8 year old brother came home with his friends reciting this classic: “I pledge allegiance to the flag. Michael Jackson is a fag. Pepsi Cola burned him up, So now he’s drinking 7-up.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/37 "2009-06-26T15:28:27Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > What’s the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson? > Michael Jackson has had more noses. The best thing about the MJ version of Mr. Potato Head is that you can use a real potato. Pealed or unpealed. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/38 "2009-06-26T15:52:28Z")
And of course, for a decade or so, any time a baseball player made an error, you could be sure of seeing the following joke in the newspapers the next day: "Q: Why is Bill Buckner (or some other inept fielder) like Michael Jackson? A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason." ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/39 "2009-06-26T16:27:15Z")
Farrah Fawcett played with Majors Jacko played with Minors ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/40 "2009-06-26T16:58:51Z")
Why did Michael Jackson hold his baby out the window? To taunt Eric Clapton. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027.md?page=3)