# In memoriam: Michael Jackson joke roundup **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027 "2009-06-26T02:07:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/81 "2009-06-29T06:01:33Z")
Let’s not forget the other injury he suffered on a video set back in the 80s, when an unfortunate script mixup caused him to grab a car window and smash his crotch with a crowbar. ---
**Author:** ![Future\_Londonite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9dc877/32.png) [@Future\_Londonite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Future_Londonite)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/82 "2009-06-29T09:10:21Z")
combining/expanding some jokes already mentioned… Ed dies and st peter give’s him a wish for all that he did for people and animals. Ed wished to spend eternity with a bueatiful woman of his era. St peter grants Ed’s wish and Farrah dies too. For being a good person, St Peter then grants Farrah a wish and whe wants to save all the children. So MJ dies. Because MJ died before he could make amends to his soul, and before he can get into heaven he must right his wrongs. MJ is about to ask St Peter What he can do to get the stains out of his soul. Then he gets an idea… If oxy-clean can’t get the stains out nothing will… ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/83 "2009-06-29T12:50:11Z")
Bravo! ::bowing:: ---
**Author:** ![JerseyFrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@JerseyFrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyFrank)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/84 "2009-06-29T13:54:31Z")
I went to the racetrack on Sunday. The Professional Jockey Association held a Michael Jackson tribute concert in memory of the one who rode the most three-year-olds. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/85 "2009-06-29T14:34:27Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > What’s the difference between Neil armstrong and Michael Jackson? > Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Michael Jackson was a pedophile. > [@wunderkammer](#): > > Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? > A: One is white, plastic, and dangerous to small children. The other is a plastic bag. The one I floated in the Michael Jackson is Dead MPSIMs thread is a mish-mash of these: > [@Michael Jackson Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-dead/500988/210): > > My favorite Jacko joke, courtesy, I believe, of Norm Macdonald: > > What’s the difference between a supermarket shopping bag and Michael Jackson? > > One’s white and made of plastic and the other one is a child molester. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/86 "2009-06-29T15:50:53Z")
What’s worse than Michael Jackson beating it? Michael Jackson and Boy George getting together and beating it until they come-a come-a come-a chameleon. [For the youngsters in the audience, back in the 80s, Michael Jackson had a big hit with the song “Beat It”, and Culture Club (lead singer Boy George) had a big hit with the song “Karma Chameleon”. The joke is funnier if you speak it aloud, and sing the last few words.] ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/87 "2009-06-29T17:22:41Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Story? Are you implying it wasn’t true? No. Just pointing out that many people were well-aware of the story behind the song…except for **Mr. Duality** , I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/88 "2009-06-29T17:26:32Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > No. Just pointing out that many people were well-aware of the story behind the song…except for **Mr. Duality** , I guess. Ah, okay. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/89 "2009-06-29T19:03:24Z")
> [@future londonite](#): > > combining/expanding some jokes already mentioned… > > Ed dies and st peter give’s him a wish for all that he did for people and animals. > Ed wished to spend eternity with a bueatiful woman of his era. > St peter grants ed’s wish and farrah dies too. > For being a good person, st peter then grants farrah a wish and whe wants to save all the children. So mj dies. > Because mj died before he could make amends to his soul, and before he can get into heaven he must right his wrongs. Mj is about to ask st peter what he can do to get the stains out of his soul. Then he gets an idea… > > If oxy-clean can’t get the stains out nothing will… _clap_ _clap_ _clap_ ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/90 "2009-06-29T21:27:57Z")
That loud noise you just heard was not thunder. There is no storm approaching. It was Elvis pounding the Hell out of MJ for having married Lisa Marie. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/91 "2009-06-30T00:18:56Z")
Q) What were Michael Jackson’s last words A) Take me to the Children’s Hospital ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/92 "2009-06-30T00:23:22Z")
They usually say that celebrities die in threes, but this time Billy Mays threw in a fourth death for free. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/93 "2009-06-30T02:30:35Z")
Seeing that Michael Jackson was 90% plastic he will be melted down and turned into lego blocks so that little kids can play with him for once. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/94 "2009-06-30T03:09:53Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > What do caviar and Michael Jackson have in common? > They both come on little crackers. This is possibly the funniest joke I’ve heard in a long time. Well done (or well-repeated). ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/95 "2009-06-30T04:48:18Z")
\ I love you guys. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/96 "2009-06-30T05:13:41Z")
> [@Future\_Londonite](#): > > combining/expanding some jokes already mentioned… > > Ed dies and st peter give’s him a wish for all that he did for people and animals. > Ed wished to spend eternity with a bueatiful woman of his era. > St peter grants Ed’s wish and Farrah dies too. > For being a good person, St Peter then grants Farrah a wish and whe wants to save all the children. So MJ dies. > Because MJ died before he could make amends to his soul, and before he can get into heaven he must right his wrongs. MJ is about to ask St Peter What he can do to get the stains out of his soul. Then he gets an idea… > > If oxy-clean can’t get the stains out nothing will… Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/97 "2009-06-30T15:11:42Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > This is possibly the funniest joke I’ve heard in a long time. Well done (or well-repeated). Repeated, though I can’t remember where I first heard it. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/98 "2009-06-30T15:19:56Z")
Billy Mays heard about Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson, and said, “But wait, there’s MORE!” ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/99 "2009-06-30T17:59:28Z")
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney films? Disney films can still touch kids. Knock knock! Who’s there? Not Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027/100 "2009-07-02T14:12:39Z")
I just made my own last night! Q: Who is Michael Jackson’s favorite poet? A: Dickinson. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memoriam-michael-jackson-joke-roundup/501027.md?page=6)