# In olden days, how common was it for people to enter marriage with literally no clue what sex was? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 26, 2023, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395 "2023-02-26T13:22:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/101 "2023-03-01T17:46:31Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > My father grew corn for many years, until his local squirrels learned that it was tasty, and then he couldn’t after that. I wonder how many squirrel-generations of no corn need to pass before it falls out of their knowledge base. ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/102 "2023-03-01T18:13:32Z")
This is a related question, but might deserve a separate topic. How many men grew up with no knowledge of female sexual physiology, and had no idea what women enjoy sexually? I will admit that I was one. I knew the biological details of reproduction, of course, but it wasn’t until I was in my late twenties that I learned about women having a clitorus etc. Led to some embarrassing, awkward and depressing sexual fiascos when I was a young man. If I’d known then what I know now, etc… ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/103 "2023-03-01T19:29:40Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > Not directed to you, but generally, would a man know what to expect on his wedding night? More than a woman? Here’s Richard Thompson’s take: > **[Richard Thompson – Read About Love](https://genius.com/Richard-thompson-read-about-love-lyrics)** > > Asked my daddy when I was thirteen / "Daddy, can you tell me what a lover really means?" / His eyes went glassy, not a word was said / He poured another beer and his face turned Not what to do, particularly, but how to do it competently. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.E](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.e/32/8932_2.png) [@Mr.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.E)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2023, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/104 "2023-03-01T19:40:47Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Rose Wilder lived on a working farm, right? It’d be a simple child indeed who didn’t notice what the dogs and the cows did, and how puppies and calves resulted, or who couldn’t extrapolate. Rose Wilder Lane went on to be an important early influence in the Libertarian movement, so failing to notice glaringly obvious things about the world would be well in her wheelhouse. ---
**Author:** ![md-2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@md-2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md-2000)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/105 "2023-03-02T02:27:59Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Here’s Richard Thompson’s take: It makes me think of the comedian discussing reporta about Clinton and Lewinsky in the news at the time: “My kid asks me - ‘Dad, what’s oral sex?’. I told him, ‘Go ask your mother, she’ll tell you - it’s a myth, there’s no such thing’”. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2023, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/106 "2023-03-02T22:38:56Z")
[Moderating] > [@Mr.E](#): > > Rose Wilder Lane went on to be an important early influence in the Libertarian movement, so failing to notice glaringly obvious things about the world would be well in her wheelhouse. Factual Questions is not the place for politics. This is a Warning for politicking in FQ. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2023, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/107 "2023-03-03T19:32:35Z")
Never mind, Discourse. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2023, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/108 "2023-03-06T23:43:09Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > HSV-1 is happy to live not just in the mouth, but also on the genitals. So couples who’ve never had sex with ANYONE except each other can still give each other genital herpes via oral sex. And how do you catch oral herpes? For the record, my wife and I have never had sex with anyone but each other (and have never tried oral sex). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2023, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/109 "2023-03-06T23:49:57Z")
Kissing would probably do it. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/110 "2023-03-07T00:00:30Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > (and have never tried oral sex). Okay, I’m not judging. But woah. That surprises me. I understand that some people don’t find it their thing, but for a married couple to never have tried it? Again, I don’t care. What you guys do or don’t do is completely fine with me. For the contrary view, I have never been in a relationship with _some_ oral sex aspect to it. (even one night stands, and even with people I never had PIV sex with) ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/111 "2023-03-07T00:01:17Z")
Oral herpes (HSV-1 ) is what causes cold sores/fever blisters. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/112 "2023-03-07T00:06:24Z")
Yes but can you catch without sex? ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/113 "2023-03-07T00:11:13Z")
Depends - do you consider kissing sex? Oral herpes can spread ( and probably is usually spread) through kissing , including a peck on the lips. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/114 "2023-03-07T00:38:32Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > and have never tried oral sex This is sad to me. You should really give it a whirl! Meanwhile, googling tells me that, although quite rare, it is nevertheless possible to transmit herpes through the sharing of drinks, straws or utensils. ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/115 "2023-03-07T00:45:37Z")
Herpes Gladiatorum: > **[Herpes Gladiatorum](https://dhs.wisconsin.gov/disease/herpes-gladiatorum.htm)** > > Herpes gladiatorum, is a skin infection caused by the herpes simplex virus type 1. Herpes gladiatorum is also known as mat herpes because it is most often found in wrestlers. This virus also causes cold sores, or fever blisters, on the lips. Herpes... Herpetic Whitlow: > **[Herpetic whitlow](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpetic_whitlow)** > > A herpetic whitlow is a lesion (whitlow), typically on a finger or thumb, caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV). Occasionally infection occurs on the toes or on the nail cuticle. Herpes whitlow can be caused by infection by HSV-1 or HSV-2. HSV-1 whitlow is often contracted by health care workers that come in contact with the virus; it is most commonly contracted by dental workers and medical workers exposed to oral secretions. It is also often observed in thumb-sucking children with Symptoms... ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/116 "2023-03-07T01:14:46Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > And how do you catch oral herpes? Transmission of HSV-1 occurs when someone with no prior infection with HSV-1 comes in contact with herpetic lesions, mucosal secretions, or skin that contain HSV-1.The transmission typically occurs via oral-oral or oral-genital contact, as well as contamination of skin abrasions with infected oral secretions. So it need not be sexual contact. Frankly getting a sneeze in the face can transmit the virus. So can getting sloppy kisses from a doting aunt during infancy/childhood. More than half of the US population has had HSV-1 infections. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/117 "2023-03-07T02:09:20Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > (and have never tried oral sex). I’m sure you have your reasons and I wouldn’t dream of debating them with you. I just want to chime in with the general amazement. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/118 "2023-03-07T03:15:27Z")
I’m amazed at the amazement. It’s like people don’t have different backgrounds/cultures. I might be surprised if someone of my age and with my background had never engaged in oral sex - but I wouldn’t be amazed if it was someone of my mother’s age and background. ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/119 "2023-03-07T16:55:41Z")
Here’s Richard Thompson’s take: [Genius](https://genius.com/Richard-thompson-read-about-love-lyrics) Thanks for the Thompson song pointer, hadn’t heard it before. He is a splendid writer as well as an excellent guitarist! ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2023, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/120 "2023-03-07T18:33:49Z")
> [@xtenkfarpl](#): > > Thanks for the Thompson song pointer, hadn’t heard it before. He is a splendid writer as well as an excellent guitarist! And he is even better live than he is on CD. We had never heard of him when we saw him sharing a bill with Roger McGuinn, and we were immediately blown away. We’ve seen him lots of time since. He’s still touring, I think. Good both solo and with a band. (And yes, this is factual!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395.md?page=7)