# In need of artistic feedback! opinions please!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-need-of-artistic-feedback-opinions-please/718198>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [April 21, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-need-of-artistic-feedback-opinions-please/718198 "2015-04-21T16:00:27Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![2spun4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/dfb087/32.png) [@2spun4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2spun4)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-need-of-artistic-feedback-opinions-please/718198/1 "2015-04-21T16:00:27Z")

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## I wrote this poem/song about my crystal meth addiction using a remixed beat of hotel california. Please leave feedback and please be honest! I want to hear everything!

In the hotel California  
a couple spots are open  
They got a room just for ya  
Its time you started dosin’

Now closin’ all the curtains  
You go and lock the door  
exploring every demon  
Like you signed up for the tour

It turned into much more  
Then a ride at the carnival  
Riding deeper tangled up  
In every single yarn I pull

Unraveling each article  
Of clothing off my body  
Till I’m naked awaken  
The people waitin’ in the lobby

Screamin loud voice is wobbly  
My only choice is probably  
Get swallowed or grow hollowed  
And let the darkness gobble me

Just a couple nights here  
might feel like a light year  
A passenger through life  
but I cant quite steer

So hello there my dear  
I know its been awhile  
I tend to only write you  
when I’m feeling suicidal

So it’s safe to say  
my life is deep and vile  
Tried my best but the stress  
eventually compiled

Of course I’d love to leave  
Its just so hard to go  
Though they are invisible  
My shackles sometimes show

While still above the ground  
feels like part of me’s below  
The doors unlocked I cant walk  
Until my mind agrees to go

If I could only cease the flow  
Of the way I need to go  
For even just a week  
It would help to free my soul

But It always pulls you back  
And it seems to lead ya slow  
unaware your even slippin  
Till the day your feet wont go

And then it all will hit you  
While laying in the bed  
No lights just the dark  
Thinking might as well be dead

But Instead of really trying  
To make it off this island  
You give up cuz it seems  
even dreams feel like dying

So if someone’s callin’  
Please know that I listen  
Its just hard to hear over  
free flowin’ addiction

It feels life’s twistin  
Like the poles of a barbershop  
Since i lost my mind  
I use soul my to harbor thoughts

with ideas like Grenades  
That the martyr drops  
Every time im sober  
I always end up sparking rocks

now I’m stuck in the muck  
And it ain’t picking up  
With my luck I’ll be fucked  
And my life will just suck

As if that’s not enough  
Lady crystal calls my name  
With a promise it gets better  
when I fall its all the same

And I know it sounds insane  
To believe what she is saying  
it’s like she owns a spot  
Putting thoughts up in my brain

still I hope she might change  
Give the good not the misery  
But that’s not how it works  
with a heavy price that isnt free

Now here we go again  
I sadly hope that this is it  
Cuz if I never leave her  
might take death for me to quit

---

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**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-need-of-artistic-feedback-opinions-please/718198/2 "2015-04-21T16:06:42Z")

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How does it sound under Desperado?