# In Memory of Daryl **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 22, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846 "2003-02-22T22:49:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![3waygeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/e95f7d/32.png) [@3waygeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3waygeek)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/21 "2003-02-23T15:26:12Z")
**matt\_mcl** , that was the most eloquent statement I’ve read on these boards. I hope that you stay involved in politics; the world needs leaders like you. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/22 "2003-02-23T18:24:51Z")
Bloody hell. How many people have to die, before these fundies realize how NOT like Christ they are? I swear, if they were alive in the day of Christ-they WOULD have denied him, along with the Pharisees. Because Christ was every bit as controversial to the Pharisees as the gay rights movement is to the modern day fundies. It’s disgusting, it’s vile, and it’s so UnChristian. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/23 "2003-02-23T18:25:29Z")
My condolences, **andygirl**. I wish I could say more, but my limited eloquence has failed me. All I can tell you is that I am very, very sorry. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/24 "2003-02-23T18:38:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > **They probably equate homosexuality with murder, adultery, etc. So their son telling them that he is gay and not (this is my guess) about to let them subject him to conversion therapy is probably like him telling them he’s a murderer and they just have to live with it. They can’t (or so they think) and they won’t (because they don’t want to … think pride here).** **iampunha** , I see what you’re saying. I spit on people whose pride is more important to them than their own child. They disgust me. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/25 "2003-02-23T18:39:51Z")
☹[**John 11:35**](http://bible.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bible?passage=JOHN+11:35&language=english&version=NIV&showfn=off&showxref=off)☹ ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/26 "2003-02-23T18:46:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > **I do not respect beliefs that are incompatible with life. I do not respect beliefs that are incompatible with love romantic or filial. A mother who so believes is not a mother, a father who so believes is not a father, and their beliefs of no value. I will supersede those beliefs. I will overcome them. I will save people from them. I will stand in their way, I will pull them from the edge. I would rather young men and women abandoned their parents to life rather than to death. Get thee behind me.** Your eloquence and determination are truly humbling. Your parents are supposed to be the people who will love you no matter what. **NO MATTER WHAT.** Isn’t Christianity’s greatest Commandment to love? Why does that get shoved aside so easily? What a tiny, miserable world it inside the heads of those parents. How dark it must be. Goddess grant me the compassion to pray for them soon. I cannot yet. LOVE, people! Love, love, love! _Nothing_ else matters! ☹ Rest in Peace, Daryl.☹ ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/27 "2003-02-23T21:35:18Z")
To all you people who are so accusatory and judgmental towards this kid’s parents, I have a question: Aren’t you being a little hasty in the attack? I mean, I know it’s the fault of all those asshole christians every time a homosexual is unhappy, and it’s the in-thing to hate the parents of any kid who commits suicide, but… How much do you know about what actually happened? Did any of you interview the parents? Live with him? Spend a significant amount of time in his household? Anything? How much weight can you put in the 3rd hand account of a horrible life from counselling sessions with somebody who is obviously suffering from some sort of mental disorder, and is so unable to cope with the real world that he killed himself? Sorry, but suicide doesn’t bring out the weepy, huggy side of my personality. It doesn’t induce a surge of sympathy and tears. It makes me angry that somebody can be so self-absorbed and unable to deal with reality that they can hurt everybody around them like that. ::bracing for the inevitable pile-on:: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/28 "2003-02-23T21:39:12Z")
THIRD HAND??? **andygirl** is not a “thirdhand” source. Another asshole asking for a “cite” to verify this. And look who it is. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/29 "2003-02-23T21:42:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* > \*\*::bracing for the inevitable pile-on:: \*\* Please, guys, don’t let’s give it to him. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/30 "2003-02-23T21:44:39Z")
**Joe** weren’t you and **Jersey** suggesting in another thread that folks demanding that you prove what you claimed was true about your personal life was, well, inappropriate??? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/31 "2003-02-23T21:44:56Z")
**Joe** , you truly are a shining example of Christian love and compassion. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/32 "2003-02-23T21:51:08Z")
So, according to **Joe\_Angry** , not only is he a sinner for being gay, but we should all blast him for killing himself and feel sorry for the parents whom he hurt so badly?? **Joe** – you are one of the worst Christians I have ever had the bad fortune of meeting. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/33 "2003-02-23T21:52:10Z")
Oh My Fucking Hell Nice compassion there, “Christian”. ---
