# In other words, evacuating the bowels. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 15, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116 "2009-07-15T15:30:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/21 "2009-07-16T03:16:47Z")
Lose some weight ---
**Author:** ![Monkey\_Chews](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@Monkey\_Chews](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monkey_Chews)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/22 "2009-07-16T03:19:48Z")
I’ve gotta go give birth to your twin. ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/23 "2009-07-16T03:31:16Z")
Visit London ! ---
**Author:** ![Pitter\_Patter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90db22/32.png) [@Pitter\_Patter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitter_Patter)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/24 "2009-07-16T05:42:35Z")
I like “recycling the groceries”. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/25 "2009-07-16T05:50:14Z")
Take a grunt. See a man about a horse. Squeeze one out. Make a deposit. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/26 "2009-07-16T05:56:31Z")
The boyfriend and I use the term, “Ride the Deuce!” after a recorded announcement on the Deuce double decker bus system in Las Vegas. It actually says that. Kills us every time. ---
**Author:** ![Sofis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Sofis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofis)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/27 "2009-07-16T07:17:38Z")
Remember: when evacuating the bowels it is important to _not panic_. If you stay calm and avoid pushing or crowding the others evacuating, then the bowels will be evacuated in the most efficient way possible, and no one will get hurt. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/28 "2009-07-16T07:56:24Z")
Playing Battleship. Brown is delivering a package. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/29 "2009-07-16T09:16:26Z")
> [@picker](#): > > Pump a grumpy. This one woulda been a spit-take if I’d been drinking something. I am officially adopting this one for my very own. ETA all the other ones I’ve heard or used have already been listed. I do think, however, that “logging **in** to the toilet” would be more logical. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/30 "2009-07-16T12:01:10Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > This one woulda been a spit-take if I’d been drinking something. I am officially adopting this one for my very own. > > ETA all the other ones I’ve heard or used have already been listed. I do think, however, that “logging **in** to the toilet” would be more logical. Years ago The Onion had an article about a revolutionary new “E-toilet” that was going to revolutionize on-line shitting. The article used every pun they could think up, like this gem: “The new process is simple: just log on, **log out** , log off.” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/31 "2009-07-16T12:16:00Z")
From a Stephen King book: Step into the shitatorium for my morning constitutional. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/32 "2009-07-16T12:29:58Z")
Not so much an exact parallel for “evacuating the bowels” as for “why I’m getting up and going to the other room:” “The Uruk-hai are on the march.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/33 "2009-07-16T12:43:03Z")
Noticeably missing: The green apple splatters. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/34 "2009-07-16T13:06:36Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Obligatory Ron White line (since we’ve already had a Larry the Cable Guy reference): Y’ever wonder if you still have a spine? OK, I made that one up. ---
**Author:** ![Al\_B.Itt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@Al\_B.Itt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_B.Itt)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/35 "2009-07-16T16:38:25Z")
Dump a lump. Leave a load. Take an Alka-Seltzer (plop, plop, fizz, fizz). See what floats and what sinks. Make room for lunch. Say goodbye to breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![Yodalicious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yodalicious/32/8195_2.png) [@Yodalicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yodalicious)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/36 "2009-07-16T16:54:29Z")
Take a meeting in conference room b. ---
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/37 "2009-07-16T18:25:28Z")
Add a layer. (Harken back to outhouse days…) ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/38 "2009-07-16T18:51:45Z")
It’s been mentioned several times, but I have to add that the more sophisticated or romantic the situation, the better the odds that I’ll use the phrase “drop a deuce.” ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/39 "2009-07-17T03:13:43Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/7iBY7Yirq60/hqdefault.jpg "Bud Light "Cut The Cheese" secret TV spot not on Super Bowl") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iBY7Yirq60) ---
**Author:** ![Goggles03](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@Goggles03](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goggles03)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116/40 "2009-07-17T03:25:31Z")
Have an episode. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-other-words-evacuating-the-bowels/503116.md?page=3)