# In olden days, how common was it for people to enter marriage with literally no clue what sex was? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 26, 2023, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395 "2023-02-26T13:22:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/162 "2023-03-11T02:21:38Z")
What we have here are the precursors of Jack D. Ripper’s “precious bodily fluids”? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/163 "2023-03-11T02:27:28Z")
Here is the 1950s version. [![Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/YuNRfNb.jpeg "More advice about sexual awakening, from my father") ](https://imgur.com/YuNRfNb) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/164 "2023-03-11T06:31:08Z")
> [@Moriarty quoting a BSA manual](#): > > his ideals are changed and enlarged That’s a… unique euphemism. ---
**Author:** ![Nyvaak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Nyvaak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nyvaak)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/165 "2023-03-11T07:16:51Z")
Oh my god, the Boy Scout Handbook ! It was a lot more enlightened, but not an iota more informative in the early '70s when I was a tenderfoot. “Some boys cause these emissions themselves. While this will not hurt them, nevertheless they should not do something if they are worried it will cause them harm.” I had no idea how they -_ahem!_- caused these emissions. But I figured that out long before I figured out the seeming contradiction: it won’t hurt you, but don’t do it anyway. Also, I am chagrined to admit I did _not_ have to look up that quote. ---
**Author:** ![eburacum45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eburacum45/32/8690_2.png) [@eburacum45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eburacum45)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/166 "2023-03-11T08:02:59Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Here is the 1950s version. “Seek advice from wise, clean, strong men.” With a picture of a railroad signaller and a man cooking on a campfire. As my wife just said when she saw this, that sounds like a recipe for disaster. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/167 "2023-03-11T10:30:49Z")
Damn. NOW I know why my life is the way it turned out - thank you, Boy Scouts of 1911 and Dr Hall of 1909! Those passages explain a lot - my manhood has been getting sapped away all these years. > [@Moriarty](#): > > When this fluid appears in a boy’s body, it works a wonderful change in him. His chest deepens, his shoulders broaden, his voice changes, his ideals are changed and enlarged. Heh-heh. Enlarged. Heh-heh. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/168 "2023-03-11T13:22:42Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > the precursors of Jack D. Ripper’s “precious bodily fluids”? That’s why he denied women his Essence. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/169 "2023-03-11T14:24:05Z")
> [@Nyvaak](#): > > “Some boys cause these emissions themselves. While this will not hurt them, nevertheless they should not do something if they are worried it will cause them harm.” > > I had no idea how they -_ahem!_- caused these emissions. But I figured that out long before I figured out the seeming contradiction: it won’t hurt you, but don’t do it anyway. I would parse the contradiction as > Sensible science knows masturbation is normal and not only not harmless, but mildly beneficial since it (slightly) reduces the likelihood of unwanted pregnancies. > > OTOH, we the BSA, are well aware of our Puritan Christian roots and the many religious ~~wackjobs~~ adherents among our Scouts’ parents and therefore among our Scouts. In an effort to not piss off those vital donors, we’re going to say you should not masturbate if your parents would disapprove or have already filled your head with the ~~silly~~ notion that a) the christian god exists and b) that purported god would disapprove of your masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/170 "2023-03-11T15:08:58Z")
> [@Nyvaak](#): > > It was a lot more enlightened, but not an iota more informative in the early '70s when I was a tenderfoot. > > “Some boys cause these emissions themselves. While this will not hurt them, nevertheless they should not do something if they are worried it will cause them harm.” Here’s the 1967 version. > [@](#): > > From Boy to Man. > > At the age of 13, 14, or 15 (sometimes earlier, sometimes later) you not only grow, but numerous changes take place in your body. Your voice changes. Hair appears on your face, in the armpits, around the sex organ. Your sex organ increases in size. > > All these changes are caused by the function of the sex glands or testicles. They produce fluids or secretions that have a great effect on your development. > > At times the glands discharge part of their secretions through the sex organ during sleep. This process is called a nocturnal emis- sion or a “wet dream.” It is perfectly natural and healthy and a sign that nature has taken care of the situation in its own manner. > > There are boys who do not let nature have its own way with them but cause emissions themselves. This may do no physical harm, but may cause them to worry. Any real boy knows that anything that causes him to worry should be avoided or overcome. > > If anything like this worries you, this is not unusual—just about all boys have the same problem. Seek the correct answer to any question which bothers you about your development from boy to man. But be sure to get your in- formation from reliable sources—your parents, your physician, > your spiritual adviser. > **[boy-scout-handbook-1967-processed.pdf](https://scouting4boysorg.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/boy-scout-handbook-1967-processed.pdf)** > > 60.86 MB At least it’s not bad science, even if it’s unnecessarily critical of natural human functioning. And I give it credit for encouraging kids to ask “reliable sources” for more information. Alas, though, the manual itself (which purports to be just such a source on other elements of a boys’ life) is all too silent on this important topic. The 20th century male raised as a Boy Scout endeavors to always be prepared, but the Scouts certainly fail to provide any worthwhile preparation for the carnal experience. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/171 "2023-03-11T15:11:21Z")