**Author:** ![Lilairen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lilairen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lilairen)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/34 "2003-02-23T21:55:35Z")
Y’know, I pointed a lurker at this thread from my livejournal, who was feeling uncertain about possibly converting to Christianity after reading the ‘Gay Teens’ thread, and citing **Polycarp** as a good example of a worthwhile person with ‘Christian’ as a much-loved adjective, an exemplar of the faith. I’m kinda sorry I did that. And if that lurker reads this, I’d like to apologise for subjecting you to the above. It wasn’t here when I said it. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/35 "2003-02-23T22:06:20Z")
I’m not asking for anything except a little consideration before you attack somebody who just lost their child. Believe it or not, I think they’re a little more deeply affected by this than you are, and even more than andygirl is. Somehow, I think “parent” is more closely tied to somebody than “fellow homosexual”. (talk about a [granfalloon](http://www.kcoyle.net/granfalloons.html). :rolleyes: ) **wring** : I didn’t ask for a cite. I don’t want a cite. I’m really not interested in whether it’s true or not. It’s not my business, any more than My personal life is any of your business. BUT, if it is true, then it’s incredibly insensitive for you assholes to spew hate at the parents without knowing what you’re talking about. The parents’ own statement regarding what they said would be a firsthand account. The son’s account to andygirl is secondhand. And andygirl telling us the story makes it thirdhand information. What I’ve read about it is actually fourthhand, and I generally add an extra couple of hands for anything I read on the internet, but who wants to split hairs? You can count, can’t you, Guinastasia? If you want to argue, at least address what I actually said, not some strawman you WISH I had said. **iampunha** : If you’re talking to somebody else, then I apologize. But if your post addressed me, HUH? What comparison did I supposedly make? And you’re all correct. It’s terribly unchristian of me to say it’s unfair of to attack two people you’ve never met and know nothing about, and to blame them for THE DEATH OF THEIR CHILD!!! If my eyes rolled any farther, they’d fall out of my head. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/36 "2003-02-23T22:16:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* > \*\ ***wring** : > I didn’t ask for a cite. I don’t want a cite. I’m really not interested in whether it’s true or not. It’s not my business, any more than My personal life is any of your business. \*\* however, the person who was being pitted (in the other thread) asked for a cite. **Jersey** wondered (in the GD thread) why that was a problem. and, I suggest that you posting here “How much do you **really know** (emphasis added)” is, in practical matters, asking for proof. So, since you objected in the other thread to needing to substantiate things you knew personally first hand, I wondered why you thought it was different here. and re: #hands, you are correct that the parents (apparently) haven’t posted, but they wouldn’t be first hand (except to say what they’d said). First hand is the person who killed themselves, they and they alone (unless they left a note) know why they did it. however, if they’d divulged their suicidal thoughts and reasons to another person ( **andygirl** ), we could have some clue. So, she’d be posting as to what she personally knew (about the suicide’s **stated** motives) = first hand.(re: suicides **stated** motives, I’ll cede that once dead, one cannot have a first hand account from the suicide themself. so we’d rely on messages they’d left either in writting or verbally to a trusted party)\> ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/37 "2003-02-23T22:18:21Z")
I am pretty sure that **impunha** said COMPASSION. You can read, can’t you, **Joe**? ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/38 "2003-02-23T22:19:00Z")
Wrong. “I said” is first hand. “They said” is second hand (in court it’s called hearsay, and is inadmissible as evidence). “He said that they said” is third hand. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/39 "2003-02-23T22:25:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Somehow, I think “parent” is more closely tied to somebody than “fellow homosexual”. And you would be wrong. **Hamish** was tormented by his parents until he fled; then he spent a number of years living off of the kindness of other Queer people until he could stabilize himself, essentially. Now, he would sooner trust a Queer person he doesn’t know than his parents. Don’t speak to things you have no clue about. > [@](#): > > It’s terribly unchristian of me to say it’s unfair of to attack two people you’ve never met and know nothing about, and to blame them for THE DEATH OF THEIR CHILD!!! Child comes out. Parents attack child with homophobia. Child kills self over homophobia. Yea, lashing out about the eight millionth such wasted life I’ve heard of in my life is really unwarranted. I should take the deaths of my brothers and sisters with calm and analytical sang-froid. If only I were more like you, so that gay people dying would be of little importance to me. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846/40 "2003-02-23T22:26:25Z")
Oops. It was compassion, not comparison. Hasty reading. Apologies. And Yes, I do have compassion. For the parents who you all feel justified in condemning, on no more evidence than andygirl’s third hand account. I’m sorry that the guy killed himself, but like I said before, suicide doesn’t strike my sympathy bone for the person who did it. Only for the people around them that were hurt by the selfish actions of the person who committed suicide. Congratulations are in order for andygirl, I guess, on attaining such status that her words are now sufficient to try and convict somebody, sight unseen, and with no further evidence. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-memory-of-daryl/156846.md?page=3)