# In olden days, how common was it for people to enter marriage with literally no clue what sex was? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 26, 2023, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395 "2023-02-26T13:22:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Moonrise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonrise/32/14764_2.png) [@Moonrise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonrise)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2023, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/262 "2023-03-16T09:05:41Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > … there were a lot of girls (and undoubtedly a lot of people of any gender) who hadn’t done all sorts of other things, either; some for lack of opportunity, some for lack of knowledge that some of those things existed, … You know, this whole discussion, and this quote in particular, reminds me of a [thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-time-traveler-question-sex-with-the-locals/970441/52) I posted a few months ago. Some of the answers I got then read as implict criticism of my “smug” premise. What I read here suggest that I may not have been completely off the mark. ---
**Author:** ![md-2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@md-2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md-2000)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2023, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/263 "2023-03-16T11:20:52Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Yeah, withdrawal (i.e. pulling out) is not a birth control method, either. Sex is like Russian Roulette. It only takes one time, but which time? You could spin the chamber then pull the trigger over and over, but the odds will catch up to you. (And I reiterate my earlier comment about “teenagers think it happens to others but it won’t happen to them.”) > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > – but there were a lot of girls (and undoubtedly a lot of people of any gender) who hadn’t done all sorts of other things, either; some for lack of opportunity, some for lack of knowledge that some of those things existed, and some because they either drew stricter lines or just thought “ewww, gross!” So while some “good girls” drew the line only at P in V, there were a lot who drew it further out than that. Another co-worker once related a conversation she had with her parents, when she was 40 and married, with 2 children. “I was always afraid that if I got pregnant as a teenager, you would have thrown me out of the house.” “Oh no, we would never have done that!” " _Now_ you tell me." This was in the context of her asking whether we agreed with her that she told her daughter she was not allowed to go to a baby shower for one of he classmates… in seventh grade. Not something to celebrate. Times change. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2023, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/264 "2023-03-16T11:24:03Z")
A seventh grader needs stuff to care for a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2023, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/265 "2023-03-16T14:21:06Z")
A seventh-grader is also, by any modern understanding of consent, a victim here. Celebrate, maybe not, but festively support. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2023, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/266 "2023-03-16T14:35:40Z")
As I’ve heard it put , we don’t celebrate a 12 year old ( or often an 18 year old) getting pregnant - but every _baby_ deserves to be celebrated. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2023, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/267 "2023-03-17T13:28:53Z")
> [@md-2000](#): > > This was in the context of her asking whether we agreed with her that she told her daughter she was not allowed to go to a baby shower for one of he classmates… in seventh grade. Not something to celebrate. > > Times change. One of my Aunts got pregnant at sixteen. I would have been about twelve at the time. My Mom did not let me go to my Aunt’s baby shower because she said having children out of wedlock is immoral. My Mom had me at age 19, after getting pregnant out of wedlock, and complains constantly that she didn’t get enough support from family. The hypocrisy of some people is astounding. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2023, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/268 "2023-03-17T21:36:48Z")
Most “real boys” spank the monkey any chance they get. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/269 "2023-03-18T01:24:39Z")
But after awhile you just end up with an unhappy monkey. ---
**Author:** ![md-2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@md-2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md-2000)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/270 "2023-03-18T03:28:36Z")
> [@P-man](#): > > Most “real boys” spank the monkey any chance they get. > [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > But after awhile you just end up with an unhappy monkey. But a good spanking is what sets the monkey straight. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/271 "2023-03-18T05:44:20Z")
> [@md-2000](#): > > But a good spanking is what sets the monkey straight. 😃 hmm, seems to me it has the opposite result, when all is said and done [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395.md?page=13)