I have read that masturbation to finish is good as it helps the prostate. For males. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/172 "2023-03-11T15:38:40Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Here is the 1950s version. It references another book, In Training. I found the 1950 edition (it looks like it first came out in the 1930s). Here’s the description of intercourse: > [@](#): > > The part that the man plays in the develop- ment of the child up to the time of birth is much less than that which the woman plays. Before a child can be conceived, it is necessary that the sperm cells shall be placed in the vagina of the woman. They will then make their way by a sort of swimming motion until they pass into the womb and even into the oviduct where they unite with the egg cell. This bringing of the sperm cells to the egg cells is essentially the same process that is seen when the bee carries the male pollen to the female portion of the > flower. The details are, of course, different. The union of husband and wife for the im- planting of the sperm cells is one of loving embrace and is accompanied by much joy on the part of both when they really love each other. At this time the male penis becomes much larger and stiff. After the wife has been caressed to the point of being as eager for union as the husband, and the male organ is inserted into the vagina, a series of in and out move- ments produces a sensation equally delightful to both husband and wife. Then the muscles of the male organs contract and inject the sperm cells (semen) into the female vagina. The process by which this takes place is called sexual intercourse, or coitus . When mutually enjoyed, it adds greatly to the happiness and > security of the marriage. If as a result of a particular act of intercourse the sperm cells should find and unite with an egg cell, the con- > ception of a new individual has taken place. Of course, then it gets into the moralizing > [@](#): > > The first purpose of intercourse is that children may be born. The second purpose is that it will give much pleasure to the man and wife and will cause them to love being together and building a home and family of their own. The atmos- phere created by their happiness will be whole- some and life-giving to the children born of > their love. You boys should realize that you are rapidly becoming men and that you could probably even now be the fathers of children. I am sure that > thought must startle you a bit. > The girls of your own age and younger could be mothers and occasionally are so. You do not have any desire to marry and have children now, I am sure. You want to do a great many other things first, and you may even feel now that you never > want children. > As a matter of fact, the law would not permit you to marry yet if you should wish to do so. Therefore there is but one safe position. You must not have intercourse with > any woman or girl under any circumstances. > This is true not only because of the dangers of conception and venereal disease which are very real, as will be brought out later, but at last equally important, because this greatest source of fulfillment between men and women can reach its full beauty only in marriage. To have one’s first experience in a cheap and temporary setting without the deep meaning of true marriage is to run the risk of hangovers in unfortunate attitudes and patterns that may > prove serious obstacles to happy marriage. Still, as noted earlier in the book, this was progress > [@](#): > > Older persons have not always believed in teaching young people concerning these mat- ters. When I was your age, I managed to get possession of a little red-backed paper-bound book entitled, “A Peep Into the Mysteries of Nature.” I read it several times and would have read it more had my mother not found it and burned it. It wasn’t such a bad book, consider- ing the fact that it was really an advertisement for some quack medicine that was supposed to make one manly and strong. Strangely enough there was no more reliable information to be had in those times. Now all this is changed, and parents are anxious to have their sons and daughters get the story straight. It is much safer to find out about these matters from par- ents, teachers, physicians, nurses, and books written by well qualified persons, than to learn from other boys who know no more about it than you do yourself or from people who have some worthless medicine to sell. And, yet, there was still so much more progress to be had. > [@](#): > > In addition to masturbation there are sev- eral other methods of sexual abuse practiced between bovs and men which are even more > disgusting. They are, indeed, so disgusting and objectionable that persons who practice these methods are looked on with the greatest con- tempt by all normal persons. The continuation of these methods will so injure the decency and self respect of the persons that use them that they will be utterly ruined for any normal practice of sex. Under no circumstances must the sexual organs be used except in the way that nature intended; then, of course, they must be controlled as might be expected of men and women who have a higher purpose in life than > merely to gratify every desire that may arise. > **[In training; for boys of high school age.](https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=uiug.30112045194716&view=1up&seq=12)** > > In training; for boys of high school age. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/173 "2023-03-11T17:51:21Z")
It started off so well… ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/174 "2023-03-11T18:10:36Z")
And, of course, _only boys (males) engage in the “ruinous habit”_ (or other depravities), for they are not made of sugar & spice. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/175 "2023-03-11T19:11:02Z")
My goodness. I hope such pornography isn’t found on the shelves of our public schools. Think of the children! 😳 ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/176 "2023-03-11T19:35:33Z")
I went to a farm stall last weekend and my kids, particularly my son was amused by a rooster leaping upon and having a brief sexual encounter with a fairly unwilling hen. These are town kids, they did not get the farm education I got. They are 7 and 5. Perfect timing to learn about “the birds and the bees” (and the chicken rapists.) I explained in general terms what was happening, compared their bodies to male and female adults. They are too young to get much more but my son asked “Did you jump on mummy like that?” For which I said no. The truth is, as our second child, I had been secretly tracking my wife’s periods using an app, and identified the ideal fertile period to get a son… and I did behave pretty much like this rooster, though I think my wife enjoyed it a bit more than the hen did. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/177 "2023-03-11T19:48:32Z")
> [@eburacum45](#): > > “Seek advice from wise, clean, strong men.” > With a picture of a railroad signaller and a man cooking on a campfire. “Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?” ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/178 "2023-03-11T20:32:46Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Seek the correct answer to any question which bothers you about your development from boy to man. But be sure to get your in- formation from reliable sources—your parents, your physician, > your spiritual adviser. [Tod](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000206/?ref_=tt_ch) : Um, a few months ago, Garry got his first… boner. You know what that is? [Helen](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001848/?ref_=tt_ch) : If memory serves. [Tod](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000206/?ref_=tt_ch) : Aw, great! Anyway, since then, he’s been… uh… slappin’ the salami. No offense. [Helen](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001848/?ref_=tt_ch) : No. [Tod](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000206/?ref_=tt_ch) : Apparently, he’s goin’ for a world record. Anyway, he was afraid there was something wrong with him, you know? Like he was a pervert or something. I told him that’s what little dudes do - we’ve all done it. It made him happy. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/179 "2023-03-11T20:35:57Z")
> [@eburacum45](#): > > Seek advice from wise, clean, strong men.” Bart: Dad, why’d you take me to a gay steel mill? ---
**Author:** ![Nyvaak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Nyvaak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nyvaak)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/180 "2023-03-11T21:00:29Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > There are boys who do not let nature have its own way with them but cause emissions themselves. This may do no physical harm, but may cause them to worry. Any real boy knows that anything that causes him to worry should be avoided or overcome Moriarty, the passage you bolded is probably the exact one I was thinking of from my own Boy Scout reading. I’m actually relieved I didn’t remember it as precisely as I had thought. And while I don’t expect the Boy Scout Handbook to give instructions or anything, they could at least have given the word for it, or mentioned why folks do it, or explained why anyone would be worried, or _something_ besides that cryptic statement. I found it quite confusing at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Nyvaak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Nyvaak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nyvaak)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2023, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395/181 "2023-03-11T21:03:25Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Sensible science knows masturbation is normal and not only not harmless, but mildly beneficial since it (slightly) reduces the likelihood of unwanted pregnancies. > > OTOH, we the BSA, are well aware of our Puritan Christian roots and the many religious ~~wackjobs~~ adherents among our Scouts’ parents . . . LSLGuy, I would say you nailed it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-olden-days-how-common-was-it-for-people-to-enter-marriage-with-literally-no-clue-what-sex-was/980395.md?page=10)